How To Understand and Motivate Them Decoding Teenagers: How To Understand and Motivate Them Debbie Lehr-Lee Academic Life Coach April 21, 2014

What You’ll Get From this Presentation An Introduction to Core Motivation Insight into understanding your teenagers (as well as yourself) How to tailor your communications with your teenager How to set achievable and accountable goals Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

Intel Technical Sales Engineer Program My Story 1995 2011 Intel Technical Sales Engineer Program YourCollegeGameplan.com

Academic Life Coaching Dedicated to helping students successfully navigate school and life Founded in 2004 Organization of nearly 150 Academic Life Coaches located internationally from Boston to Dubai As seen in CNN, Huffington Post, MSNBC, Wall Street Journal, and the Associated Press Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

The Facts about College Life Nearly 25% of students leave college before finishing their sophomore year Only 56% will graduate from college Tuition has increased 1120% since their parents went to college Cost of 4 years of college is $86K-$173K Avg Counselor to Student Ratio is 1:460 Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

Teenagers long to know: The Vaccine: Give teenagers life tools: to better understand themselves to empower them with choice to assume responsibility to better communicate Teenagers long to know: Who am I? How do I fit in? Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

Coaching for students works: …10 -to 15-percent increase in retention and graduation rates among those in the coached group.. Increase in confidence 93%* Improved GPA 95%* Reported being less stressed 82%* * based on 8 years of data YourCollegeGameplan.com

Some Maximize Success Options Academic Life Coaching Program Kick Starting the Term Let’s us partner with you so that your student will be more confident and happy in navigating their academic life and be ready and prepared for their life after college.

Core Motivation The messages students send to themselves and try to accomplish in most of their actions A map to increase your self-awareness, a fundamental component of Emotional Intelligence Same solution does NOT work for everyone…understand that what works for you may not work for them. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#1: Perfectionist Core Motivation I am OK if I am perfect Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#1: Perfectionist Core Motivation I am OK if I am perfect When Speaking to a One... Go easy on them, and be sure to point out what they did right Encourage them to take care of themselves Help them take the larger picture into account Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

I am OK if I can help others #2: Helper Core Motivation I am OK if I can help others Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

I am OK if I can help others #2: Helper Core Motivation I am OK if I can help others When Speaking to a Two... Be sure to show your gratitude for who they are and what they do. Help them draw clear boundaries Encourage them to take care of themselves. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#3: Doer/Performer Core Motivation I am OK if I am the best Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#3: Doer/Performer Core Motivation I am OK if I am the best When Speaking to a Three... Appreciate the 3’s desire to accomplish the goal, but encourage them to focus on fulfillment, not just achievement. Help them align their activities with their values Let them know that you support them no matter if they succeed or fail. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#4: Individualist/Artist Core Motivation I am OK if I express myself and I’m understood Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#4: Individualist/Artist Core Motivation I am OK if I express myself and I’m understood When speaking to a 4... Understand that 4’s identify with their emotions. If it’s a positive emotion, build on it. If it’s a negative emotion, acknowledge it and let it pass. Give them time to emote on the situation Gently bring the focus to something positive and possible actions to take, but let the 4 decide to move into action. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#5: Expert/Thinker Core Motivation I am OK if I am right Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#5: Expert/Thinker Core Motivation I am OK if I am right When Speaking to a Five... 5’s love to be right. When speaking to a 5 avoid arguing the bottom-line right or wrong answer but bring your focus to the 5’s reasons for their decision. Gently encourage 5’s to move into action and to pay attention to results, not just theory. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#6: Loyal-Skeptic/Friend Core Motivation I am OK if I do what is expected Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#6: Loyal-Skeptic/Friend Core Motivation I am OK if I do what is expected When Speaking to a Six... Let the 6 know you are on their side and trying to help. Be careful what you promise and make sure that you follow through on promises. Appreciate the 6’s wit and sense of humor and don’t take negativity too seriously. They value safety and want to be prepared for worse case scenarios. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#7: Enthusiast /Optimist Core Motivation I am OK if I get what I want Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#7: Enthusiast /Optimist Core Motivation I am OK if I get what I want When Speaking to a Seven... Encourage 7’s to slow down and appreciate what’s present. They love high energy, excitement and can get bored easily. When giving feedback it’s helpful to say something positive before and after something negative. Remember: positive, negative, positive. Let them know your needs and support them when facing anything negative. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#8: Challenger/Defender Core Motivation I am OK if I am in control Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#8: Challenger/Defender Core Motivation I am OK if I am in control When Speaking to an Eight... Be straight forward and blunt - get to the point. Keep focused on the goal, don’t make things personal, because they aren’t. 8s value control are hard workers and great leaders. Encourage them to ask for help when they need it - willingly showing vulnerability for 8’s is a sign of positive personal growth. Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

#9: Peacemaker Core Motivation I am OK if everything is peaceful

I am OK if everything is peaceful #9: Peacemaker Core Motivation I am OK if everything is peaceful When Speaking to an Nine... Encourage 9’s to know what they want and assert themselves. Encourage them to speak up before they “just can’t take it anymore.” Support them when they step outside their comfort zones. Encourage them when they take active steps toward a goal and focus on performance.

MBOs ARs Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

The Solution Well-Formed Outcomes Focus on the Process/Systems Positive Outcomes happen naturally when the proper system is in place Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

Four Criteria for a Well-Formed Outcome Stated in the Positive Started and Completely Controlled by you Appropriate size to time ratio Specific and Measurable Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

Example of Shifting Goals to Effective Outcomes Goal: I want to earn all A’s Effective Outcomes: I want to turn in all my assignments completed and on time this week. I want to talk to all my teachers about my learning and performance once or more a month. I want to study for each test this month two days before the test for an hour or more Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching

Your College Workbooks Bonus Student Parents 45 minute kick off session Free $150 Success Debbie@yourcollegegameplan.com

Next Steps Help your teenager understand him/herself as an individual Encourage your teenager to take increasing responsibility for their active lives. Use Well Form Outcomes. Go to YourCollegeGamePlan.com for additional information about Core Motivation and the Academic Life Coaching program

Thank You For Attending!! I value your feedback. Please send your comments to Debbie@yourcollegegameplan Your College GamePlan Academic Life Coaching