Peers Fostering Hope Supported by the Dr Peers Fostering Hope Supported by the Dr. Ed & Bobby Yielding Fund for Stroke Recovery Effective Peer Support Conversations

Effective Peer Support Conversations What is the one thing that someone told you that had a positive impact? You know as peers what gives people hope.

Active Listening What are some important things to remember when listening? Ask people to identify what is important and record their answers on a flip chart. There are 5 things that we are going to talk about today: Using open questions Encouraging and validating Paraphrasing Reflecting feelings Summarizing

Using Open Questions Open questions begin with “who, what, when, where, how” and cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Examples: “How are you feeling?” “What’s making you think about that?” Using open questions creates a good rapport through self-disclosure and allows the other person to express themselves first Good to focus on a positive element. It does not have to be stroke related. You can ask them to share something about themselves that is meaningful to them. You want the person with stroke to talk about what’s on their mind We try to avoid “why” questions because they can leave the speaker feeling blamed or judged. Instead of “why”, try “what led to that?” or “how did that happen?” or “what made you feel that way?” There is not right or wrong way. It’s the approach that you take with someone.

Encouraging Encouragers can be as simple as head nods and facial expression Examples: “This can be hard to talk about. Take your time.” “It’s brave of you to talk about this.” They build the speaker’s self-esteem and trust by recognizing the difficulties they are facing, letting them know that they are not the only ones dealing with these thoughts, feelings, and situations. Everyone has a unique experience. By encouraging others you are building their self-esteen.

Validating Validating and normalizing statements help the speaker to see themselves as not alone or isolated in their thoughts, actions, or feelings, but part of a larger group Examples: “I think anyone in your situation would feel similarly.” It is important to remember that each person has a unique experience, and that normalizing that ignores the individual will be more alienating.

“It sounds like you’re telling me that...” Paraphrasing Paraphrasing allows us to repeat in our own words what the speaker has told us. Examples: “It sounds like you’re telling me that...” “As I hear it, you’re saying...” The speaker has the opportunity to review what they’ve said and to ensure we haven’t misunderstood what they are telling us. If we get it wrong, they will usually let us know what they actually meant.  

Reflecting Feelings It helps to confirm that we are listening and that we have heard what the speaker is trying to communicate beyond the words they are saying.  It helps the speaker feel understood. Examples: “It seems like that made you feel really happy.” “That sounds scary.” “It might make me angry to be in that situation.” If you reflect feelings back, it helps to open the space and allows to deepen the conversation You are taking them from describing what they are experiencing to delving deeper into how they are feeling. It allows them the space to talk about something important to them. As with paraphrasing, the speaker may correct us when we are getting things wrong, so it helps to phrase things as our interpretation rather than an objective truth.  

Expectations People need time to cope with their situation. Be aware that you may not be able to lift their mood, but just being present is important. It’s important to remember that its not your job to solve their problems. You can offer suggestions and options. Don’t take responsibility for their mood. Every path is different. Open up a comfortable space for them to express themselves.

Summarizing Summarizing is like paraphrasing, in that we use it to clarify what the speaker is saying.  It also helps us to wrap up the conversation or to refocus it.   Examples: “So, we’ve talked about ... and you seem excited about ... is there anything else on your mind today?” “You’ve told me about your experience and how stressful it was. What would be helpful to you right now?” This is good for someone who has some difficulty with memory.

Role play In pairs, share a story about how you felt when you experienced your stroke or another event you would like to share. Practice using as many skills as you can during your conversation. Would be good to write these out on a white board - active listening, using open ended questions, encouraging, validating, paraphrasing Give them 10 minute each then switch roles of peer and ‘patient’

Debrief What was that experience like for you? After the role play ask people, which technique did you use? What was helpful? What was not helpful?

Boundaries You might encounter situations that make you uncomfortable Have a mechanism in place to redirect the conversation if it makes you feel uncomfortable What are some examples that you have used in your life to redirect a conversation when you felt uncomfortable?

Questions What’s one thing that you are taking away from today’s session?