Chapter 13 The Family

What is “family?” Reasonable to approach from a functionalist perspective: A small kinship structured group with the key function of nurturant socialization of the newborn. Kinship not necessarily biological – socially defined connections Functions and structure very different across cultures E.g., Atlas of World Cultures is data set of non-industrialized cultures

Variations in Family Life in Premodern Societies Men may have multiple wives 77 Easy for a man to divorce his wife 75 Couple has privacy when sleeping 28 Grooms are much older than their brides 70 Couples spend much leisure time together 27 Nuclear family is typical 29

Breakdown of the family? Compared to when? What is you measure of “breakdown?” History of the family not always a pretty history High infant and child mortality Children leave home and work at early ages Parents often indifferent - Abuse and neglect common Marriage typically an economic arrangement Good mothering is an invention of modernization

In the “Modern Family” Marriage is about choice, and “cupid’s arrow,” finding happiness This kind of marriage a product of modernization and industrialization This is a good thing, right? Research on novelty and attraction Idealizing romance or sexual attraction probably related to increase in divorce

Children – the trends Couples marrying later, waiting longer to have kids Family size dropping – 2 most often response to “ideal” question – mean is between 2 and 3 Children = strain in marriage – marital happiness highest before and after kids 60%+ of American mothers employed outside the home Preschool and daycare more common Egalitarian relationships more common (but still not the norm - Working women still carry a disproportionate % of the childrearing responsibilities)

Back to the breakdown question Divorce is up – US the highest rates in the world (partly reflects high marriage rate) Marriage not significantly down, interestingly (one might assume it is) < 5% report current status as divorced 75% who divorce will remarry Divorce rate difficult to calculate Divorce rate well over 50% but…

Center for Disease Control (2002) % of American Women Whose First Marriage Ended in Divorce Divorced after: 5 years of marriage 15 years of marriage All Women 20% 43% Race/Ethnicity Asian 10% 23% Hispanic 17% 42% White African American 28% 55%

% of American Women Whose First Marriage Ended in Divorce Divorced after: 5 years of marriage 15 years of marriage All Women 20% 43% Age at Marriage Less than 18 29% 59% 18–19 24% 49% 20–24 17% 36% 25 and over 8% 35%

% of American Women Whose First Marriage Ended in Divorce Divorced after: 5 years of marriage 15 years of marriage All Women 20% 43% Family Income Low 31% 65% Medium 19% 40% High 13%

% of American Women Whose First Marriage Ended in Divorce Divorced after: 5 years of marriage 15 years of marriage All Women 20% 43% Religion Catholic 17% 37% Conservative Protestant 18% 40% Other (non-Christian) Liberal Protestant 21% 44% None 27% 56%

% of American Women Whose First Marriage Ended in Divorce Divorced after: 5 years of marriage 15 years of marriage All Women 20% 43% Parents Not divorced 17% 38% Divorced 26% 52%

Stark says: High divorce rate probably indicates that marital relationship more important than it used to be Partly saying that people expect more from marriage Also important to not necessary equate divorce with breakdown When all marriages stayed together not same thing as saying they were happy

Why Is Divorce Common? Romance is a highly perishable commodity The opportunities to get divorced have increased – norms have relaxed The divorce rate is higher where a larger proportion of women work outside the home. Where women outnumber men, divorce is high Few children, family more mobile, extended kinship networks less common (greater isolation of the family)

Trent and South analysis of these factors in 66 nations Divorce rate of country is correlated with % in workforce, modernization, sex ratios Interestingly, proportion Catholic appears not to be a strong predictor

Living Together Increased dramatically – almost ½ of 25-45 have lived together 51% of women who lived with their future spouse were divorced by the end of 15 years of marriage. 39% of women who had not lived with their spouse divorced within 15 years. But are higher divorce rates because they lived together?

The One-parent Family In 1960, 5% of all births in the U.S. were to unmarried women. This has risen to 33% Over 60% in African community In Iceland and Sweden, more than half of all births are to unmarried women. Most unwed mothers keep their children and in 90% of divorces, children remain with the mother.

Unmarried Motherhood Nation Births to Unmarried Mothers (%) Iceland 65 Canada 26 Sweden 54 Netherlands 19 Norway 49 Germany 18 France 39 Spain 11 Great Britain 37 Italy 8 United States 33 Switzerland

Sweden an interesting example Family in Sweden Over ½ kids born to single moms Swedes criticized for being individualistic and seeking self-fulfillment Expanding welfare state the problem? Government replacing family? (e.g., state supported child care with no incentives for parents to stay home) But on the other hand, crime, drug abuse, poverty considerably lower In other “welfare states” out of wedlock rate low (Netherlands, Germany) And does the US do enough? – 1993 Family Medical Leave Act = 12 weeks unpaid to care for newborn or sick family member Sweden 18 months at 90% salary

Effect of One Parent Families on Children more prone to delinquency but the differences are not great. poor parenting, regardless of the number of parents, is the primary cause of deviant behavior in children. Biggest problem might be relationship to poverty

Gay and Lesbian couples Homosexuals are raising children (previous heterosexual unions, adoption, other methods) In this country it is illegal (1996 US Congress passed law banning) But some states (Vermont, Hawaii) and cities (San Fran, NY) conferred some marital benefits In 1989 Denmark became first country to lift ban. Also legal in Canada But in Nov of 2003 Massachusetts Supreme Court rules that Gov attorneys “failed to identify any constitutionally adequate reason” to deny homosexuals the right to marry San Fran mayor defies California law and begins to marry people Pres Bush, initially against Constitutional Amendment, changes mind Gay marriage a “treat to the family”?

Should we / can we save the “traditional family” No question, dramatic changes since 1960 this is point of reference for most of the “breakdown” arguments Since 1960, % single up, divorce up, children out of wedlock up Debate about gay marriage Many will point to a long list of social ills that have gone up as family has deteriorated. Cultural progressives see “traditional family” as a moral statement There are other family models, they argue