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Stand Up And Stop Bullying You Have The Power!

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Presentation on theme: "Stand Up And Stop Bullying You Have The Power!"— Presentation transcript:

1 Stand Up And Stop Bullying You Have The Power!
It’s time we talk about bullying and ways we can put a stop to it in our schools and community. Today we will be talking about ways that you can help yourself, and your friends, to get involved and stand up against bullying. Discussion: *AGE* What is tolerance? (Accepting people for who they are, not judging them for what they look like or believe) Is it okay to bully other people? (No! We need to put a stop to people being rude and mean. who wants to live in a world with bullies?) *AGE* What is empathy? (Empathy is when people put themselves in someone else’s shoes, and tries to understand what that person is feeling) *AGE* What is a bystander? (A witness or observer. The person who sees bullying happening) What is a victim? (The person who is being bullied) Should you report bullying to adults? (Yes! Its important to report all acts of bullying to an adult, so something can be done to stop it) (allow about 1 minutes for each question and choose 1 or 2 audience members to give their answers) With *AGE* questions, determine if they’re appropriate for your audience’s age.

2 Who Is Trying To Stop Bullying?
School programs help stop bullying in your classroom and school Government programs Spreading the message to all communities and schools When we talk about things that people are doing to stop bullying we know: There are programs being set up in schools across the province There are several government-funded websites and resources for children, youth and adults The Alberta Prevention of Bullying Youth Committee goes out and does school and community presentations (like this one) Discussion: What are some of the things your school (or club/community) does to help stop bullying? (allow them 4 minutes to give you answers about the programs in place) During this presentation, it’s important to remember those programs and its important for you to think of new ways that you could help stop bullying. Remember everyone needs to work together to stop bullying— that means you, too!

3 What Do You Think Bullying Is?
Open Discussion … Give Examples ! Discussion: Ask the audience for some suggestions as to what they think bullying is (allow 3 minutes for examples/scenarios/general comments) Examples: When someone calls another person a name that isn’t nice (verbal) When someone calls you a name other than your given name, and is trying to hurt your feelings (verbal) When someone steals another person’s things (physical) When someone turns an argument into a physical fight (physical) When a person is left out of an activity on purpose (social) When someone is spreading rumors about someone else (social) When someone sends a hate or a hate message over the internet or MSN (cyber) When someone threatens another person over the internet (cyber) When someone sends a mean message to another person’s cell phone (cyber)

4 What Do You Think Bullying Is?
A hurtful act that is done on purpose When someone is rude or mean on purpose more than once When one person feels more important than another person Bullying has three main parts: It is on purpose (intentionality) It has happened more than once (repetition) One person feels more important than the other (imbalance of power) Bullying is about relationships, not about “misbehaving.” When someone bullies another person, it has to do with how they are able to talk to each other and it’s important to find ways to communicate without being hurtful or mean. When someone bullies you, make sure you speak up and let them know it’s hurtful and that you are not okay with it. When someone bullies another person, it’s not about the person who’s getting bullied and how are they are different, it’s about the bullies themselves. Bullies try to find ways to put other people down so the bully can feel better about who they are. Bullies often need our help, too.

5 What Do Bullies Look Like?
Any one of us !!!!! Bullies can be anyone! The way a person looks does not matter when it comes to bullying. Bullies come in all shapes and about half of the students that are known “bullies” are actually seen as more popular and more powerful than others. Discussion: What are some ways people bully without using their fists? It’s important to remember these key facts: Bullies like attention, and like having power over others You don’t need to just be hurtful physically to be a bully Sometimes, we need to try to help bullies. Some bullies are mean because they need help and don’t know how to act properly.

6 What Do You Know About Bullying?
Bullying occurs every 7 minutes on the playground (that’s a lot!) A huge majority of students aged 8-11 say bullying happens at their school (74% of students!) Among boys, bullying is usually physical and involves hitting Bullying occurs on average every 7 minutes on the playground. (Craig & Pepler 1997) (activity idea – from this point forward, every 7 minutes inform the audience the time has passed, and continue until the end of the presentation. At the end total up how many times you did this, and that’s how many bullying episodes occurred during that time.) Seventy-four per cent of 8 to 11-year-old students said teasing and bullying occur at their schools. (Talking With Kids About Tough Issues: A National Survey of Parents and Kids, Kaiser Family Foundation and Nickelodeon, 2001) Bystanders are present 85% of the time bullying occurs. (Craig & Pepler 1997) Discussion: Who can remind everyone what a bystander is? A bystander is a person or group of people who witness or watch the act of bullying. They are the “witnesses.” Bystanders are some of the most important people in stopping acts of bullying. If you see bullying happen you should get involved by being a friend to the person who was being bullied or getting an adult to help. It’s important for bystanders to send the message that bullying is not okay, so even if you aren’t involved, speak up and say you don’t think it’s all right, and you don’t want to see bullying in your school or community. It’s important to remember to never physically fight a bully. Remember that getting help from an adult is the best way to help the person who’s getting bullied.

7 What Do You Know About Bullying?
Each bullying episode lasts about 37 seconds (it can feel a lot longer) More than half of students report being bullied mentally, emotionally or physically (77%!) Among girls, bullying is sneakier and can involve gossiping or rumors Each bullying episode lasts about 37 seconds. (Craig & Pepler 1997) When you are actually the person being bullied, it can feel like it goes on forever. When someone gets in your face and tries to bully you, it’s important to stay calm and keep your cool. The best solution you can find is to seek help as soon as possible. In a recent study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. And 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (strong) reactions to the abuse. (National Institutes of Health, the biomedical research arm of the United States federal government Girls are better known to bully in a different way, but that doesn’t mean boys don’t bully this way. It’s bullying that doesn’t involve physically hitting someone. It’s called “social bullying” which is like sneaky bullying. It can be things like when one person spreads a rumour about another person, or not letting someone join in a game or activity because the bully is trying to be mean or hurtful.

8 What Do You Know About Bullying?
20-25% of students who are bullied regularly said that bullying is the reason for missing school Bullying is not a crime… But bullying can lead to serious and criminal acts such as: dropping out of school destroying property, stealing, or carrying a weapon drug and alcohol use, smoking 20-25% of frequently victimized students report bullying as the reason for missing school (Rigby, 2003). Students who bully others are more likely to use alcohol and drugs (Pepler et. al, 2002), and are at risk later for criminality. For example, 60% of boys who bully others in elementary school had criminal records by age 24 (Olweus, 1991). Despite the usual thought that victims of bullies have unusual physical traits, research does not support this belief (Olweus, 1991). Anyone can be the victim of a bully, but some children seem to be victimized more than others. In general, children who become victims of bullying tend to: - be shy and quiet - lack friends and social support at school be often not confident in their physical abilities (Suderman, Jaffe & Schieck, 1996) The province of Alberta has started a bullying prevention strategy which aims to raise awareness of bullying and change attitudes and behaviours. In the world, many countries are now including in their education ways to deal with bullies not only in school-aged children, but also in the workplace.

9 What’s True And What’s False
Being bullied is good for you. It makes you a stronger person and it builds character. It doesn’t do any real harm. False > Being bullied is never good for you, and it doesn’t make you stronger. Being bullied can be very painful and is not something that’s easy to forget. Teachers know how to handle bullies. It’s their job to know. False > Most of the bullying that happens doesn’t happen in front of teachers for a reason. Bullies make sure when they are bullying other people teachers aren’t around. Discussion: Ask the question (green part) first and wait for 1 or 2 audience members to answer, then show the fact. Being bullied is good for you. It makes you a stronger person and builds character. It doesn’t do any real harm. This myth can be dangerous! It suggests that the victims are to blame for not standing up for themselves. Bullies have power over their victims and when someone is bullied, typically they feel embarrassed or ashamed. Being bullied doesn’t build any character or strengthen who you are. It leaves big scars and can be painful for a very long time. Teachers know how to handle bullies. It’s their job to know. Teachers need support and training, too. Schools need to have programs in place that can help teachers with making strategies in their classrooms that have a way of dealing with bullying situations. It’s also important for teachers to have a strong support from other staff such as other teachers and principals. Even though many schools have bullying prevention rules in place, communities are slow to recognize that bullying can – and does – happen at school and in the classroom. 75% of teachers think they always intervene in bullying episode 25% of students say teachers intervene Observations showed teachers intervened in 14% of episodes in the classroom and 4% of episodes on school grounds Pepler, D J and Craig, W M (2000) Making a difference in bullying.  LaMarsh Research Report # 60. York University, Toronto.

10 What’s True And What’s False
Reporting bullying is important. Even if I’m not involved in the problem, I should still try and help the person being bullied, or get an adult to help. True > Even if you don’t know the person being bullied, and you aren’t really involved, its important to get help for the victim, or just be a friend yourself. If I tell someone, it will just get worse. He’ll hurt me more and just pick on me more. False > Research shows that when an adult or a bystander gets involved, bullying can stop. Reporting bullying is important. Even if I’m not involved in the problem, I should still try and help the person getting bullied, or get an adult to help It’s good to try and write down exactly what happened after you witness someone being bullied. Important things to know are: -Who was being bullied -Who was bullying them -Where and when it happened and -What exactly happened Bystanders have the power. Stand up and stop bullying! If I tell someone, it will just get worse. He’ll hurt me more and just pick on me more. You’ve seen the facts. Bullying usually stops when someone speaks up for the victim. Everyone has a role to play when it comes to bullying, and to make sure we stop bullying it’s important everyone stands up and shows that bullying is wrong.

11 Four Most Common Types Of Bullying
Physical Physical bullying can be anything from pushing someone in line to hitting or chasing someone. It also includes destroying someone else’s property. Verbal Verbal bullying is when a person uses mean or hurtful words to make people feel bad about themselves. Is using any kind of name for a person that is not that person’s given name and is meant to hurt that person. Other forms of verbal bullying include teasing, ridicule, or threatening remarks. These remarks can be made in person or over the telephone. Verbal bullying includes: -Racial slurs (calling someone a name because of the color of their skin or their background) -Comments on the way someone looks -saying rude comments to someone about what they wear Hurtful language can lead to a poorly developed self image. (When someone makes fun of another person, it can make the victim feel badly about themselves and lead to more serious problems as they grow up.) An example of Verbal Bullying: (Try to come up with your own example but use this one if needed) Allie was walking in the mall one day picking up her new dress for the first day of grade 6, when Allie heard two girls saying “Allie, your mom is so poor you cant afford anything in this mall! You should just go home, new clothes wont make you look any less ugly!” Allie looked at the girls and she had tears in her eyes. Physical bullying is a conflict resulting in a physical confrontation (a fight). This can be incredibly dangerous because it removes personal safety, and as people get older, they can be charged with a crime. An example of Physical Bullying: (Try to come up with your own example but use this one if needed) The bell rang and the boys ran off to join the line up to re-enter the school. Tim scored a touchdown at recess, but the boys he scored against said, “No! That didn’t count.” “What?” demanded Tim, holding his arms wide, the football in one hand. “Get him!” shouted Sam. Sam and Joel rushed at Tim, knocking him over. Joel grabbed the football and threw it at Tim’s head. The ball bounced away. “Ow!” said Tim. “That hurt. You hit my head!” Sam grabbed the ball, and standing over Tim, did it again – he threw the ball with all his force at Tim’s head.

12 Four Most Common Types Of Bullying
Cyber Using the internet, , or instant messaging (like MSN) to send rude comments, harass someone or threaten someone. Social When you ignore someone or exclude them on purpose to be hurtful or mean. Can also include cruel rumors and ruining friendships. Social bullying is most common among girls. An example of CyberBullying: (Try to come up with your own example but use this one if needed) Jeremy was looking through web pages on his favorite site. As Jeremy surfed he came across one site that had his picture one it. As Jeremy began looking at the site he started to read the comments about his picture, “This kid is so stupid. He’s no good at ANY Sports and he smells REALLY BAD.” Jeremy then saw that someone had taken a picture of him walking his dog with their camera phone and posted it on the website. Cyber bullying can be especially hurtful because of how many people use the internet. The web has thousands of people who surf through it everyday, and is there for anyone to use, no matter what their age is. When someone is bullied online it affects a much larger group of people. An example of Social Bullying: (Try to come up with your own example but use this one if needed) “She’s always wearing those pukey sandals. Ooo, here she comes now. Don’t look at her,” said Melanie. The group of grade 5 girls stood in a tight circle and kept their backs to Sandy as she walked by, alone. All Sandy heard when she walked by was, “Sandy” and a lot of laughter. Social bullying is usually associated with girls. There are many different ways to social bully. Social bullying are things like hurtful gestures, “backstabbing,” (doing sneaky things behind someone's back to hurt them) rumors, leaving someone out on purpose , and is usually done as sneakily as possible. When someone is being socially bullied, it can often lead to problems with trust and can make it difficult for that person to have a good trusting relationship for a period after.

13 How Can You Tell If Someone Is Being Bullied?
Activity…two minute brainstorm. Discussion: Ask participants to separate into small groups of 3-5 to share and write down as many signs as they can in two minutes that may be a clue that someone is being bullied. (This is an activity appropriate for older students) Some signs are: Sadness Losing important items (i.e. money) Physical injuries (i.e. bruises) Wants to be alone a lot Doesn’t want to join in Grades dropping Nervous about coming to school/going certain places Doesn’t care about their appearance or what they look like Victims are more likely to report headaches and stomachaches than non-victims of bullying (Due et. al, 2005; Williams, et. al, 1996). People who are victims of bullying are more likely to report anxiety and depressive symptoms than those not involved in bullying (Due et al, 2005; Kaltiala-Heino et al, 1999) People who bully or are victimized may be at greatest risk for physical health problems. If you think someone you know is being bullied, it would be a good idea to keep your eyes open for some of these signs. When someone is showing some of the signs, it’s best to be their friend. Make sure they know they have someone to talk to. If you see serious signs (cuts, serious bruises) it’s important to tell an adult and make sure you get help as quickly as possible

14 What Can You Do If You Are Being Bullied?
Be confident! Find a Friend Don’t Fight back Keep your belongings at home or out of sight Bullying is NOT a normal part of growing up. It is never okay and can be very hurtful, even after a long time. Be confident. Sometimes it’s hard to feel good about yourself, but it’s important to remember that bullies pick victims who appear to already have low self-esteem. By showing that you’re confident, bullies will know you’re not an easy target and wont want to get involved with you. Fighting back can lead to making the problem worse. By fighting back, you switch roles with the bully. It’s important to stand up for yourself, but remember if a bully hits you, hitting him back starts a fight. When bullying turns physical you need to seek help immediately. Bullies will sometimes use theft or vandalism to hurt their victims. Keep important items like cell phones, iPods, money, etc. at home or out of sight.

15 What Can You Do If You Are Being Bullied
Tell an adult Keep notes Stand up for yourself Stay away from bullies and the places you think you might get bullied Keep talking to adults until someone listens to you. You should keep telling someone you trust that you’re being bullied until someone listens and does something about it. You might have to go to more than one person for help, but at least you’re getting the help you need. Writing down certain key things about what happened can help if you need to seek the help of an adult or the police. After you witness an incident or are bullied yourself, write down who did it, who saw it, when and where it happened, and what the bullying was about. Taking a stand for yourself shows the bully he doesn’t scare you. You can take a stand to bullies without fighting back. Simply showing that you are the “bigger person” will show the bully that they have no power over you. Situations that lead to bullying are best to avoid. If you usually get bullied in a certain place (like a bathroom, or on a route home from school), avoid those places, or try a new route.

16 What’s The Difference? Tattling Purpose is getting someone in trouble
Can handle situation by yourself Issue is unimportant Harmless situation psychologically Behaviour is accidental Telling Purpose is to keep people safe Need help from an adult to solve Issue is important Harmful or dangerous situation physically or emotionally Behaviour is on purpose Note: It is important to help youth and children understand the difference between telling and tattling or ratting. The above chart might help explain it to them. Tattling or ratting is NOT the same as talking about problems with bullying. Tattling is used to be hurtful. Dealing with bullying can be difficult. It is important that victims understand that they are not the problem - the bully and his/her behavior is. You have the right to feel safe. Don’t be afraid to tell people you trust. Adults can help more than you think. They have things available to them that you don’t and have some experience in dealing with bullies. Keep looking until you find an adult that will listen and help you. Remember that reporting bullying, even if you just see it, is important. You can save a lot of pain and anxiety for another person in your community or school!

17 Why Don’t People Tell? They are afraid They are ashamed or embarrassed
They are not sure if they can get help They have told before and have not been helped There are different reasons why people don’t tell: They are ashamed, afraid, or embarrassed. Some people feel so badly about what is happening to them, they don’t want to share it with anyone. Some are afraid that telling is just tattling and if they do it, it will only get worse. They need to understand that seeking help can have good results. Keep telling until someone is willing to help and get involved. People are unsure of adults’ ability to help or have told before and have not been helped. Some have told before and the bullying only got worse so they aren’t willing to open up again. We need to encourage everyone to tell someone whom they trust what is happening, and to keep asking for help until someone listens. Even if you are just a bystander, you need to know your role is key and you still need to report what you witness. When reporting an incident of bullying, it’s important to remember the facts. Don’t be afraid to record important things about the incident soon after it happens.

18 What Should I Tell Others?
What happened to you and what you did Who bullied you and who saw it happen Where it happened and how often it happened Write down everything What happened to you and what you did Who bullied you and who saw it happen Where it happened and how often it happened Write down everything that happened to you. Don't forget to write about things that other people and adults did for you. Get help. * If you are scared, then take a friend along. Tell an adult when the bully is not around. If you can't tell them in person, then write a note about any scrapes or bruises and show it to a grown-up. Your personal safety is as important as it gets. If bullying has turned into physical violence, you need to get help from parents, teachers, police or other adults you trust—do what you need to do. You owe it to yourself to stay in one piece. You have important things to finish in your life. * Often—after things get so far out of hand that there’s just no way to hide the physical signs of bullying—parents can’t understand why they didn’t know about it. (“Why didn’t you tell me?”) They’re your parents. They love you, even if some of them aren’t so good at expressing it. They want to know. “B-Free” Alberta Prevention of Bullying Youth Committee

19 What Have I Done Wrong? Being bullied is NOT the victim’s fault
You are NOT ALONE. There are lots of victims of bullying Bullying is learned from others Don't blame yourself Some people haven't learned how to treat each other with respect and caring Have self confidence! People who bully use “differences” to make victims feel badly about themselves, such as, “You’re ugly/stupid” etc. as an excuse for their bad behaviour. It's not the “difference” in the victim that's the problem - it's the people who bully who have the problem because they are afraid, jealous, envious, cruel, angry, insecure, and/or unhappy. Remember, it’s our “differences” that makes each of us special and unique. You should be proud of who you are. Don’t let others take that away from you. Don’t let others have that power over you. There is no need to feel guilty. No one asks to be bullied. When bullies choose a victim, it’s not actually for the reasons the bully seem to make it about. Bullies will find a problem with anyone and try use it to be hurtful no matter what the problem is. So remember, just because a bully calls you a name, or makes you feel bad, it’s not actually about you – it’s about them.

20 What Have I Done Wrong? Don’t Blame Yourself!
Bullying is not the victim’s fault Don’t Blame Yourself! It’s a very important message and it needs to be remembered. We need to remind everyone in our communities and schools that BULLYING needs to stop, and everyone needs to be involved. It’s important to remember BULLYING IS NOT THE VICTIM’S FAULT – and victims need to seek help in whatever way they can.

21 The Bystander When someone steps in, more than half the time bullying stops within 10 seconds (57% of the time) Bystanders are present almost all of the time when bullying occurs (85% of the time) We know that bystanders are present 85% of the time when bullying occurs (Atlas and Pepler, 1997, Craig and Pepler, 1997). Bullying stops in less than 10 seconds 57% of the time when peers intervene for the victim (Pepler et al., 1997). A bystander is a person or group of people who witness or watch the act of bullying. They are the “witnesses.” Bystanders are some of the most important people in stopping acts of bullying. If you see bullying happen you should get involved by being a friend to the person who was being bullied or getting an adult to help. Bystanders are important in stopping acts of bullying. More than half the time if a witness or “bystander” stands up for the victim, the bullying will stop within 10 seconds! (Craig & Pepler 1997) (activity: count to 10 with the audience, and say “that’s how quick it can stop !”) Bystanders need to send out the message that bullying is not ok. Bystanders are the key to stopping bullying in most cases. It is important for bystanders to speak up for victims of bullying and to show that they don’t like it, even a simple thing like not participating in acts of bullying or simply saying “stop bullying” can help.

22 What Bystanders Can Do To Help
Bystanders have the Power to Stop Bullying! Speak up Recognize bullying – it’s not just physical Walk away and go get help Encourage bystanders to get involved as a group. Make your feelings known that bullying is not okay Help the victim Don’t fight the bully Bystanders have the power to stop bullying! Speak up. Tell the bully that their behavior is unacceptable and that you won't get involved. You have an opinion, too, and it matters more than you think. Recognize bullying—it's not just physical. It can be social, verbal and cyber as well. Walk away and go get help. By standing around and watching, you encourage the bully. Encourage bystanders to get involved as a group. Band together and walk away. Be better than the bully thinks you are. Show them you’re not so easily entertained. Help the victim. Put yourself in their shoes. Wouldn’t you want someone to help you if you were being picked on? Don’t fight the bully. It's not safe, and it will just make things worse. You may think that as long as you're not the one bullying others that you're not hurting anyone, but that's not true. When you just stand back and watch, you are giving people who bully an audience which is what they want. Discussion: Open the floor to discuss ways bystanders can be involved. Discuss the importance of bystander involvement and focus on the idea that “bystanders are the key to stopping bullying.”

23 What Bystanders Can Do To Help
More than two-thirds of students (67.3%) indicated that when someone is being bullied it bothers them a lot. It has been found that victims: have poorer self-esteem and higher levels of depression have anxiety, tension, and worry feel lonely and rejected by peers The hurt from being bullied can last a lifetime. Pop can demo; 2 pop cans different in color. Crush one can as if you are crushing its self esteem, explain this is what it is like to be called names. Then try to pull the can back into its original shape, refer to the cans as people and how if they have been bullied that it can affect them for life and that it may not be possible to be as healthy as they would have been if the bullying didn’t occur. Compare the two pop cans two each other, ask the audience which one looks healthier and which one they would rather be. More than two-thirds of students (67.3%) indicated that when someone is being bullied it bothers them a lot/quite a bit. (ACCOUNTABILITY AND REPORTING ALBERTA EDUCATION - PREVENTION OF BULLYING STRATEGY STAGE 4 SUMMATIVE EVALUATION – BASELINE DATA DRAFT REPORT – June 2007) Boyce (2004) found that merely witnessing bullying can lead to distress for children and youth. Research states that individuals who are both bullied by others and bullies themselves (bully victims), are an especially high risk group as they suffer the consequences associated with both roles. Wolke et. al (2000) found that behaviour problems were less pronounced in bully victims than in bullies. (1) Bullying has serious consequences for victims, bullies, bystanders and everyone else in our communities and schools. (2) Being bullied is embarrassing. (3) Being bullied is scary. (4) Bullying happens a lot (once every seven minutes in schools). (5) The hurt from being bullied can last a lifetime. (6) Many people who bully often when they are young get in trouble with the police when they are older. (7) Bullying can kill. (8) Bullying hurts EVERYONE!

24 What Bystanders Can Do To Help
Key Messages: Don't fight the bully Walk up to and away with the victim Don't join in Don't give bullies an audience Discussion: Who can explain what empathy is? Empathy is when people put themselves in someone else’s shoes, and tries to understand what that person is feeling. Don’t turn the bully into a victim. Turning into a bully doesn’t solve the problem. Fighting the bully simply changes who’s bullying who, so remember, have empathy for them, too. Change who has the power in a positive way. Be the bigger person and take control of the situation. Show that through self-confidence and by handling the situation calmly and maturely. As a bystander, IT IS KEY to remember that YOU have the power. You can make a difference by simply not providing an audience!

25 What Bystanders Can Do To Help
Key Messages : Be a friend Believe the victim Tell someone Find help Don't stand by, stand up! Be a friend To the kid being bullied. Ask them to tell a grown-up. Go with them if they're scared. Believe the kid About being bullied and what they say – Make sure you show them you care and notice how they are feeling. Tell someone If you see a kid being bullied. Telling is not tattling! If you're scared of the people who are bullying then don't let them know you told. Find help From teachers, parents, friends or other grown-ups you trust. Don't stand back Stand up. If you're standing around watching, you're part of the problem, not the solution. Don't fight the bully It's not safe. Go and tell an adult instead. Walk up to and away with the victim Without looking at the people who are bullying others. Don't make them feel important by paying attention to them. When you ignore bullies, you take away their power. Don't join in Don't call kids names or pick on them. People who bully try to get other kids to join in. Don't give bullies an audience People who bully like to look tough in front of others, so they almost always have an audience when they are being mean. Most of the time the bullying will end if someone like you steps in to stop it.

26 What Can You Do If You Are Bullying Others?
Hurting other people doesn’t make you important You can be a leader without hurting someone People who bully often end up in trouble with the law Talk to someone you trust in person Bullying shows that you have problems with yourself Hurting other people doesn't make you important, it just makes you mean. Think about other ways that you can be a leader without hurting people, like getting involved in sports, school groups and community activities. People who bully often end up in gangs or have other serious problems with the law when they're older. Bullying can often lead to severe criminal acts, and put someone in trouble with the law, or even in prison. There's nothing good about bullying. Those who bully are at risk for later criminality. For example, 60% of boys who bully others in elementary school had criminal records by age 24 (Olweus, 1991). If you need help or advice, talk to someone you trust in person. If you don't have someone like this in your life, you can go to for help, support, and ideas on dealing with bullying. Bullies are people who have a great ability at being confident and getting people to follow and look up to them. Use it in a positive way – you can still be popular, but this way you can be well liked too.

27 Why Do People Bully? It’s about power and control
It’s about relationships It has been learned from others It’s a lack of communication Some people bully to make themselves feel better because they get bullied themselves. It’s a way for them to feel powerful after being bullied which made them feel hurt or ashamed. They do not have empathy for people. They are used to negative relationships between themselves and others, and so bullying happens when the bully meet new people or sees someone different. They learned to bully from other people who either bullied them or whom they saw bullying others. They don’t know how to get along any other way. Bullying makes them feel powerful and well-liked, and they don’t know how to make friends any other way. Why some kids don’t bully They feel bullying is wrong. They have a high level of empathy. They have social skills that enable them to get what they want without resorting to bullying. They are occupied and enjoying what they are doing. They feel they are successful. They see the role they fill as being inconsistent with hurting others. They have been exposed repeatedly to positive role models. They have enjoyed positive experiences in the home and generally feel positive toward others. They feel obliged to accept the rules of the school which indicate that bullying is not acceptable. Remember bullies typically are not all they appear to be – remind yourself they're people with problems too – and it may open a door to communication and solving the root of the problem.

28 Bullies Can Be Victims, Too
Even though people who bully cause a great deal of pain for others, they need help too. Just like bullying is learned behavior, we have to teach others how not to bully. Empathy for everyone is important. Show that you care for everyone, including the bully. Research shows that those who bully and are bullied appear to be at the greatest risk of experiencing the following: loneliness; trouble making friends; lack of success in school and involvement in problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking. (Addressing the Problem of Juvenile Bullying, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, 2001) If you or someone you know needs help, tell an adult you know and trust. It is hard to solve such problems on your own. Children and youth need to be reassured that it is not their fault that they are being bullied and that they have the right to feel safe and secure. Reinforce the message to youth that telling isn’t tattling and that adults can do things to get the bullying stopped. Its important for children and youth to remember that whether victim, bystander or bully we all have the power to change the situation. Stand up and be supportive of others! Show bullies that you do care, and that you want to be their friend as well. Bullies hurt others because they don’t have the skills to make friends that most people do. By being a friend to a bully you can show him/her there are ways to be liked and ways to get along without being in control of other people.

29 Cyberbullying Never give out or share personal stuff. This includes your name, the names of friends or family, your address, phone number and school name Be polite to others online just as you would offline Never send a message to others when you are angry Cyberbullying is dangerous and affects lots of people. The internet is available to anyone. It can lead to more serious issues Never give out or share personal information, including your name, the names of friends or family, your address, phone number and school name. Personal info also includes pictures of yourself and your address. Never tell anyone your passwords. Be polite to others online just as you would offline. If someone treats you rudely, don’t respond. Online bullies are just like offline ones — they WANT you to answer. Don't give them the satisfaction. Never send a message to others when you are angry. Wait until you’ve had time to calm down and think. Once you've sent a message, it is nearly impossible to undo the damage. From: “B-Free,” Alberta Prevention of Bullying Youth Committee The internet allows anyone to be anyone and do anything. Since we never really know who we are talking to on the internet it’s important to treat everyone you don’t know in person like a stranger. Things you wouldn’t normally tell to people you don’t know are very often shared on the internet. We need to start recognizing that the internet can be a great tool, but it can also be dangerous when we aren’t careful how we use it or how we act when we are online. More than two thirds (69%) of students have heard of incidents of cyberbullying, about one quarter (21%) have been harassed several times, and one quarter (25%) have admitted to participating in cyberbullying at least once. Beran, T., and Li, Q. Is cyber-harassment a significant problem? A report on children’s experiences

30 Cyberbullying Do not erase or delete messages from cyber bullies
If the cyberbullying includes physical threats, tell the police If you see someone bully another person online, tell them you don’t think it’s cool – show your support and support the victim Do not erase or delete messages from cyberbullies. You don't have to read it, but keep it. It’s your evidence. The police and your ISP (internet service provider), and/or your telephone company can use these messages to help you. Another way to deal with cyberbullies is to just to delete your current accounts, cell phone/pager accounts and set up new ones. If the cyberbullying includes physical threats, tell the police. If you see someone bully another person online, tell them you don’t think it’s cool or funny. You can be a bystander even when you’re online, so it’s still important to support the victim and be a friend. If you are being cyberbullied the same rules apply – BE CALM. It’s important to remember that most people who bully online lack the courage to do it in person, so make an example of them – let them know (without bullying them back) that bullying someone online is disrespectful not only to the victim but every other user on the web. Cyberbullies offend everyone. If you are online and see it happening let the bully know that even though you are not the victim, it offends you equally as much.

31 This is a great website where you can go to learn about bullying and ways to stop it. It has some great information and cool things like links to other websites about bullying, ways to express yourself or get help with bullying, and an interactive game!

32 This website was designed by youth for youth. It was made to show the personal feeling that a journal provides. The site has a lot of great options that allow you to make it your own. The very top of the website has our help hotline which is manned 24 hours a day by trained counselors and people who are willing to listen and help you deal with your situations about bullying. You can also read personal stories from celebrities, our youth committee and other users of the website. You can also share your own stories. Remember, you’re not alone.

33 Bullying Helpline In 2006, the Government of Alberta started a Bullying Helpline. This line is toll free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week and is staffed by trained counselors. Anyone who is struggling with bullying — children, youth and parents — can call the line and receive help. Don’t be afraid to call, because we’re here to help.

34 After This Presentation Is Over Then What?
Be the change you want to see in your school and community After this presentation is over, then what? Walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk. Ghandi said, “BE the change you want to see in the world.” So… BE THE CHANGE in your school and community! One quote from each committee member and one challenge. An example of quote & challenge Dan’s Challenge : “I challenge everyone here to go out into your homes, your schools and your communities and attempt to make a difference. By everyone doing one part, we will see a change. It is my mission to change the world, and I will achieve that. Be a part of the solution, don’t stand by. Stand up and stop bullying.”

35 I believe in a bullyfree Bullying is how you act, world - Dan
make your own recovery the first priority in your life - Sam Save the day, walk away - Simon We do not inherit our world from our ancestors. We borrow it from our children! (Chief Seattle) - Dave Individuality is the only real treasure anyone needs to search for, the search for you - Dylan I believe in a bullyfree world - Dan Bullying is how you act, not who you are - Benny Bullying is not a community, or a school problem - it is a society problem and it's up to all of us to fix it - Dakotah If it is to be, it is up to me - Dustin Quote wall – Quotes from all our youth committee members Discussion: If you could have a quote on this wall, what would it be? And why? (Give two minutes to discuss what their quotes would be and why, then pick two people who are willing to share their quotes and have them explain why they chose those quotes.) If you can change one person’s thought about bullying, we can make a difference in the world - Cathy Love yourself and others will follow - Emily Being predictable means being as ignorant as you were yesterday – Amy

36 Contacts Family Violence Prevention, Bullying and Youth Strategies Division Alberta Children and Youth Services  Cross Ministry Services Branch Alberta Education Government Toll Free:

37 Thanks For Having us !


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