1. Chapter 14: Rebuilding: Family Life Following Divorce

2. Aftermath of Divorce: Transitions
Binuclear Family
Separate households that form after separation or divorce
Two subsystems
Maternal
Paternal
Replace old patterns of interaction with new
Replace existing family boundaries with new ones

3. Former Spouse Relationships
Perfect Pals
Divorced parents who remain friends
Children benefit from shared parenting and decision making
Sometimes maintain extended family relationships

4. Former Spouse Relationships
Cooperative Colleagues
Not friends but able to cooperate
Work to keep conflicts at a minimum
Shared parenting becomes a priority
Will consult counselors to help children

5. Former Spouse Relationships
Angry Associates
Anger is integral part of the relationship
Harbor feelings of resentment, bitterness
Children are caught in the middle of parents’ battles
Effective parenting is not a goal for these parents

6. Former Spouse Relationships
Fiery Foes
Incapable of cooperating
Relationship is marked by litigation
Unable to remember anything positive about the marriage
Blame each other for every problem associated with the marriage

7. Former Spouse Relationships
Dissolved Duos
Break off any contact
One partner just disappears
Mother left with the burdens of reorganizing the family
In rare cases, non-custodial parent may kidnap children

8. How Divorce Affects Children and Adolescents
Externalizing difficulties
Children may exhibit the following:
Aggressive misbehaviors
Noncompliance
Disobedience
Delinquency
Increased absences from school
Increased aggressiveness

9. How Divorce Affects Children and Adolescents
Internalizing Difficulties
Results in emotional problems such as:
Worry
Feelings of unhappiness
Anxiety
Depression
Distress
Guilt
Poor self concept
Less intimacy with parents

10. How Divorce Affects Children and Adolescents
Cognitive Deficits and Academic Difficulties
Children who experience their parent’s divorce have more difficulty in the classroom
Inability to concentrate in school
Negative effects on their ability to meet scholastic expectations
May affect ability to interact with teachers and peers

11. Table 14.1: Children’s Reaction to Divorce by Developmental Stage

12. Children’s and Adolescents Adaptation
Interparental Conflict
Will account for more negative outcomes in children
Separation from attachment figure
May trigger difficulties in interpersonal relationships – friendships and love relationships

13. Children’s and Adolescents Adaptation
Temporal influences
Passage of time may play a role in children’s long-term adjustment
Child’s age at time of divorce affects overall adjustment

14. Figure 14.1: in the textbook is Custodial Mothers, by Race

15. Relationship Between Custodial Parent and Child
Custodial Parents’ Behavior Changes
Less frequent display of affection
Ability to communicate declines
Parenting may be more negative, less consistent
Children assume household responsibilities
Children exhibit greater independence

16. Relationship Between Noncustodial Parent and Child
Success or failure of relationship depends on
Frequency of visitation
Quality of interaction

17. Relationship Between Noncustodial Parent and Child
Remarriage of parent
Children feel stress
Have to face more adjustments
Visitation may decrease

18. Relationship Between Noncustodial Parent and Child
Family Economics
Economic hardship is post-divorce for many families
Child support is rarely sufficient to meet the living expenses of mother and children

19. Co-Parenting in Binuclear Families
Factors Impacting Parenting post divorce
Parents’ education level
Income level
Time elapsed since divorce
Remarriage of on or both parents
Who initiated the divorce
The legal process of the divorce

20. Father-Child Relationships Following Divorce
Children who experience a warm post-divorce relationship with their fathers have
Higher self esteem
Fewer behavioral problems
Better social skills
Better cognitive skills
Better academic skills

21. Father-Child Relationships Following Divorce
Noncustodial fathers tend to be
More permissive
A recreational, companion father
Less sensitive to children’s emotional needs
Less supportive in times of crisis and stress
Overwhelmed with the parenting role especially with infants and pre-school children

22. Father-Child Relationships Following Divorce
Overall, divorced fathers
Spend more time with sons than daughters
Are less involved with older children than younger children
Are more involved with their first born than their later born children
Stay involved with infants born prematurely
Stay involved with children with difficult temperaments

23. Father-Child Relationships Following Divorce
Ways in which mothers discourage children’s contact with noncustodial fathers
Children not ready when father comes to pick them up
Engage in conflicts at time of pick up
Criticize noncustodial father in front of children
Increase geographical distance
Take fathers back and forth to court

24. Challenges for Single Parents
Changes in Household Finances
A significant number of households with children headed by mothers live in poverty
Changes in Residence
Because of changes in finance family no longer able to live in pre-divorce home
Changes in Boundaries
Once shared parenting roles now are covered independently by each parent

25. Challenges for Single Parents
Changes in the emotional environment
Divorce hurts all parties involved
Mothers have to assume all authority and responsibility
Fathers have difficulty managing the emotional climate

26. Challenges for Single Parents
Dating
Many newly single individuals rush into dating
Dating fills void of loss of family
Dating helps return to normalcy
50% will remarry within three years

27. Remarriage
Remarriage – when one or both of the spouses have been previously married
Early remarriage – refers to early stages of the new relationship
Stepfamily – newly merged family

28. Remarriage
Middle remarriage: 3–5 years into the new relationship, family becomes more cohesive
Late remarriage: 6–10 years after the remarriage

29. Remarriage Stability 60% of remarriages end in divorce
Couples do not understand identity of step family
There is a breakdown in commitment, cohesion, and communication

30. Step Families Today
Blended families – term used to soften negative connotations of step family
Biological mother/stepfather
Biological father/stepmother
Complex stepfamily
Joint biological-stepfamily

31. Table 14.2: Types of Stepfamilies

32. Table 14.3: The Ways that Stepfamilies and Nuclear Families Differ

33. Children in Stepfamily Households
Siblings - share the same two biological parents
Stepsiblings - not biologically related but parents are married to one another
Half-siblings - share one biological child
Mutual child - child is born to remarried couple
Residential stepchildren - live in remarried couples’ household majority of time
Nonresidential stepchildren - live in the household less than half time

34. Stepfamily Characteristics
Loss of parent or partner
Adults grieve losses of partner, the marital relationship, dreams, and those associated with new “everythings”
Children grieve losses of parent, stability, parent’s accessibility, and fantasy family

35. More Stepfamily Characteristics
Children are members of two or more households
Family boundaries are ambiguous
Family roles are ambiguous
Disparity of individual, marital and family life cycles
Several loyalty conflicts
Society promotes widespread negative connotation of stepfamilies
Experience more stress than nuclear families

36. Stepfamily Challenges
Challenges for Adults
Financial difficulties
Establishing discipline
Bonding as a couple
Grieving past losses

37. Stepfamily Challenges
Challenges for Children
Loss of power and control
Guilt
Loyalty conflicts
Anger
Fear

38. Successful Stepfamily Living
Key characteristics of families who successfully adapt to the changes of divorce and remarriage
Develop realistic expectations
Allow time for mourning
Couples nurture a strong relationship
Accept that becoming a stepparent takes time

39. Successful Stepfamily Living
Stepparents develop the role of disciplinarian
Develop a stepfamily history
Work cooperatively with the absent parent