1. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.1 CHAPTER 2 THE SELF AND COMMUNICATION Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. Paula DeAnda - When It Was Me

2. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.2 Intrapersonal Communication  Self-communication.  Systematic interfacing with the self.  Social reality--a relationship outside of a social context and making it real through processing ideas internally.

3. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.3 Self-talk Influences  Behavior.  Your feelings.  Your self-esteem.  Your level of stress.  Inner attitudes, our attitudes shape our behavior.

4. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.4 Avoid the Psychological Vulture  Attacks a person’s perceived weaknesses.  Eats at the person’s self-worth.

5. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.5 Typical Self-Putdowns (Vultures)  Intelligence vultures.  Creativity vultures.  Family vultures.  Relationship vultures.  Physical vultures.  Sexual vultures.

6. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.6 Self-fulfilling Prophecy  What you predict to happen, will happen.  What you expect to do wrong, will be done wrong.

7. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.7 Private List  Take a minute to jot down all the vultures that eat at you.  Think about behaviors you could try to change them.  Talk with a partner about ideas for changing the things that bother you and interfere with effective interpersonal communication.

8. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.8 Effective self-talk can include various memory techniques:  Chunking.  Ordering.  Reordering.  Context organizing.  Mnemonics.

9. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.9 Talk about It  Discuss memory strategies you use to prepare for tests.

10. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.10 COGNITIVE PROCESSING  Each of us carries with us values (what you perceive to be of positive or negative worth), attitudes (your perspective and viewpoints), and beliefs (your convictions).

11. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.11 IMBALANCE  The imbalance between your values, attitudes, and beliefs is called cognitive dissonance.  Guilty conscience.  Instead of brooding: There is nothing you can do about it now, and go on from there, with the internal pledge of not doing it again.

12. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.12 SELF-CONCEPT  Self-confidence—a feeling of competence and self-assurance.  Self-esteem--an awareness that we are distinct.  Choice Therapy--we live and act in the moment as people responsible for ourselves.

13. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.13 THE SELF  Idealized self--what you perceive yourself to be if you were "perfect.“  Real self--what you think of yourself when you are being most honest about your interests, thoughts, emotions, and needs.

14. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.14  Should self--contains all the "oughts" and "shoulds" that serve as your moral guidelines.  Public self--the you you let others know.

15. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.15 THEORIES OF SELF-CONCEPT  Self: the spiritual, the material, the social, and the physical.  Social interaction.  Situational.

16. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.16 UNDERSTANDING YOUR SELF Johari window Photo from http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3094/3151607460_0f90928833.jpg http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3094/3151607460_0f90928833.jpg

17. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.17 Johari Window Self Analysis  How well do you know yourself?  How open are you with others?

18. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.18 SELF-IDENTITY AND COMMUNICATION  Social Interaction Theory claims that the presentation of our self is actually a carefully conceived performance.

19. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.19 COMMUNICATION ANXIETY  Publicly anxious people are strongly hesitant about communicating with others.  Privately anxious people mentally resist active communication, but will participate--often by forcing themselves.

20. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.20 Other concerns to consider:  Listener apprehension.  Effects of communication anxiety.

21. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.21 Solutions  Skill training to deal with anxiety.  Systematic desensitization.  Cognitive modification.  Willingness to communicate.  Drug therapy.

22. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.22 Positive Visualization  Practice positive visualization.  Accept the anxiety.

23. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.23 Try Positive Visualization about an Upcoming Conversation

24. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.24 Application Learning Activities Discuss with a partner or small group members or complete on your own outside class.

25. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.25 PSYCHOLOGICAL VULTURES Consider these suggestions for eliminating psychological vultures. Give an example of each by writing our self talk you can use right now.  Pat yourself on the back by saying something good about yourself.  Pat someone else on the back by saying something good and true about her or him.  Recognize your self-put-downs.  Block each put-down.  Turn the put-down around.  Positive self-talk plus visualization

26. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.26 AFFIRMATIONS  Make a list of ten positive affirmations, which are meaningful to you. You may look on the Internet for inspiration at Banish negative self talk or Positive Affirmations to Reverse Negative Self Talk or a site of your choice. You may want to convert them into refrigerator magnets, for example (see http://www.MotivationalRefrigeratorMagn ets.com) Read the list every day for a month or specified time length of your choosing. Does reading the list have an effect? Banish negative self talk Positive Affirmations to Reverse Negative Self Talk http://www.MotivationalRefrigeratorMagn ets.com

27. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.27 Complete the Willingness to Communicate (WTC)  Discuss or write a reflection about your score and what it means. You may want to write a plan for improving your communication skills. http://www.jamescmccroske y.com/measures/WTC.htmhttp://www.jamescmccroske y.com/measures/WTC.htm

28. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.28 DOVE  Find some of the Dove advertisements about self esteem and beauty. What is the effect of the media on self- esteem? Are there different pressures for women than men? See for example, The Dove self-esteem Fund or a Dove film - Girl's self-esteem or find your own Internet example. Discuss or write a brief reflection by relating what you find to a concept in the chapter.a Dove film - Girl's self-esteem

29. Chapter 2. Copyright Rowman & Littlefield. All rights reserved.29 END CHAPTER 2 THE SELF AND COMMUNICATION Berko, R. M., Aitken, J. E., & Wolvin, A. D. (2010). ICOMM: Interpersonal concepts and competencies. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield. Visuals from Microsoft Clipart or as marked.