1. Managing Conflict in Relationships
Chapter 8
Managing Conflict
in Relationships

2. The Break Up (2006)

3. Conflict
A negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement

4. Conflict Management
The way we engage in conflict and address disagreements with our relational partners

5. Unproductive Conflict
Conflict that is managed poorly
Has a negative impact on the individuals and the relationship
Can lead to health problems
Leads to aggression in the relationship

6. Productive Conflict Conflict that is managed effectively
Fosters healthy debate
Leads to better decision making
Spurs relationship growth

7. Conflict Triggers Inaccurate perceptions Unbalanced costs and rewards
Incompatible goals
Provocation

8. Factors Affecting Conflict
Power Dynamics
Differences in power related to:
Resources
Feelings
Anything the other values

9. Factors Affecting Conflict
Attitudes Toward Conflict
Affect how willing you are to discuss disagreements
Affect how productively you handle conflict
Communication boundary management

10. Factors Affecting Conflict
Culture and Conflict
Individualistic cultures
Emphasize personal needs,
rights, and identity
“I” attitude
Collectivistic cultures
Emphasize group identity and needs
“We” attitude

11. Factors Affecting Conflict
Culture and Conflict
Religious differences
Gender differences
Criticism and complaints
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

12. Factors Affecting Conflict
Communication Channel
Poor channel choices can lead to conflict
Appropriate Channels?

13. Strategies for Managing Conflict
Escapist Strategies
Try to prevent or avoid direct conflict
Can be safety reasons, practical reasons, or strategic reasons for this strategy

14. Strategies for Managing Conflict
Challenging Strategies
Assertiveness
Get what you want without letting anxiety, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way
One partner wins and the other loses

15. Strategies for Managing Conflict
Cooperative Strategies
Focus on issues
Debate and argue
Consider options and alternatives
Consider the importance of the outcome
Reassure your partner

16. Conflict Outcomes Compromise
Both sides give up a little to get a little
Can be arrived at through:
Trading
Random selection
Has disadvantages for long-term important relationships

17. Conflict Outcomes Win-Win Both parties meet their own goals
Each party helps the other party with his/her goals
The relationship is improved

18. Conflict Outcomes Lose-Lose Separation Allocation of Power
Neither party gets what they want
Separation
Remove yourself from the situation to end the conflict
Allocation of Power
Take responsibility for some decisions