Domestic abuse It is never OK

By the end of the lesson you will… Know …what domestic abuse is Understand …why it is unacceptable Be able to …avoid abusive relationships …help others who may be in abusive relationships

A note of warning This lesson may affect some of you more than others. If there are issues that you feel you need help dealing with, please get in touch with: The staff in the Pastoral and Progress Office The NSPCC Childline

But first… Watch this short film. Think carefully about the questions it raises, but you don’t need to answer them out loud. this

What do the numbers say? Look at your sheet. The top section contains a range of statistics. Highlight the one that shocks you the most.

What is domestic abuse? What do you think? Domestic Abuse is any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional). This means any kind of behaviour designed to control the way you act. It does not need to be physical.

Why are you doing this? Once you become involved in an abusive relationship, it can be very hard to get out of it. It is therefore really important that you don’t become involved in one in the first place, and are fully aware of what a healthy relationship looks like.

How big is the problem? Recent government research among young people suggests that domestic abuse is much more common in young peoples’ relationships than anyone realised. 25% of girls and 18% of boys said they had been physically attacked by a partner. This is not acceptable.

Views that need to change… A more worrying problem, is the number of young people who think that domestic abuse is acceptable: 1 in 3 young men and 1 in 5 young women agree that ‘some women need to be hit’. 19% of young women and 34% of young men did not think that being forced to have sex counted as ‘rape’. 43% of girls felt that it was acceptable for a boy to get aggressive.

Who does this affect? 90% of reported cases of domestic abuse are against women, but there are an increasing number of male victims. 1 in 4 women in the UK will experience domestic violence in their lifetimes.

Two women are killed every week by a partner.

Is it OK? Look at each of the statements on your sheet. Highlight all of the ones that you think constitute ‘abuse’. As a class, do you agree on what is abuse and what is not? If you put all of the statements in rank order, with the most abusive at the top and the least abusive at the bottom, what would be the top and bottom two?

Healthy relationships. In groups of 4, you have an A3 sheet divided into sections. Imagine you are giving advice to a 7 year old child about what a healthy relationship is like. You need to use age-appropriate descriptions/behaviours You need to keep it short and simple

Getting out? It’s very easy to say “If it was me, I’d just leave” but actually it isn’t that simple: Your partner may have turned your friends against you You may have been made to feel like nobody else will ever love you You may be made to feel like it is all your own fault and it is you who needs to change You may be extremely frightened You may be embarrassed to admit that abuse has happened You may think you love your partner and this is normal loving behaviour, especially if you have no experience You may feel you need your partner for some reason

So what do you do? If you are experiencing abuse, talk to someone; you don’t need to be on your own. If you think someone you care about is being abused, then make sure that they understand they DO have a choice, and this is not the only way to be. Do not simply tell them to leave their partner; this will not help!

And finally… What do you think are the three most important piece of advice that you could give young people regarding domestic abuse? Write them down on your sheet.