1. Diagnostic Essay Feedback Students take notes on feedback. Teacher will use ELMO and the PowerPoint to explain.

2. Overall 1.avoid slang: wanna, gonna 2.3 rd person. Do not use the 1 st or 2 nd person (I, me, my, our, we, us, your, you) 3.use varied + appropriate transitions 4.difference between: there, their, they’re. – Over there, they’re my friends in their car. 5.Vary diction (word choice). Ex: creepy, creepy, creepy… Try “sinister, evil”… 6.Now in days (nowadays) 7.Take notes from my comments on your essay

3. Introduction 1.Engaging opening = factual statement, a truism 2.Increase your ethos (credibility) as a writer by knowing your topic well and integrating appropriate support 3.hint at topic, then end with your proposition about the topic. Take a clear stance in your thesis, and support your stance throughout your essay.

4. Introduction: discuss Some people do not like the way the internet works now in days. Some are for and others are against. Personally I agree on how the internet is run these days. My reasons why are as follows.

5. Introduction: discuss Internet is a source of communication, information, and entertainment. However, many people are not aware of the hidden tracking that lies behind a simple click of the mouse. Online trackers keep up with everything one views online and intentionally send ads that appeal to the interests of a specific person. Online tracking without a person’s consent is unethical because it violates privacy and persuades a person to buy products without his being aware of it

6. Body A (Your claim + argument) 1.Incorporate direct quotations (must have textual evidence/quotes) as support for your POV (logos) 2.develop clear topic sentences 3.TS is not the same as CS 4.quoting a quote “….. ‘….’ ….” “We sometimes think the ads following us around are ‘creepy’” ( ). 5.Cite other people’s words/ideas “….” (#). Don't overuse emotional appeals (pathos)

7. Body A: Discuss Due to the fact that companies track you online, it will most certainly help you when you want good deals on stuff you may wanna buy. A support of this is that “all the advertising ecosystem that supports free online content” (2), allows people to search sites for free. All they have to tolerate is the pop-up ads that occur so that we can have free access. Companies also do this to get there advertising and sales up, and it works for them. Those are some examples and reasons why it is good for them to do that.

8. Body B: The Counter-argument 1.Acknowledge and refute the counter- argument. 2.Use proper transitions (However, On the other hand,….)

9. Body B: Discuss On the other hand, these companies excuse their behavior because in return customers get free online content (Madrigal 2). However, simply receiving free online content does not justify violating people’s privacy. This is a much bigger issue that cannot be solved easily. Stated in the article these sinister companies really have no interest for the user privacy or rights. For example, “…these are the tools that allow websites to eke out a tiny bit more money than they otherwise would” (Madrigal 21). In other words, the companies are admitting they really don’t care for their users privacy as long as they make more money. These online companies have no ethics and morals. It seems to come down to profit, and as long as these advertising companies continue to make money, they will excuse themselves of the crime of invading one’s privacy.

10. The Conclusion 1.Maintain your stance/proposition/claim (be persuasive to the last word). Don’t be wishy-washy. – Ex: All in all, people have different opinions about this. The thing one should remember is that everyone is being watched; freedoms are gone. Think twice, is it actually a good or a bad thing? 2.Be insightful

11. Conclusion: Discuss The companies tracking users are not bad guys. They’re good guys doing something wrong for the greater good. They’re like misunderstood superheroes just trying to save people money by “…[supporting] free content” (Madrigal 2) by placing ads to expose customers to products and in turn, generating revenue for their company.