Teens and Parents

My Declaration of Independence What does independence mean? How do you gain or lose independence? The basic reasons for struggles related to independence with teens and parents are: – Freedom – Control – Power

My Declaration of Independence What is the relationship of independence between individuals and families? How is independence tied to responsibility? Independence does not mean that we don’t need others.

My Declaration of Independence Independence = Freedom, Control, Power If independence is freedom, what are you free from? Free to do? If independence is control, what do you have control of? If independence is power, what kind of power? What or whom do you have power over?

My Declaration of Independence Complete the “My Declaration of Independence” worksheet. Discuss your answers with the class.

Freedom and Responsibility What do the following sentences mean to you? – John ran away from home because he wanted more freedom. – After serving 15 years in prison, the prisoner was given his freedom. – We went to rent a movie and got one for free. – Israel is fighting for its freedom.

Freedom and Responsibility – Who was responsible for getting flowers for the secretaries? – Susie is known as being responsible. – I will be responsible for bringing the refreshments. – If anything happens to Mrs. Jones car, I will hold you responsible!

Freedom and Responsibility These are great examples of how freedom and responsibility can be used. Most teens view freedom as being free from the restrictions of parents. The images that this brings is being free from any restrictions and rules. This type of belief is unrealistic.

Freedom and Responsibility “Freedom to…” is a much better concept: – Freedom to act – Freedom to make your own choices – Freedom to be yourself In this case, freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand. The playwright, George Bernard Shaw once said, “Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it!”

Freedom and Responsibility Define Freedom: – The power to gain responsibility over one’s own life. Increased freedom brings increased responsibility. Increased responsibility brings increased freedom.

Multiple Roles of Parents Sons/Daughters Brothers/Sisters Wives/Husbands Nurses Taxi drivers Gardener Seamstress Accountant Community Volunteers Nurturer Disciplinarian Teachers Housekeepers Care Providers Tutors Counselors Motivational Speaker Cook Laundry Person Career Advisor

Multiple Roles of Parents Define Role: – A function or position inherited, acquired, delegated, or assumed by someone. What are some difficulties presented by each role? How do parents tackle the difficult times?

Multiple Roles of Parents What’s hard about being a parent? What’s hard about being an adult child of an older parent? What’s hard about being the parent of a teenager? How do the roles change? Parents were once teenagers too. You many be the parent of a teenager someday!

Stress Reliever or Stress Giver? What problems could you have caused during the following scenarios: – Family Picture – Empty Cupboard – Not Enough Money – Driver’s License – Shop-a-Holic – Senior Family Member – Cluttered House – Household Tasks – Special Occasions

Stress Reliever or Stress Giver? What could you do to relieve the stress during the following scenarios: – Family Picture – Empty Cupboard – Not Enough Money – Driver’s License – Shop-a-Holic – Senior Family Member – Cluttered House – Household Tasks – Special Occasions

Methods of Communication Mature communication styles Conflict resolution Resolving conflict with integrity

Mature Communication Style A childish answer can elicit a childish response: – If you yell and throw tantrums, others may yell and throw tantrums back. The goal is to get two individuals on the adult level of communication. If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one…really!

Conflict Resolution I need two volunteers that would be willing to act out a mother-daughter scenario. How to win with parents tips: – Don’t bring up a problem when parents are busy. – When a favor is wanted, ask for it—don’t tell. – Stick to only one problem at a time. – Never say, “All my friends!”

Conflict Resolution – Always ask parents before making plans. – Do not be sarcastic. – Shouting is seldom convincing and only leads to accelerated confrontation. – It is hard to carry on a meaningful. conversation when composure is lost. – Inaccurate accusations never help.

Resolving Conflict with Integrity Family members should be able to have differences of opinions and ideas without the conflict. Let’s play Family Feud! I need: – Two “families” of 4-6 students each – Scorekeeper – The remainder will be the audience

Summary Teenagers will always struggle to find their independence. Just remember, increased freedom = increased responsibility. Parents have many roles to fulfill. Make sure you are part of the solution and not the problem. Choose effective methods of communication with your parents. Homework: “How Well Do You Know Your Parents?” Due next class period.