Dating Violence VS. Domestic Violence

What is your personal definition of dating violence?

Dating and Domestic Violence A pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Occurs when one person believes they are entitled to control another person and the parties are involved in an intimate relationship.

Statistics on teen dating violence 1 in 8 teens will experience physical violence in a dating relationship. 1 in 4 will be in an abusive relationship, although it may not involve physical violence. 80% of the assaults will include pushing, shoving, slapping and grabbing. 95%of the reported incidents are committed by males. Victims and abusers come from all different social and economic backgrounds.

Things to Consider Is it okay to be assertive when you say “No” to someone? How can being nice confuse the person asking?

Types of dating violence Physical -Can begin with threats of violence, punching fist through wall, escalate to pushing, slapping restraining etc. Finally it becomes life threatening. Sexual-Can be any kind of unwanted touching or rape, also degrading sexual comments Emotional-Mental violence can include constant verbal abuses, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolating abused party from others.

Warning signs of a partner who may become violent Wants to get serious quickly. Will not take NO for an answer. Is jealous and possessive. Wants to pick partners friends and activities. Is controlling and bossy. Makes the decisions. Put downs when alone or with friends. Makes partner feel guilty, “If you really loved me you would…” Blames the victim for what is wrong.”It’s because of you that I get so angry.

Warning Signs, pt 2 Apologizes for violent behavior, “I’ll never do it again.” Has strong traditional ideas about what a man should be and what a woman should be. Abuses alcohol and drugs Tends to use violence to solve their problems. Gets in fights, has a quick temper.

Why would anyone stay in this type of relationship?

Why teens stay in violent relationships Afraid parents will make them break up. They are embarrassed or ashamed. They are afraid the violence will escalate if they try to end the relationship. Convinced it’s their fault or that parents will blame them or be disappointed. May think this is what a relationship is about. No experience with healthy dating relationships.

Why teen stay pt. 2 Afraid of losing privileges, car etc. Believe that being involved with someone is the most important thing in their life. They confuse jealousy with love. They do not realize they are being abused. Think friends and family won’t believe them. They have lost touch with friends and feel isolated. There is a mix of good times, and hope along with manipulation, intimidation and fear.

What to do if in an abusive relationship Realize that it is not normal, and something should be done to help. Tell someone and ask for help to end the relationship. – Parents – Friends – Trusted adult – Counselor – Professional mental health worker – Police

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