ADVANCED TECHNICAL WRITING P RESENTER /C OORDINATOR : D AVID S ILVERSTEIN MONTH XX, 2009

Overview 60-min Presentation (with Q&A) Introduce WCC Program Advanced Writing Strategies (50min) Additional Diction Concerns Considerations Visualization of Data Technical Report Structure

WCC Program Writing & Communications Center One-on-one tutorial 210 Morton Any Stevens course, any semester Monday to Thursday 3–5pm Open late Tues/Thurs – 7pm Walk-ins welcome. Appointments available.

WCC Program (Cont.) WCC tutors can: Help report style & layout Help revise/edit term paper Help craft bibliography/references Help shape presentations/slides Help practice speaking/delivery Answer questions about: Grammar, punctuation, syntax Other writing/communication issues

WCC Program (Cont.) WCC Workshops for Design Spine Courses: SemesterTopics Covered 6 Introduction to Rhetoric & Writing Strategies Technical Writing Considerations 7 Advanced Technical Writing & Report Writing Introduction to Presentation Strategies 8 Advanced Presentation Strategies WCC Workshop Review

Why? NAE concludes*: 1.Elected representatives are ill-equipped to make decisions about tech-related issues. 2.Students, parents & teachers remain uninformed about engineering and the contributions of the field which continues to deter students from studying engineering. *Raising Public Awareness of Engineering: National Academy of Engineering, National Academies Press, 2002.

1 Innovation 3 Audiences Ceramic Water Filters Technological innovation: Used by multiple audiences Various business & technical sectors

Ceramic Water Filters Consumer Level Language geared to a non-technical audience. Impact tailored to consumer-level audience

Ceramic Water Filters Contract or Business Level Language geared to a business-minded audience. Addresses audiences main concern: cost.

Ceramic Water Filters Technical Level Language geared to a technical audience. Presentation follows technical format. Specific values are highlighted.

Workshop Review Rhetorical Triangle & Writing Process H.E.L.P. – Ethos, Logos, Pathos Invention, Composition, Revision Technical Writing Considerations Audience & Tone & Diction Avoid Jargon, Idioms, Euphemisms Explain Acronyms Be Specific & Detailed

ADDITIONAL DICTION CHOICES

Additional Diction Choices For technical documents, always try to: Avoid Empty & Unnecessary Language Use Strong Verbs Use Active Voice – Not Passive Voice Maintain Parallel Structure & Consistency Especially important when addressing a lay audience.

Diction – Empty Language George Carlin – On Language (2min)

Diction – Empty Language Something else we have in common: flying on the airlines, and listening to the airlines announcements, and trying to pretend to ourselves that the language theyre using is really English. Doesnt seem like it to me. Whole thing starts when you get to the gate. First announcement: We would like to begin the boarding process. Extra word, process, not necessary, boarding is enough. Wed like to begin the boarding. Simple, tells the story. People add extra words when they want things to sound more important than they really are. Boarding process. Sounds important. It isnt. Its just a bunch of people getting on an airplane. People like to sound important. Weathermen on television talk about shower activity. Sounds more important than showers. I even heard one guy on CNN talk about a rain event. Swear to God, he said, Louisianas expecting a rain event, I thought, Holy shit, I hope I can get tickets to that! Emergency situation. Newspeople like to say, Police have responded to an emergency situation. No they havent. Theyve responded to an emergency. We know its a situation, everything is a situation. Anyway, as part of this boarding process, they say, We would like to pre-board. Well, what exactly is that, anyway? What does it mean to pre-board, you get on before you get on? Thats another complaint of mine: too much use of this prefix pre-, its all over the language now, pre- this, pre- that. Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven. Thats ridiculous, theres only two states an oven can possibly exist in, heated or un-heated! Pre-heated is a meaningless fucking term. Its like pre-recorded, this program was pre-recorded, well of course it was pre-recorded, when else are you gonna record it, afterwards? Thats the whole purpose of recording, to do it beforehand. Otherwise, it doesnt really work, does it? The next sentence I hear is full of things that piss me off. "Before leaving the aircraft, please check around your immediate seating area for any personal belongings you might have brought onboard." Well, let's start with immediate seating area--SEAT! It's a goddamn seat! Check around your seat! "For any personal belongings." Well, what other kinds of belongings are there, besides personal--public belongings? Do these people honestly think I might be traveling with a fountain I stole from the park. "You might have brought onboard." I might have brought my arrowhead collection--I didn't, so I'm not going to look for it! I am going to look for things I brought onboard, which seems to enhance my likelihood of finding something, wouldn't you say?

Diction – Empty Language Avoid empty words and phrases! Empty Words & Phrases that is to say provides some clarification of in spite of the fact that causes the introduction of provides a detailed description of for all intents and purposes in light of the fact that under circumstances in which Concise Equivalent ( ) clarifies although introduces illustrates -- since when

Diction – Use Strong Verbs Avoid overusing to be & to get: Lack specificity of action Often repetitive & wordy There are 5 steps that make up our process. Our process contains 5 steps. It is the next section in the report (section B) that is intended illustrate a new method for… Section B illustrates a new method for… There have been almost no problems getting more support for the Stevens community to get more active about recycling. Active support for recycling continues to thrive at Stevens.

Diction – Shifting Tenses Try to maintain same verb tense. Shifting sounds amateurish & confusing * Excerpted from Spring Into Technical Writing by Barry Rosenberg, p35. Example* Hurricanes require high sea-surface temperatures. Another requirement was favorable high-level winds. With light winds aloft, hurricanes will gain power. Example Revised Hurricanes require high sea-surface temperatures and favorable high-level winds to gain power.

Diction – Active & Passive Voice Jack hit the ball. The ball was hit by Jack. Thing doing the action (Subject) The action (Verb) Thing acted upon (Object)

Diction – Active & Passive Voice Use Active Tense more often. Easier to read, fewer weak verbs 80% Active, 20% Passive Passive Tense Fittings are secured by welding specialists. A number of things are indicated by these results. Topographical changes were recorded and adjustments were made. Active Tense Welding specialists secured all fittings. These results indicate a number of specific challenges for NASA. Our team recorded topographical changes and adjusted accordingly.

Diction – Active & Passive Voice Use Passive Tense occasionally for bad news: Passive Tense Mistakes were made. Over 120 different contaminants have been dumped into the river. Active Tense Our team made mistakes. Someone or some company dumped over 120 different contaminants into the river. Sounds vague, unknown. Sounds disparaging. Subjects (or one doing the action) are not included.

Diction – Parallel Structure Parallel Structure = same pattern of words to indicate same importance Sentence – Not Parallel As part of our project, Scott spent time researching thermodynamics, calibrating instruments and went to speak with industry leaders. Sentence – Parallel As part of our project, Scott spent time researching thermodynamics, calibrating instruments and speaking with industry leaders. Bulleted List – Not Parallel Prepared weekly field payroll Material purchasing and returning Recording OSHA documentation Maintained hard copies of field docs Bulleted List – Parallel Prepared weekly field payroll Purchased & returned materials Recorded OSHA documentation Maintained hard copies of field docs

CONSIDERATIONS

hiiii David, this is Abner and Hank. First of all sorry for the late reply but due to some of the inconviniency I am mailing the topic today so the topic is CLEAN IN PLACE SYSTEM FOR CLEANING PHARMACEUTICAL PROCESS VESSELS. OK.We will meet you today at the venue that you have already given. please forgive for the late reply. Thanking you… Sir, I need an appointmint 2 revise. Ghows 2. Sir, I need an appointmint 2 revise. Ghows 2. Bad Examples

Considerations is not always casual! Use a colon or dash after name Find recipients name Reader Centered Purpose Statement (RCPS) Spelling counts; IM/Text Include phone number (if needed) Type your name/salutation Be polite, direct & succinct People dont hire you because theyre looking for a cool friend at work. Examples: Hello Dan: Hi Jennifer –

DATA VISUALIZATION

Visualization of Data Synthesize & reinforce information Provide faster impact Add variety & interest VisualIdeal forExample Tables Showing exact figures/values Organizing written info Bar Charts Comparing findings & Illustrating trends Line ChartsDepicting changes over time Topics Covered 6Introduction to Rhetoric & Writing Strategies 7 Advanced Technical Writing & Report Writing 8Advanced Presentation Strategies

Visualization of Data VisualIdeal forExample Pie ChartVisualizing parts of a whole Flow Chart Illustrating process Highlighting procedure Photograph Screenshot Maintaining interest Discussing complex objects Diagram Assembly procedures Discussion of parts Map Noting elevation differences Locating project in real world

Visual Data – Examples Whats more interesting to engage? Chrysaora fuscescens (sometimes generally referred to as the Pacific sea nettle or the West Coast sea nettle) is a common variety of true jellyfish, found in the Pacific Ocean mostly near the coast from California to Alaska (perhaps also to Japan). Diameter of the body (the "bell") can be greater than 1 meter, although most are less than 50 cm across. The long, complicated, spiraling oral arms and the 24 tentacles may trail as far as 3.6 to 4.6 meters behind the bell.

Visual Data – Examples Chrysaora Fuscescens* aka: Pacific Sea Nettle, West Coast Sea Nettle The "bell or body can be greater than one meter in diameter, though most are 50 cm across. *Located in the Pacific near California and Alaska (& perhaps Japan). The long, spiraling oral arms & the 24 tentacles may trail as far as meters behind the bell.

Visual Data – Examples Again, whats more interesting to engage? The Bluefeld Board of Commissioners invites the citizens of Bluefeld to a site visit for the proposed new recreation center – Smith Hall. The site in consideration for the new building is across from the Heating Plant (Acorn Street) on the portion of the land where the old parking lot stands. The Board of Commissioners, Carol Reed (Director), the architect, and construction manager will all be in attendance. Refreshments and food will be served from 1pm to 3pm on Saturday.

SITE VISIT: 1-3p, Saturday March 6, 2008 Food & drinks will be served. SITE VISIT: 1-3p, Saturday March 6, 2008 Food & drinks will be served. Visual Data – Examples Future Site of the New Recreation Center: Smith Hall Future Site of the New Recreation Center: Smith Hall The Board of Commissioners, Carol Reed (Director), Brian Jones (Architect), and Joan Smith (Construction Manager) will attend.

Visual Data – Examples Which display is most accessible/immediate? This table?

Visual Data – Examples Or this graph?

Visual Data – Examples In the past fours years from 2000 to 2003, MPM overall revenue has increased from roughly 66 million to 78 million. Video sales and theme park sales have consistently increased and account for most of MPMs fiscal growth. Unfortunately, motion picture revenues have decreased from 39.3 million to 22 million. Projected revenues by division for 2004 are as follows: 35.1 million (Theme Parks), 21 million (Motion Pictures), 26.1 million (Video).

Visual Data – Examples In the past fours years from 2000 to 2003, MPM overall revenue has increased from roughly 66 million to 78 million. Video sales and theme park sales have consistently increased and account for most of MPMs fiscal growth. Unfortunately, motion picture revenues have decreased from 39.3 million to 22 million. Projected revenues by division for 2004 are as follows: 35.1 million (Theme Parks), 21 million (Motion Pictures), 26.1 million (Video).

Label Your Information

Which Visual to Use? 1.You just redesigned the automated customer processing system at your place of work. It allows customers to check on orders, place orders, and pay bills. Your boss wants to know how the process works and what customers will see on the computer screen. How do you display this material for your boss?

Which Visual to Use? 1.You just redesigned the automated customer processing system at your place of work. It allows customers to check on orders, place orders, and pay bills. Your boss wants to know how the process works and what customers will see on the computer screen. How do you display this material for your boss? A: Use a flowchart. Also, consider adding footnotes and/or screenshots for further illustration.

Which Visual to Use? 2.You are to meet a classmate to review notes for an upcoming test. You have reserved a classroom in the McLean building, but your classmate wants to know where to meet. If you send an response, what do you send/say?

Which Visual to Use? 2.You are to meet a classmate to review notes for an upcoming test. You have reserved a classroom in the McLean building, but your classmate wants to know where to meet. If you send an response, what do you send/say? A: Send a map or link to map.

Which Visual to Use? 3.You are writing a report to your project benefactor regarding your expenditures. Your group spent all of the $1,000 endowment on various types of items, such as office supplies, travel expenses, office rent, and telephone/internet services. Your benefactor wants to know exactly how the money was spent. How do you present the material?

Which Visual to Use? 3.You are writing a report to your project benefactor regarding your expenditures. Your group spent all of the $1,000 endowment on various types of items, such as office supplies, travel expenses, office rent, and telephone/internet services. Your benefactor wants to know exactly how the money was spent. How do you present the material? A: Use a table with specific numbers or a pie chart that includes specific totals.

TECHNICAL REPORT STRUCTURE

Technical Report Structure Three major sections: SectionComponents 1. Front Matter Title Page, Abstract, Table of Contents 2. Body Introductions, Qualifications, Methodology, Analysis, Discussion, Conclusion 3. End Matter Bibliography, Appendices, Glossary

Technical Report – Organization How will readers process your report? Read straight through or bounce around? Explain acronyms/jargon terms per section? Make it accessible? Cross referenced? Do not overwhelm – Use Appendices Style Counts! Use images, charts, tables, etc…

Report – Front Matter

Report – Title Page

5. Honor Pledge 1. Detailed Title 4. Date 2. Submitted to: 3. Prepared by:

Report – Table of Contents Example #1: While the necessary sections are listed below, this example is too basic and not detailed enough. Example #2: Notice that while it could still be improved, this example already provides more detailed information to the reader.

Report – Table of Contents Example #3: Much more detailed. Includes a List of Figures.

Report – Body

Report – End Matter

Collaborative Reports Allow extra time for collaborative reports! Assign 1 team member to review report Assign 1 team member to order references Standardize formats early – font, size, layout Standardize labels, units, acronyms, jargon Avoid information redundancies Final Report Varied Sections

Writing Recap WCC Program 210 Morton; Mon-Thurs 3-5pm Open late until 7pm on Tues & Thurs Any Stevens course, any semester Advanced Tech Writing Considerations Avoid Empty Language Use Strong Verbs & Active Voice Maintain Parallel Structure Considerations Visualize Your Data Remember Report Structure

Thank you… A NY QUESTIONS ?