Family Aggression Replacement Training Night 2

Night 2 Agenda Family ART folders Rules Anger Control Training Skillstreaming Skills Role plays Intro to Hassle Log Homework

Rules Come to class prepared Cell phones and other electronic devices need to be turned off Participate actively Be respectful of everyone What is said in group, stays in group

A-B-C’s of Anger A – Activator B – Behavior C – Consequence What triggered the problem? What led up to it? B – Behavior What did you do (the actual response to A)? C – Consequence What were the consequences (to you and to the other person)?

Anger Control Training Triggers Cues Anger Reducers Reminders

Triggers Every conflict situation has an activator (A). We call these triggers. The trigger is what arouses your anger. Triggers can be external or internal.

External and Internal Triggers External Trigger An external trigger is something done by one person that makes another person angry; verbal or nonverbal. Example: Someone bumps into you at the store, a stranger is staring at you, a car cuts you off in traffic. Internal Trigger An internal trigger is what you say to yourself to after an external trigger. These thoughts combine with external triggers to escalate your anger. Example: “He did that on purpose”, “What does she think she is looking at?”, “If you are in such a hurry, you should have left sooner, idiot!”

Cues Cues are physical signs that let you know you are angry. Examples: muscle tension, knots in your stomach, clenched fists, teeth grinding or a pounding heart What cues does your body give you when you are angry? Complete the “Cues” grid in your folder

Anger Reducers Using an anger reducer will help lower your arousal levels and increase self control and personal power. Anger reducers can be a first step in using new behaviors that give you greater self control and more time to respond effectively.

Anger Reducers Deep Breathing Counting Backward Pleasant Imagery Deep breathing means taking a few slow, deep breaths to which you pay full attention to. This can help you make a more controlled response in a pressure situation. Deep breathing can reduce tension by relieving physical symptoms of tension. Inhale for 4 counts, then exhale for 4 counts. Counting Backward Counting backward is a way of reducing tension and increasing personal power. Counting backward lowers your arousal level and gives you time to think about how to respond. Count backward silently at an even pace. If appropriate, turn away from the anger provoking person or situation. Pleasant Imagery Imagine yourself in a peaceful scene. Think of scenes you find peaceful and relaxing. Go through all five senses and focus on the experience of each sense in your scene. “You are lying on a beach. The sun is warm. There is a slight breeze that moves your hair. You can smell the salt in the air. You hear seagulls in the distance.”

Reminders Self instructional statements or positive self talk used to help increase success in pressure situations of all types. Reminders can be very helpful in situations where you must try very hard to keep calm. Complete the “Reminders” grid in your folder

Self Instructional Statements Examples Self Instructional Statements Positive Self Talk Take it easy Relax Calm down Chill out Cool off This isn’t worth it Develop a plan Just walk away Take a time out Good, I am hanging in there I’m dealing with this very well I can handle this Good job not yelling I can control myself This is going to turn out well for me I got this

Making a Complaint 1. Decide what your complaint is. 2. Decide whom to complain to. 3. Tell that person your complaint. 4. Tell that person what you would like done about the problem. 5. Ask how he/she feels about what you’ve said.

Hassle Log Example of a Hassle Log Why use a Hassle Log? Provides an accurate picture of a conflict Helps you learn about what makes you angry and how you handle those situations that make you angry. Provides material for role plays

Hassle Log-Sample Conflict Yesterday morning at the grocery store, someone bumped into me with their cart. I was pretty angry because I didn’t have a good morning and that just made it worse. I yelled “Watch where you’re going!” He just walked away.

Homework Hassle Log Importance of completing the homework Feel free to complete and submit your homework online! http://www.btcwichita.com/ess/lessons/family_art.html Due at the next meeting!