1. Dealing With Put-Downs
Second Step, Lesson 7

2. KNOW Definitions: Bully Put-Downs Ostracize
Four strategies for dealing with put downs

3. UNDERSTAND
Put-downs serve to belittle and psychologically hurt people.
Bullies are people who consistently harass others; the are often victims as well as victimizers
Effectively dealing with put-downs and other bullying behavior involves ignoring the remarks, telling the bully to stop, and/or getting help.

4. DO At the end of this lesson, you should be able to:
Display coping skills for dealing with put-downs and other bullying behavior
Provide reasons why some people put down and bully others.

5. Key Definitions
Bully: Someone who victimizes others through physical or psychological (mental) means.
Put-downs: Words meant to humiliate or snub someone.
Ostracize: To shun as a group.

6. Why are we talking about this?
Put-downs are one form of bullying behavior.
Though some put-downs are used in a playful way, if the person doing the kidding is not sensitive to the feelings of the other person, results can be harmful.
Bullying can be a serious problem on entrance and sometimes throughout junior high.

7. Why are we talking about this?
Bullies are of either gender.
Male bullies often use put-downs and are much more likely to use physical violence or contact to bully others (ex: pushing, “bumping” in hallway, book-checking, kicking books, etc.)
Female bullies tend to be more subtle by using psychological (mental) violence to put down, shun, or otherwise ostrasize their victims.

8. You are encouraged to…
If you are being put-down, or if you witness another being put-down, this lesson encourages you to try strategies of
Ignoring
Making humorous remarks
Assertively talking back in a non-provocative manner
Seeking support through peers or adults.
And if one solution/strategy is not working, switch to another.

9. What are put-downs?
Words that serve to humiliate or snub someone.

10. Why do people use put-downs?
To be funny in front of peers
To kid a friend
To bully someone
To cause someone to lose their cool

11. Put-downs can be used humorously without intent to hurt someone, but all too often put-downs hurt and are used to bully another person.
The person doing the put-downs MUST BE SENSITIVE to the other person. Watch for body language and even verbal cues that they are being hurt or embarassed by the put-downs.

12. What are some of your experience with put-downs, both as givers and receivers? Please do not use names.
Mean notes
Yelling in front of whole class

13. Video
Let’s watch as Carl has difficulty handling put-downs from Danny, a student in his P.E. class.
Who do you think was in control of the situation?
Why do you think Danny put down Carl?

14. Why do people put down?
It’s important to think of why people put down others. Often their goal is to cause other people to “lose their cool”. You can make it YOUR GOAL not to lose your cool--don’t give the bully what he/she wants.

15. Discussion Questions How do you think Carl felt about the put-downs?
How did Carl react and what were the consequences of his reaction?
What else could Carl have done about the problem?
For each solution, ask: Is it safe? How might people feel? Is it fair? Will it work?

16. Brainstorm Skill Steps
Get into groups and decide what solution or combination of solutions you would use.
Then create four or five behavior steps to perform the solution.

17. DEALING WITH PUT-DOWNS Suggested Skill Steps
1. Stay calm.
2. Ignore the person.
3. Think about the consequences.
4. Seek out supportive friends.

18. Video, continued
Now let’s watch how Carl handles the situation differently, using some of the skills we discussed.
After viewing this scene, would you like to change any of the steps you generated?
Would you react differently to a friend who puts you down? How might your steps differ?

19. Student Role Plays
Now you will perform some situations in which you deal with put-downs. Stay in your triad. Two of you will participate in the role-play while the third student acts as the observer. Use the Role-Play Observation Form. Remember to switch roles so that everyone has an opportunity to practice the steps and be the oberver.

20. In Closing…
In today’s lesson you generated steps for dealing with put-downs and then practiced the skill.
Which of the steps felt most comfortable?