B. PREPARING SELF TO BE ASSERTIVE III. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION B. PREPARING SELF TO BE ASSERTIVE

THINK & TALK POSITIVELY This increases self respect and self confidence Reduces need for approval from others Allows one to handle conflicts more directly

PRACTICE TALKING POSITIVELY

IDENTIFY WHO OWNS THE PROBLEM? Person who owns the problem is the one: Whose rights have been violated Whose needs are unmet Who has stirred up feeling Who needs to act assertively Could be you, the other or both of you

GIVE AN EXAMPLE Give an example of a person who owns a problem that you have experienced?

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE: Use “I” statements: I think… I believe… I need… I cannot… I do not believe… I do not want… EXAMPLE: “I need help with Mr. Jones’ treatment some time this AM, what time would you be free?”

Characteristics of “I”messages “I” messages are used when you own the problem simple, direct, respectful way of telling the other person what you think and how you feel Allow you to take responsibility for your position

COMPONENTS TO “I” MESSAGES I feel (describe the emotion) about (describe other’s specific observable behavior because (describe your own violated right or unmet need) EXAMPLE: I feel angry about being yelled at in front of a patient because I have a right to be addressed respectfully

GIVE AN EXAMPLE Create an I message using all three components of the message