1. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 0 InterpersonalCommunication Skills Development

2. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 1 CONTENT versus PROCESS Interpersonal Communication Skills

3. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 2 VERBAL COMMUNICATION MODELS Interpersonal Communication Skills

4. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 3 Communication Flow Diagram Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe Explanation Problem Solution Agreement Reinforce Expand Reservations/Doubt Reassure Substantiate Question/Confusion/Conflict Rephrase Answer/Clarify/Minimize Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe Close Review POA Propose COA or

5. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 4 Explanation Model Problem  Solution

6. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 5 Agreement Model Reinforce Expand

7. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 6 Closure Model Review Points of Agreement Propose Course of Action

8. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 7 Reservation / Doubt Model Reassure Substantiate

9. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 8 Question / Confusion / Conflict Model Rephrase Answer / Clarify / Minimize

10. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 9 Query Model Indirect Probe Direct Probe

11. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 10 QUERY Indirect Probe Direct Probe EXPLANATION Problem Solution AGREEMENT Reinforce Expand RESERVATION / DOUBT Reassure Substantiate QUESTION / CONFUSION / CONFLICT Rephrase Answer / Clarify / Minimize CLOSURE Review Points of Agreement Propose Course of Action Verbal Communication Models

12. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 11 Communication Flow Diagram Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe Explanation Problem Solution Agreement Reinforce Expand Reservations/Doubt Reassure Substantiate Question/Confusion/Conflict Rephrase Answer/Clarify/Minimize Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe Query Indirect Probe Direct Probe Close Review POA Propose COA or

13. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 12 Communication Feedback Skills Avoid tuning people out by thinking excessively while they are talking Assume the listener does not understand you Control your emotions so they do not control your communications Interrupt people only if there is a 911 emergency Take notes when listening Focus on the non-verbal communications: body language, voice inflections, and facial expressions of others - not on what you are going to say next

14. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 13 Dealing with Conflict Isolate the issues causing conflict Define the goals or desired results Isolate the areas of agreement and disagreement, and list the unresolved issues Minimize conflict by putting issues into perspective or through compromise Prioritize the issues Brainstorm solutions to the issues Evaluate possible solutions to the issues Make a decision and develop an action plan

15. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 14 Words of Wisdom for Improving Communication Skills “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.” “You will never convince me that you are concerned about me or care about me if you are unwilling to listen to me.” “It is hard to start an argument when you are listening.”

16. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 15 NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS Interpersonal Communication Skills

17. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 16 First Impressions Body Language _________________________________ Dress __________________________________________ Face ___________________________________________ Hands _________________________________________

18. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 17 First Impression Packaging Time Extension _________________________________________________ Resemblance to Someone Familiar ________________________________________________ Categorization ________________________________________________

19. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 18 Credibility Capable of being believed Worthy of confidence Reliable Credibility Comes From: 1. _____________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________ 4. _____________________________________________ BOOM! BLOW ONE OF THESE and...BOOM!

20. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 19 Body Language Match Quiz Based on their body language, match each of the three with the following choices: a: Husband _______ b: Lover __________ c: Salesman ______

21. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 20 Silhouette Match Quiz Try to match each silhouette with the labels listed below: a: Openness, looking for acceptance _______ b: Relaxed negativism ______ c: Lecture ______ d: Headache ______ e: Closed acceptance, defiance ______ f: Aggressiveness ______

22. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 21 Key Non-Verbal Messages Master these: Openness Reassurance Cooperation Confidence Acceptance Counter these: Defensiveness Suspicion Frustration Nervousness Boredom

23. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 22 Openness _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

24. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 23 Reassurance _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

25. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 24 Cooperation _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

26. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 25 Confidence _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

27. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 26 Acceptance _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

28. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 27 Defensiveness _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

29. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 28 Suspicion _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

30. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 29 Frustration _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

31. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 30 Nervousness _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

32. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 31 Boredom _________________________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

33. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 32 S ____________________________ O ____________________________ F ____________________________ T ____________________________ E ____________________________ N ____________________________ Body Language: A Short Skills Course

34. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 33 WRITTEN COMMUNICATION SKILLS

35. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 34 Primary Purposes for Significant Communication u Solve a problem u Answer a question u Request action u Present an idea

36. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 35 Basic Writing Guidelines Consider your overall objective u Develop a logical progression of thought

37. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 36 Basic Writing Guidelines (continued) Use short paragraphs, sentences, and words u Use the active voice

38. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 37 Basic Writing Guidelines (continued) Write the way you talk u Be considerate of the sensitivities of your readers

39. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 38 Basic Writing Guidelines (continued) Check your grammar, spelling, and punctuation u Proof read through your reader’s eyes

40. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 39 Basic Writing Guidelines (one last tip) Avoid putting any bad news in writing, when possible

41. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 40 WHY? Because you lose the... Impact of voice inflection Impact of body language Ability to observe the other person’s response Ability to query

42. The Wetherbe Group. © 2008 All Rights Reserved. 41 Interpersonal Communication Skills