1. Raising a Thinking Child
10 minutes
Briefly introduce yourself to the parents.
We recommend you have an “ice-breaker” question. Have each parent introduce him/herself and answer the ice-breaker question.
Note: This first session is an overview of the program and problem-solving skills, starts vocabulary words and introduces dialoguing. It coordinates with the “In the Kitchen” chapter of the RTC Workbook.
Teaching Young Children How to
Resolve Everyday Conflicts and
Get Along with Others
Lesson 1: Overview

2. What do you want for your child?
5 minutes
Ask parents, “what do you want for your children?”
It is important not to place any value judgments on their comments
When parents have had ample time to answer, follow with: “ there’s not one right way to bring up our kids. We all want them to be happy and successful. We’re going to talk about a new way, a different way, to do that.”
You will want to write down the parent responses to this question on flip chart in order to remind them of their goals in subsequent lessons.
Lesson 1: Overview

3. I Can Problem Solve (ICPS)
5 minutes (includes slides 3,4,5, and 6—goals, focus, and benefits of ICPS)
Explain to parents that the RTC workbook we will be using is part of the ICPS curriculum. Let them know you will be providing them with either the RTC workbook or handouts which are copies of the workbook pages each week. Remember, RTC was developed for children ages 4 to 8, although some concepts do apply to older children.
Lesson 1: Overview

4. Goal of ICPS
To teach children thinking skills that can be used to help resolve or prevent “people” problems.
Explain how we all encounter “people” problems each day.
Lesson 1: Overview

5. Focus of ICPS Teaches children how to think, not what to think
Guides children in thinking for themselves
Teaches children how to evaluate their own ideas
Encourages children to come up with solutions to problems on their own
Lesson 1: Overview

6. Benefits for Children Builds self-confidence and listening skills
Encourages thinking about new and different solutions to problems
Helps children to “get along” better with their classmates or siblings
ability to wait
ability to cope with frustration
impulsivity
social withdrawal
Lesson 1: Overview

7. Lesson 1: Overview 5 minutes
Handout copies of the ICPS log on page 10 of their workbook. Ask parents to write down a recent scenario that happened between them and their child.
Lesson 1: Overview

8. Lesson 1: Overview 10 minutes (for this slide and slides 9, 10, 11)
For this slide talk to parents about the purpose. Then review the problem by saying, “It will be helpful to write down a typical exchange between you and your child when a problem comes up. For example, a child climbs up on top of a cabinet to get a cookie. With safety as the issue, the example provided here shows the exchange between a mother and her four-year old before the mother learned ICPS.”
Read the problem. Then ask, “is this exchange a monologue or a dialogue? How we talk with our children can be represented by four rungs of a ladder. Each rung of the ladder represents a different style of talking with children or way of handling a problem.”
Lesson 1: Overview

9. Lesson 1: Overview Handout copies of pages 24-27.
Use the explanations on page 24 to walk through the ladder rungs (page 25). Explain this by saying, “The statements in the sample here fall on RUNGS 1, 2, and 3. To get you started the first exercise we do together will use the same example as the one above. Try to stay with the issue of safety as the reason you do not want your children to climb.”
Lesson 1: Overview

10. Write just like a movie script.
Tips
Write just like a movie script.
Write what you say or do—then write what your child says or does.
If this problem has never happened with your child, just make up what you and your child might do if a problem like this one did occur.
Ask parents to look at page Read the tips to them and then ask them to complete the problem on page 26.
Lesson 1: Overview

11. Once parents have had a few minutes to complete the problem ask them to refer to the dialogue ladder.
Ask parents to share their examples they wrote on page 26 and help them understand how their styles of communication coordinate to the ladder rungs.
Lesson 1: Overview

12. Key Components of ICPS Vocabulary Words
Feelings—most important question in dialoguing: “How do you feel when…?”
Alternatives—coming up with solutions: “Can you think of something different to do when…?”
Consequences—develop empathy through awareness of other’s feelings: “What might happen if…?”, “Is _____ a good idea or not a good idea?”
10 minutes (slides 12-16)
E. Mini-lecture
These are the four key components of ICPS. Let parents know they will be working on teaching their children the vocabulary words this week and this is the foundation to raising a thinking child.
Lesson 1: Overview

13. Vocabulary Words for This Week
Is/Is Not And/Or Same/Different
Some/All Before/After Now/Later
These are the only vocabulary words parents will be working on this week with their children. Help them to understand that their children likely know these words and the activities they will be working on at home will be to help reinforce them.
You may want to hang the vocabulary word posters around the room and refer to them as you are talking.
You might also consider asking parents if they would like copies of the vocabulary word posters from the ICPS manuals or RTC workbook to take home —they may want to have their child color the pages and work on them together.
Lesson 1: Overview

14. What is dialoguing?
Parent guides the child in applying ICPS concepts to solve a real-life problem.
Helps children try again if their first attempt to solve a problem fails
Helps them learn to cope with frustration when they don’t get what they want immediately
Introduce dialoguing using this slide and the next. If helpful, refer back to the dialogue ladder from slide 9 (wkbk p. 25) and slide 11 (wkbk p. 27).
Lesson 1: Overview

15. Basic Principles of ICPS Dialoguing
Child and parent must identify the real problem.
Each must understand and deal with the problem.
Once the real problem is identified, the parent must not change it to meet his/her own needs.
The child, not the parent, must solve the problem.
The focus is on how the child thinks, not what he/she thinks.
Lesson 1: Overview

16. When Not to Dialogue
It is not possible or even necessary to dialogue every problem.
Always remove children from harm.
Sometimes a crying child just needs to cry or an angry child just needs to be angry.
Lesson 1: Overview

17. Tuesday Night Live Lesson 1: Overview 10 minutes
Practice/Role-Play a problem.
Ask parents to divide into groups and practice their dialoguing. It would probably be helpful for this first week if you have pre-written parent-child problems which can be solved by utilizing the vocabulary words from this lesson.
After the groups have worked through the process have them role-play their scenarios. Understand that some parents may be uncomfortable with this at first—be prepared to encourage them by role-modeling. Or you can have parents discuss the parent-child problems this week and begin role-playing next week.
As parents role-play try to show the group how participants effectively used the basic principles from slide 15.
“Tuesday Night Live” is simply an attempt to make this section more comfortable for parents. Obviously, you would change it to the day of the week your parent group meets. Feel free to change the title to whatever “fits” your group.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT THE EDUCATOR DEMONSTRATES ALL THE STEPS AND HELPS FACILITATE THE PARTICIPANTS IN THEIR DIALOGUING EFFORTS. This should be done throughout the entire program.
Lesson 1: Overview

18. Vocabulary Words for This Week
Is/Is Not And/Or Same/Different
Some/All Before/After Now/Later
You may want to leave this slide up as parents role-play as a reminder of the vocabulary words for this week.
Lesson 1: Overview

19. Homework Handouts (pages 10-15)
Book of the Week: My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss
5 minutes
Handout pages of the workbook and be certain parents understand their homework for next week. Remind them that they will be focusing on preventing problems “in the kitchen.”
Introduce Dr. Suess’ book—if time permits, you could even read it aloud. Check to see if the child care center or school library has additional copies of this book. Encourage parents to check out this book from the library and read it to their child. Be sure to explain how understanding emotions/moods helps to raise a thinking child.
Lesson 1: Overview

20. Oklahoma Cooperative Extension Service does not discriminate on the
basis of race, color, national origin, gender, age, religion, disability, or
status as a veteran in any policies, practices, or procedures and is an
Equal Opportunity Employer.
Lesson 1: Overview