Pause—Then Respond * Allowing students to own their actions. Reminding Staff to respond to students with care and thoughtfulness. * With permission, portions of this training has used and adapted materials from Ron Taylor’s Workshop titled: Power Strategies for Working with Difficult, Defiant and Unmotivated Students.

Why the Training?  Pause—Then Respond training is a strategy to utilize when working with difficult and defiant students in a variety of different contexts.  Why You? Supervision of students Supervision of students Daily confrontations with students Daily confrontations with students Front lines Front lines Common vocabulary Common vocabulary Hold each other accountable Hold each other accountable

Power of the Pause  There is a Best Way to handle any given situation, yet it may take …  a few seconds,  a minute,  an hour,  or even a weekend to come up with that solution.

Building Blocks for Pausing  Care for students  We want students to own their actions  Prevent student self destructive behavior  Respect students & avoid power struggles

What does staff do when he or she uses the Power of the Pause?  Carefully listen, observe, or acknowledge  Keep emotions under check  Allows one to think through an appropriate response  Seek the advice of other colleagues

What does a student do when the Power of the Pause is being used on them?  Think about the cause and effect  Come to an awareness that the staff member is in authority  Know that he or she is being listened to  Become aware of inappropriate behavior, language, or academic performance  Is “cut off” from verbally striking back

Activity #1:  Checking Your Pulse: Please reflect below on what you’ve heard or discussed. What do you agree with? When are some examples when you have paused? When are examples of when you haven’t paused? ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________  ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _________

Reacting and Responding  Arguably, humans are the only creatures who have the ability, despite the circumstance, to make choices.  We do not have to behave merely through instinctive behaviors.  Our actions are not predetermined  We do not need to act in a manner that escalates a situation.  Our responsibility as campus supervisors is to effectively respond to negative student behavior in a manner that preserves/builds the relationship with the student and quickly redirects his or her focus toward learning.

React vs. Respond  For this context, connect the word REACT with descriptors like….  Impulsivity  Immediacy  Emotional  Irrational  Short term gratification  Non-reflective.

React vs. Respond  Conversely, tie the word RESPOND with descriptors like…  Patient  Thoughtfulness  Rational  Calmness  In Control.

React vs. Respond  If we REACT, rather than RESPOND, to a disciplinary issue we make ourselves vulnerable to the manipulation of students.  They learn ever so quickly, what will anger, annoy, and irritate us.  Once we demonstrate an inability to deal effectively with a particular negative behavior, it is more likely to be repeated

React vs. Respond  Odds are you probably know the difference between reacting rather than responding to a student.  Many of you are experts, yet as one well known religious scholar put it,  “I don’t go to worship to learn new information—I go to be reminded.”  It’s okay to be reminded

Show What You Know  Directions:  In the far left hand column create school based scenario that you may or may not be familiar with.  In the middle column use short phrases and sentences that are examples of what it means to REACT to your scenario.  In the right hand column use short phrases and sentences that are example of what it means to RESPOND to the same scenario.  Complete a few if you have time, and FEEL FREE TO WORK WITH A PARTNER!

“ Respond, Do Not React” Checklist I have responded when I am in control of my…  Emotions  Words  Tone I have responded when I avoid the use of…  Sarcasm I have responded when I lead with…  Empathy

I have reacted when…  I let my emotions dictate my speech  I let private words come out upon a student  I let my tone speak louder than my words  I let myself get into power struggles  I let sarcasm out of my mouth  Outcomes are unknown

Examples of Responsive Statements & Actions  “I will let you know how I am going to respond in a moment…Try not to think about it and enjoy the rest of the ride.”  “I’m too disappointed with your actions to respond at this moment.”  “That was not using your ‘public’ voice. I’ll need to share this with Mr. Nelson”  Gesture, using minimal physical movement  “I really feel badly for you.”  “Sounds like a difficult situation.”  “Yes. I would feel the same way.”  “I can understand how that would make you so upset.”  “Please hand me your I.D. You’ll be called up to the assistant principal’s office later. Try not to think about it.”

Celebrate someone else and yourself  What responsive statements & or actions have been effectively used by you or a colleague?  1______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________  2.______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ ______________________________

Closing Quotes  “It is simply in the nature of a teen to measure who’s in control. Perhaps instinctively, adolescent students vie for control, all the while hoping the adult will be the victor.”  “Working with adolescents is messy and muddy. Doing everything right in a situation involving a student, increases the probability of a positive, desired outcome, but does not guarantee it. A student, in spite of your best, well-trained efforts may still choose a negative reaction. It is a good thing that we are not responsible for student’s actions, only our own.”

Closing Quotes  “Students remember how you treated them, in the midst of their poor choices. If they were treated well, the likelihood of a repeated negative encounter decreases. Furthermore, student readiness for learning has also increased.”   “When our anger is displayed to a student in regards to what the student has done (or not done) we unknowingly bail the student out of the situation by allowing him or her to focus on our reaction, rather than on his or her responsibility”