"Cliques, Friendship Groups, Or Boxes?"

As with all social beings, adolescents need a peer group that they feel comfortable with. However, they often then feel trapped by their social group or clique or feel shunned by another group. This lesson will help explore the social "boxes" that people place themselves in or are put in by others, and focus on how they judge one another.

Objectives To recognize how and why teens choose to let others into their social group or block them out To address how teenagers view other peer/social groups To determine whether you can be open to other students who are different than yourselves

The Concept of "Boxes" We are all social beings and enjoy being with others who share our interests. However, sometimes it's difficult to understand what keeps us isolated from others that aren't in our social group-- or "Box.“ Activity: Close your eyes and envision all the people that you're close to. At this time, limit it to friends, not family. Visualise a mental "Box" around yourself and your friends, continue to picture it for a few minutes to really get a picture of your social "Box."

Write a Paragraph Friendship is…. Use the next 5 minutes to silently and independently write a 4-5 sentence paragraph about what friendship is to you. Think about qualities or characteristics that draw you to someone. Think about the qualities of those who you choose to spend your time with. Be prepared to share this paragraph within your table groups.

Share Each student must read their paragraph aloud to the group. Students within the group should look for patterns – what qualities came up in more than one paragraph? Make notes on your page about these commonalities. Be prepared to report out/share with the entire class

Looking Back Close your eyes and visualize your social "Box" again and think about the characteristics you've heard from everyone. Which ones had meaning for you? Which ones weren't as important? After contemplating these factors, does the "Box" contain people who meet your desired characteristics?

Shutting People Out Close your eyes again and visualize the people who typically stay outside of your social "Box." Within your table groups, each person must share one attribute or characteristic of people who turn them off and who they want to push away.

Do you feel judged? Reflect on how other groups judge the "Box“ you are in. Record 3-5 statements about how your social group is perceived. (Note: You will be asked to share this with the group.) WARNING: This part of the activity is usually an eye-opener to many. When you're on the outside of a group, you never really know that even being in a group that you may view as positive can be a painful place.

Generalizations? Has anyone ever felt “guilty by association” or judged because of the actions of another within your peer group? Examples: "someone got caught smoking pot, so now everyone thinks we all smoke pot," "someone in the Box is super-smart, and I really have to work really hard to get good grades, but everyone thinks it's so easy for me," etc. Is anyone willing to share?

What is the Purpose? What are the reasons for this exercise? Discuss with your table and be prepared to share with the entire group.

Thinking Outside the Box Mingle within the room… Find someone who you assumed was totally different than you. Find something you have in common. Examples: someone who likes the same type of music or artist as you do, who has the same favourite food, who works a similar job, who has the same favourite subject in school, who has a similar career plan for the future Now find another pair with whom you all have something in common. (this should not be someone who you would typically pair with – remember that you are trying to get “out of the box.”)

Building New Boxes Each group will get a stack of newspaper and roll of masking tape. You will be given 10 minutes to plan a paper box (without a floor), that can house them all. Requirements: Each "Paper Box" must be free-standing; students can't hold it up or even touch the materials. The end goal is for the box to stand for at least one minute with the students inside it.

Silent Activity After the 10 minutes of planning, students then have 10 minutes to build their "Paper Box" in silence. At the end of the 10 minutes, we will see which boxes stay up, untouched for one full minute

Congratulations! For groups who “won”: Do you feel a sense of accomplishment? Whether you did or did not, did you have fun with a new "Box" of people?

The Moral of the Story… You do not need to take down the walls of your old "Boxes," but just step out of them once in a while...and perhaps even invite in someone new.