Education for Families with LGBTQ Children Homeless Youth Network April 21, 2016 Sara Fernandez Dr. Larry Ponder Tricia Cramblet

To bring greater awareness to the problem of identity based rejection, the causes and the positive impact of prevention focused training What is AFCI? Why does AFCI exist? What does AFCI do? What can you do? Objective :

The Association for Family and Community Integrity Inc. (AFCI) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. What is AFCI?

Why does AFCI exist?

Mission / Vision AFCI Strives to break the epidemic of homelessness among gay (LGBTQ) youths by working as a community resource, advocate, and thought innovator. AFCI intends to provide access to stable, affirming, and welcoming environments through the delivery of educational resources for young people, their families, and their support systems. AFCI seeks to be an effective community organization dedicated to ending LGBTQ youth homelessness by providing comprehensive education, advocacy and support for youth and their families.

Homeless Youth in Harris County

Youth Homelessness Aging out of foster care Lack of affordable housing Aging out of juvenile justice system Abuse Identity based rejection

Identity Based Rejection When a family disowns their child because of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity. A child may run away because “home” no longer feels safe.

Children in Foster Care in Texas 30, Kids Count Data Center A Project of the Annie E. Casey Foundation

How many LGBTQ children are in foster care in Texas?

How many LGBTQ children are in foster care in Texas? ?

Foster Care Youth Urban Justice Center, Justice for All? A Report on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Youth in New York Juvenile Justice System, 16 (2001)2

Approximately 500,000 children are in Foster Care in the U.S.

Urban Justice Center, Justice for All? A Report on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Youth in New York Juvenile Justice System, 16 (2001)2 78% of LGBT youth were removed or ran away from their placement.

Sexuality and Gender Minority Youth in Foster Care report by The Williams InstituteThe Williams Institute 2X LGBTQ foster youth are twice as likely to report poor treatment, live in group homes, and have more foster care placements.

Coming Out

Sharing something difficult Parents want their children to tell the truth, in order to keep them safe. But what happens when a parent is unprepared for the news that their child is LGBTQ?

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out

You are too young to know. 10

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are too young to know. 10 You are Confused. 9

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are too young to know. We taught you better You are Confused. 9

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are too young to know. This is just a phase. We taught you better You are Confused. 9

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are too young to know. You are Confused. Where did we go wrong? This is just a phase. We taught you better

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out Who did this to you? 5 You are too young to know. You are Confused. Where did we go wrong? This is just a phase. We taught you better

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are confused. Who did this to you? You can change. This is just a phase. 5 4 You are too young to know. You are Confused. Where did we go wrong? This is just a phase. We taught you better

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out Who did this to you? You can change. It is against our religion You are too young to know. You are Confused. Where did we go wrong? This is just a phase. We taught you better

Who did this to you? You can change. Don’t talk about it. It is against our religion Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are too young to know. You are Confused. Where did we go wrong? This is just a phase. We taught you better

Top Ten Things Parents Say When a Child Comes Out You are too young to know. You are Confused. Where did we go wrong? Who did this to you? You can change. This is just a phase. Don’t talk about it. We taught you better. We don’t believe In this. There are no gays in our family

What their children hear: We don’t believe you. Something is wrong with you. We don’t want to hear about it. We don’t want this in our family. You are not worthy of us. We don’t want to know YOU. You have to change if you want to live here.

Many LGBTQ youth face neglect or abuse from their families of origin because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, Youth in the Margins report.

Teens who come out at home before they are 18, will become homeless. 1 One example, Ray, N. (2006). Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth: An epidemic of homelessness. New York: National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Policy Institute and the National Coalition for the Homeless

What causes rejection?

A lack of exposure, experience and knowledge. Not being aware of the messages that we are given by family, friends, teachers, religious leaders and politicians.

What causes rejection? We see the world, not as it is, but as we are. Anonymous

We want to belong, we want to be accepted and be treated with respect and honor.

As rejection increases so do unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.

Source: Adapted from Supportive Families, Healthy Children, San Francisco State University LGBT young adults who reported high levels of family rejection during adolescence were: 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide Compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection.

Source: Adapted from Supportive Families, Healthy Children, San Francisco State University LGBT young adults who reported high levels of family rejection during adolescence were: Almost 6 times more likely to report high levels of depression Compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection.

Source: Adapted from Supportive Families, Healthy Children, San Francisco State University LGBT young adults who reported high levels of family rejection during adolescence were: 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs and alcohol Compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection.

Source: Adapted from Supportive Families, Healthy Children, San Francisco State University LGBT young adults who reported high levels of family rejection during adolescence were: 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse Compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection.

What does AFCI do?

Parent Education Course

AFCI approaches teenage homelessness from a family systems perspective, recognizing that the best way to help is within the context of the family.

Online Courses (self-paced) Introductory Course Science of Sexual Orientation Bisexuality Transgender: Gender Identity Coming Out Family Coming Out

Keypoints Help parents understand their feelings of confusion, fear, guilt, anger and grief. Let them know they are not alone. That sexual orientation and gender identity are not a choice. Dispel the myths and stereotypes about sexual orientation and gender identity. Stress the importance of loving relationships. Explore the “Coming Out Experience.”

Do we listen?

I knew that what I was, was not what people expected me to be.

When I realized that I was gay, it scared me.

I was constantly working to not be myself.

Knowing that you have a secret that you can’t share with anybody, that was the hardest part.

You have all these feelings that you can’t talk about.

I knew absolutely that I wasn’t suppose to talk about it.

What can you do?

Educate yourself about LGBTQ people. Be prepared to offer healthy advice to parents of LGBTQ children. Share our online resources to anyone needing information. Give LGBTQ youth hope for a healthy, happy future.

www. glbt family.org www. glbt homeless.org

The power of family acceptance

What questions do you have?