1. The secrets of Love The guide for true relationship Dr Yaron Ziv MSW. Ph.D Tel-Aviv University Maof center for human development

2. Fantasy and reality We run our lives through out reality and fantasy all the time Reality forces us to live through facts without denial

3. Fantasy and reality Fantasy is the ability to live in imagination with no connection to reality Healthy life is the combination of these two elements. We need them both

4. Fantasy and reality If we live all the time just through reality life is perceived as a burden. We lose hope and we become depressed

5. Fantasy and reality If we live all the time just through fantasy, we become detached from reality, we don’t take responsibility – we run away to “drugs”

6. Fantasy and reality We need both reality and fantasy for our emotional balance We need to recognize the reality and yet to give ourselves “legitimate" escapes like hope and imagination

7. The child and the adult in us In any one of us there are three major roles: The “child like” role The “adult-mature" role The “Parent” role Child like Adult like Parent like

8. The child and the adult in us The “child like” role is in charge of vitality, enthusiasm, expressing emotions, no inhibitions,authenticity directness, spontaneity etc.

9. The child and the adult in us The “adult-mature” role is in charge of rationalism, logical thinking, restraining, cost benefit thinking, analyzing, realism, negotiating, patient, including, empathetic.

10. The child –adult Balance When the “mature” part domineers the “child” part, we become very efficient, rationally thinking, logically operating but with no passion,with no vitality, no aliveness!!!