SYNTHESIS MINI-ESSAY REFLECTIONS

WARM UP 1/5/2016 Take a minute and look over your essay. In your student notebook, write down three things you can work on in your next essay.

WHAT I NOTICED: 6 WAYS TO IMPROVE 1.Transitioning between ideas 2.Introducing textual evidence 3.Citing textual evidence 4.Use of topic sentences 5.Extending your analysis 6.Formal Writing

TRANSITIONING BETWEEN IDEAS Transitions provide the reader with directions for how to piece together your ideas into a logically coherent argument. Transitions are not just verbal decorations that embellish your paper by making it sound or read better. They are words with particular meanings that tell the reader to think and react in a particular way to your ideas. In providing the reader with these important cues, transitions help readers understand the logic of how your ideas fit together. Effectively constructing each transition often depends upon your ability to identify words or phrases that will indicate for the reader the kind of logical relationships you want to convey.

TRANSITIONING BETWEEN IDEAS

INTRODUCING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE Set up every quotation. An essay writer always wants to be sure it is clear to the reader where a quotation comes from, who is speaking, what is being described, etc. Do not simply state your point and then follow it with a quotation without making clear how that quotation supports your argument. AWKWARD: Jordan demonstrates little curiosity about Gatsby. "He's just a man named Gatsby" (49). BETTER: Jordan demonstrates little curiosity about Gatsby. When Nick asks her about their mysterious host, she replies simply, "He's just a man named Gatsby" (49).

INTRODUCING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE Use quotations economically. Part of using evidence successfully and demonstrating that you know the text well involves choosing quotations carefully. A writer who quotes six lines where four words would do, reveals that s/he has not analyzed the text with sufficient care. Often it is not necessary to quote an entire sentence; individual phrases can often provide concise and forceful support.

INTRODUCING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE TOO WORDY: From the moment Nick encounters Jordan, he is impressed by her independence. He sees her sitting "full length on the divan, completely motionless, and with her chin raised a little as if she were balancing something on it which was quite likely to fall;" and he is "almost surprised into murmuring an apology for having disturbed her by coming in" (89).When Jordan does nod "imperceptibly and then quickly [tip] her head back again the object she was balancing had obviously tottered a little and given her something of a fright,"" again a sort of apology arose to [Nicks] lips" (9). He comments, "almost any exhibition of complete self-sufficiency draws a stunned tribute from me" (9).

INTRODUCING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE BETTER: From the moment Nick encounters Jordan, he is impressed by her independence. He is initially struck by an urge to apologize for intruding upon the "motionless" young woman who sits as though balancing something on her chin, for any "exhibition of complete self- sufficiency draws a stunned tribute" from him (8). Although you want to be economical in your use of quotations, do not fall into the trap of sacrificing clarity in the name of brevity. If you need a longer quotation to make your point, use it. Don't leave your reader wondering how a quotation is connected to the point you are making. It is almost never appropriate or effective for a quotation to stand alone as its own sentence without any setup or introductory phrase.

INTRODUCING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE Avoid unnecessary phrases. With practice, it becomes possible to incorporate supporting quotations into one's writing without preceding them with phrases which identify them as evidence. Phrases such as, "This quotation demonstrates that," or "the following lines show the reader that," are generally unnecessary and awkward. If you want to make clear the position of a quotation in the text, do not write that "on page 41 Gatsby says...”Instead, mention what is taking place at that point in the novel: "when Nick first meets Gatsby.” This will both help you maintain a formal tone and be more concise.

INTRODUCING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE AWKWARD: In addition to a charismatic personality, Gatsby also possesses great physical grace and agility. As the following quotation points out: "He was balancing himself on the dashboard of his car with that resourcefulness of movement that is so peculiarly American" (64). BETTER: In addition to a charismatic personality, Gatsby also possesses great physical grace and agility. Nick comments upon this as he watches Gatsby "balancing himself on the dashboard of his car with that resourcefulness of movement that is so peculiarly American" (64).

CITING TEXTUAL EVIDENCE BASIC MLA RULES FOR IN-TEXT CITATIONS: Author’s name and page number must appear in the text, unless you are only writing about one book. The punctuation goes after the parentheses while the quotation marks are before the parentheses. You can do this two ways. First, by including the author and work in your writing: In Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe describes Okonkwo’s short temper by stating “whenever he was angry and could not get his words out quick enough, he would use his fists” (4). You can also put author’s name in the citation: Unoka’s shortcomings directly impacted Okonkwo; for example, “With a father like Unoka, Okonkwo did not have the start in life which many young men had” (Achebe 18).

TOPIC SENTENCES The topic sentence should identify the main idea and point of the paragraph. The supporting details in the paragraph (the sentences other than the topic sentence) will develop or explain the topic sentence. The topic sentence should not be too general or too specific. The topics sentence should always connect back to the thesis. In fact, topic sentences often act like tiny thesis statements. Like a thesis statement, a topic sentence makes a claim of some sort. As the thesis statement is the unifying force in the essay, so the topic sentence must be the unifying force in the paragraph. Further, as is the case with the thesis statement, when the topic sentence makes a claim, the paragraph which follows must expand, describe, or prove it in some way.

EXTENDING ANALYSIS You have all shown improvement in choosing relevant quotes to help support your thesis. But what do we DO about these quotes? Explain your quote! What does this evidence mean? How does it connect to your thesis? Most of you did this, but need to show more depth of thought and make the connection clear to the reader.

EXTENDING ANALYSIS “Only one kind of daughter can live in this house! Obedient daughter” (Tan 24). This quote shows the mom’s values and beliefs about the daughter. This is basic analysis, and is better than nothing. First off, you do not need to write ‘this quote shows…’ Let your analysis make it clear that you are analyzing the quote. Next, try to directly link it back to the thesis, even using words or phrases from the thesis in your analysis. This is the most important part of the essay, as it is YOUR thoughts and connections about the thesis. You can choose great quotes, but if they do all the work for you, you’re not showing off your ability to understand and analyze text.

EXTENDING ANALYSIS “Only one kind of daughter can live in this house. Obedience daughter” (Tan 24). By stressing the importance of obedience, Jing-Mei’s mother is communicating her own values as well as the expectations she has for Jing-Mei. She wants to make her own choices and be her own person, but Jing-Mei’s cultural identity is shaped by her mother valuing obedience, and every decision she makes about what she wants to do with her life will be affected and impacted by her mother’s values. As she grows up, these values will significantly impact the way she interacts with the world around her.

FORMAL WRITING Using first-person expressions in analytical and persuasive essays can make the writing wordy, can make the writer seem less confident of his or her ideas, and can give the essay an informal tone. Readers will know that they are reading your thoughts, beliefs, or opinions, so you do not need to state, "I think that," "I believe that," or "in my opinion." Simply delete these expressions from sentences, and you will be left with stronger sentences.

FORMAL WRITING Example INFORMAL: I think that this character is confused. FORMAL: This character is confused. (The second sentence is less wordy, sounds more formal, and conveys a more confident tone.) "One," "the reader," "readers," "the viewer," or something similar sometimes can be used effectively in place of first-person pronouns in formal papers, but be careful not to overuse these expressions. You want to sound formal, not awkward and stiff. Example INFORMAL: I can sense the character's confusion. FORMAL: Readers can sense the character's confusion.