1. Distance Deference Camaraderie

2.  Distance: typical of middle and upper class Europeans and Americans, sets boundaries between persons; protects “turf”  Deference: more typically Asian; the “no” does not challenge existing social hierarchies; sometimes a feminine more  Camaraderie: very new American more, celebrates openness and honesty over politeness

3. A (about co-worker): What’s Mary’s story? B: I really don’t know. A: No, seriously, what do you make of her? B: I don’t know her all that well. She seems nice enough. Doesn’t say much. A: Just look at her! I mean, you know. B: I guess I really don’t.

4. P: I need you to request those changes in writing. Q: Okay. Do I need a specific form? P: Ask Sue (P’s secretary). Q: Thanks. I’ll get that to you ASAP.

5. X: Did you get that course you wanted? The one that meets Thursday? Y: NO! I’m NOT taking calc at 3:30 on a Friday. Not happening. X: Maybe another section will open up. Maybe someone will drop. Keep trying. Y: My advisor won’t do ----. I’m so pissed!

6. Distance Deference Camaraderie

7.  Sure. When?  Okay. Want me to drive?  I’d like that.  Where did you have in mind?  Sure. Let’s see if Susan also hasn’t eaten.  I know a good place for pizza.

8.  Yes, thanks for asking.  Oh, you don’t have to do that... but... if you really want to...  Of course. Where should we go?  Oh, that sounds like so much fun!  What a good idea!  I’m sorry. I should have asked if you were hungry.

9.  Why not?  Well, you’re not my first choice, but you’ll do till he comes along.  I hope you’re paying. I’m broke.  Nah, I figure we’ll sit here all evening starving to death trying to figure out what to do and where to go.

10. Distance Deference Camaraderie

11.  Tonight’s not good for me.  I’m dieting this month.  My mother is visiting me.  This is just not a good time for me.  I’m going to work through dinner.  My calendar is so full.  I’ll get back to you on that.

12.  I’d love to, but this is simply not a good time for me.  Let’s do that sometime when we’re both not so busy.  As soon as I’ve lost ten pounds, I’m up for it.  That’s a great idea! Unfortunately, I’ve got houseguests and plans.

13.  Nope.  It would never work--next thing I know you’d want something more.  No, and you don’t really want dinner either.  About as much as I want another hole in my head.  When pigs fly!