FRIENDLY VS. MEAN TEASING

TEASING IS ON A CONTINUUM… Joking that makes everyone laugh and smile Friendly Teasing Joking that makes people sad or mad Hurtful words or actions are involved Mean Teasing Mean teasing that happens repeatedly Involves an imbalance of power Bullying

FRIENDLY TEASING  Jokes and statements that make friends or family members feel a bond  Is often based on things we know about each other  Works better if the two people know each other REALLY well  Works better if everyone is already in a good mood (be a social detective to figure this out!)  Causes laughter or smiles  Might cause the other person to friendly-tease back

MEAN TEASING OR BULLYING  Make people feel hurt and alone  Is done by people who know each other well, by people who know each other a little, and by people who don’t know each other at all  Is done by people in good moods and bad moods  Can cause people to feel angry, sad, and intimidated  Might cause the other person to tease back or fake-laugh to feel more comfortable  Can have long-term consequences for self-esteem (in both the teaser and the teased)  Is against the school rules and, depending on the severity, the law

SCENARIOS  Directions: With your class, read through each scenario. These could be friendly teasing or mean teasing (hurtful bullying) scenarios. Have the class vote and then, on the website, vote for the majority answer.  hurtful-bullying/

SCENARIOS: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS Why were so many of the polls close to equally split between the two answers? What factors make the scenario MORE LIKELY to be friendly teasing, in your opinion? What does the phrase “It’s just a joke” mean? Does that mean it’s definitely friendly teasing? If someone reacts to your friendly teasing in a hurt way (sad face, glaring eyes, or using words to tell you), who has made the social gaffe? How should you respond?

FOUR CORNERS  I will read a scenario to you. Each response to the scenario will be assigned a corner. After you hear the responses, you will pick the corner of the response you agree with. One corner will be left open for “other” responses– if you have a different answer you want to share.  Scenario #1:  You’ve been teasing one of your friends because she is really bad at math and you noticed that recently she has started to sit alone. Once you noticed tears in the child’s eyes. What should you do?  1. Nothing, she was probably just having a bad day and it has nothing to do with you.  2. Stop teasing your friend and ask her about why she was crying.  3. Tell you friend that you won’t tease her in front of anyone anymore but that she really is stupid and she should get some extra lessons.  4. Something else (Open corner).

FOUR CORNERS  I will read a scenario to you. Each response to the scenario will be assigned a corner. After you hear the responses, you will pick the corner of the response you agree with. One corner will be left open for “other” responses– if you have a different answer you want to share.  Scenario #2:  You’ve liked My Little Pony for as long as you can remember. Your friend, who is new at school, just started liking it, too. It’s really annoying and you feel like he is copying you. What should you do?  1. Stop being friends with him. He clearly has no real personality of his own.  2. Tell him that was your “thing” first and that he should get his own interests.  3. Show him your favorite Brony Youtube channel and enjoy a new friend.  4. Something else (open corner).

FOUR CORNERS  I will read a scenario to you. Each response to the scenario will be assigned a corner. After you hear the responses, you will pick the corner of the response you agree with. One corner will be left open for “other” responses– if you have a different answer you want to share.  Scenario #3:  There is a boy at scouts that is just really loud. You feel annoyed just by being around him. What should you do?  1. Ignore the loudness or maybe sit a little further away so he doesn’t seem so loud.  2. Tell all the other scouts to avoid him. Maybe he’ll shut up if he doesn’t have anyone to talk to!  3. Tell him that he’s loud and annoying. He should hear the truth.  4. Something else (open answer).

HOW TO RESPOND TO MEAN TEASING  Don’t give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully.  Stand tall and be brave. Sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. Fake it ‘til you make it.  Feel good about you. Nobody’s perfect, but do what you can to look and feel your best.  Get a buddy (and be a buddy) Two is better than one if you’re trying to avoid being bullied. If you are not the one being bullied, help the target get out of the situation by walking away with you.  Ignore the bully. If you can, ignore the bully’s threat and walk away to a place of safety. From:

HOW TO RESPOND TO MEAN TEASING  Don’t bully back. Don’t hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends.  Speak Up & Step In. If you see someone else being bullied, put the bully on the spot. Say something like, “That wasn’t nice, why did you say that?” Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right.  Stop, Block, and Tell. If you see cyber bullying happening, stop what you are doing, block the bully, and report the incident. And most importantly:  Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it’s very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and go tell them what is happening to you. Teachers, principles, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. If you feel like the trusted adult is not hearing what you are saying, find another adult to tell. If you find yourself feeling depressed or thinking of harming yourself or others, stop and tell someone about the way you are feeling immediately. There is always support available. Violence is never the answer.

NOTEBOOK ACTIVITY  In your notebooks, you are going to make yourself a resource in case you are ever the target of mean teasing or bullying.  As the heading, write “Who Can Give Me a Hand?”  Trace your hand on the paper.  Think of which adults would be really helpful if you were being teased. These can be at school, at home, or in your community.  Write the name of a helpful adult on each finger.  Color/decorate it.

PICK A RESPONSE  We will read a teasing/bullying scenario. I will give you some of the Mean Teasing response choices. A volunteer will pick a response and act it out.  Scenario: A student precariously balances their food tray as they exit the lunch line. They student moved to the area a few months ago and has not yet made any friends at school. The tables in the cafeteria are full. The student shyly asks a group of cheerleaders if he/she can sit at their table, at which point one girl shoves her handbag into the only spare seat at the table and replies that there isn’t any room left.  Response choices:  Don’t bully back. Don’t hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends.  Speak Up & Step In. If you see someone else being bullied, put the bully on the spot. Say something like, “That wasn’t nice, why did you say that?” Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right.  Stand tall and be brave. Sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. Fake it ‘til you make it. From

PICK A RESPONSE  We will watch a teasing/bullying scenario. I will give you some of the Mean Teasing response choices. A volunteer will pick a response and act it out.  Scenario: choices:  Don’t give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully.  Speak Up & Step In. If you see someone else being bullied, put the bully on the spot. Say something like, “That wasn’t nice, why did you say that?” Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right.  Get a buddy (and be a buddy) Two is better than one if you’re trying to avoid being bullied. If you are not the one being bullied, help the target get out of the situation by walking away with you.  Ignore the bully. If you can, ignore the bully’s threat and walk away to a place of safety.

PICK A RESPONSE  We will read a teasing/bullying scenario. I will give you some of the Mean Teasing response choices. A volunteer will pick a response and act it out.  Scenario: You’re sitting with some friends at lunch. A new student walks by and one of your friends makes a very rude comment about her clothes. Everyone at your table starts to laugh. Your friend then says, “Just kidding.” You notice the new student seems embarrassed and confused by the comment.  Don’t give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully.  Speak Up & Step In. If you see someone else being bullied, put the bully on the spot. Say something like, “That wasn’t nice, why did you say that?” Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right.  Get a buddy (and be a buddy) Two is better than one if you’re trying to avoid being bullied. If you are not the one being bullied, help the target get out of the situation by walking away with you.

DISCUSSION  How can friendly teasing create a bond between people? How can mean teasing drive a wedge between people?  What are some cues that our teasing may be going too far? What is the appropriate, mature response when someone tells us that they don’t like our teasing? What should we choose to do?  Even if we are not actively teasing someone in a mean way, being a bystander (just watching it happen) can hurt the person just as much. What are our choices when we see someone being teased in a mean way? From: Developed by: Shauna Jones, WV Children’s Home School (2009)

CUE CARDS  Everyone will now receive a cue card  This card should go where you will be able to see it– taped to your planner or in the pocket of your EF binder.  Use this card to remember the skills we learned this week!

COLLAGES  We will now create a collage to show friendly and mean teasing  For one side of your paper, find pictures that show what friendly teasing looks and feels like  For the other side of your paper, find pictures that show what mean teasing looks and feels like  Cut out the pictures and glue them on your paper. Add words/drawings as needed.