Leaders – Children & Deployment| 1 Children, Youth, and Deployment What Leadership Can Do to Support Parents 2008

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 2 Objectives  Describe children’s and youth’s reactions and needs to deployment  Provide guidance on how leadership can help Families/caregivers support children and youth  Discuss other leadership efforts to create supportive environments for children and youth

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 3 Deployment Stressors for Children  Absence/being separated from parent-Soldier – lengthy, multiple separations  Fears, worry about parent-Soldier’s safety – especially combat  Changes in Family roles, responsibilities, and routines  Relocation of Family/children  Intense emotions  Changes in parent-child relationships  Media coverage of mission  Reintegration of parent-Soldier into Family  Changes in relationship with parent-Soldier  Changes in children – how much they grow up/change over a year  Changes in parent-Soldier due to deployment experiences  Re-negotiating Family routines, responsibilities, and decisions  High expectations – How will changes be perceived by everyone?

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 4 Children’s Reactions to Deployment  Differ across individual children  Change though out the deployment cycle  Are influenced by:  Age  Stage of development  Temperament  Life experiences  Prior challenges and  Support systems available (especially parents)

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 5 Children’s Reactions to Deployment: Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers (0-5)  Fuss, cry, irritable, or clingy  Display aggression, frustration, or temper  Sad, confused, or more difficult to comfort  Regress to outgrown behaviors such as thumb sucking or baby talk  Change in eating and sleeping habits  Pretend play trying to make sense out of the situation  Shy, withdrawn, or frightened by returning parent-Soldier

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 6 Children’s Reactions to Deployment: School-Age (6-12)  Irritable, angry, confused, worried, or depressed  Aggression, mood swings, or say hurtful things  Display problems at school and home  Change in eating and sleeping habits  Guilty, resentment, or complaints of stomach aches  Disinterest in school, recreation, and friends  Act grown up, and want to please and impress

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 7 Youth’s Reactions to Deployment: Teenagers (13-18)  Withdrawal, isolation, or loneliness  Rebellion, disrespect, anger, or lashing out  Depressed  Mixed feelings – mood swings  Acting overly strong and mature  Unconcerned or apathetic  Exhibit changes in academic performance or problems in school  Change in eating – weight gain or loss  Increased interest in friends  Use of drugs or alcohol, or promiscuity  Ignore or fear returning parent-Soldier

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 8 Children’s Needs and Understanding of Deployment  Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers:  Need securely attached parent-child relationships; based on trust – loving, consistent responses to discomforts  Are sensitive to parent’s mood and emotions  Feel and sense more emotions than they understand  Understand concrete ideas; avoid abstract or frightening details  Are eager to learn  Feel anxiety when parent-Soldier leaves and returns; allow time to adjust  School-Age Children:  Are concerned about being competent and successful; confidence develops when challenged, yet successful  Need opportunities to think critically with parents; need honest, reliable information  Are becoming more responsible and independent  Need some freedom with supervision and consistent limits  Have difficulty expressing emotions; help children think through their feelings and what to believe  Fear when parent-Soldier leaves; reiterate parent is well prepared for their job  Teenagers:  Can think and reason at a higher level with parents - understand deployment, dangers and beliefs  Focus on developing their identity and what they believe  Need space to develop intimacy, friendships, and belong to a group, but not total freedom  Need to feel listened to and in control, along with support and firm limits  Are more responsible and independent  Need open communication, yet continue to set aside unnecessarily scary information

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 9 Factors that Lead to Children’s Resilience  Maintaining Family preparedness  Understanding their basic needs and how they develop  Parents’ taking care of themselves  Maintaining a trusting, and supportive parent-child relationship  Helping children and youth stay connected with the deployed parent  Helping children and youth develop effective communication skills  Supporting critical thinking skills in children and youth  Seeking support for children and youth from Family, friends, the community, and professionals  Preparing for the reintegration of the parent-Soldier into the Family

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 10 Ways Leadership Can Facilitate Children’s Resilience  Educating and assisting parents  Creating a supportive environment

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 11 Educating and Assisting Parents  Provide Soldiers and Families with information and resources:  Know about the Operation READY Deployment Support: Children and Youth materials  Promote pertinent classes to be offered by military and civilian community agencies  Refer Families to programs and supports available for children

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 12 Educating and Assisting Parents (continued)  Advise Soldiers and Families about planning and preparations needed, and review Family Care Plans and Emergency Care Plans  Provide guidance to parents on handling media (how much to watch/listen/read)  Help Families and caregivers/guardians feel comfortable seeking the help they need

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 13 Creating a Supportive Environment Unit Level  Be on the look out for signs of stress, difficulties coping, and secondary trauma  Facilitate children’s contact with deployed parent-Soldier  Ensure Family is registered user of vFRG web site  Provide internet connection and mailing address  Schedule and inform Families of videoconferences with deployed unit  Encourage children and Families to attend unit programs and ceremonies

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 14 Creating a Supportive Environment (continued)  Coordinate with FRG to maintain flow of information with Families  Have FRG provide information to Families about children’s programs and encourage Families to have children attend  Provide or promote opportunities for children to connect with others and have social activities  Ensure supports needed by children are available on an ongoing basis, especially during lengthy deployments and months after a deployment

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 15 Creating a Supportive Environment (continued) Community Level Coordination  Work with military and civilian community agencies and schools to determine ways to support children  Determine ways to identify at-risk children having difficulties coping  Identify sources of support and resources available to children  Address emerging issues of concern

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 16 Key Contacts for Children’s Program Information  Army Child,Youth, and School Services (  National Guard Family Program (  Army Reserve Child and Youth Services (  Operation Military Kids (  Military Child Education Coalition (  Behavioral Health USUHS (

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 17 Questions?

Leaders – Children & Deployment| 18 Closing Remarks  Parents can use specific strategies to support their children during deployment  Leadership can provide valuable support to parents and their children  Leadership can identify and promote the variety of military and civilian resources available for parents and children