1. 1 Psychology 320: Gender Psychology Lecture 38

2. 2 Romantic Relationships: 1. What factors determine relationship satisfaction for females and males? (continued) 2. How do females and males manage conflict in romantic relationships? 3. Do gay and lesbian romantic relationships differ from heterosexual romantic relationships?

3. 3 Schedule of Course Topics January 22 – February 12 January 22: Romantic Relationships Chapter 9 January 25 – 29: Sexuality Chapter 10 February 1 – 3:Education Chapter 11 (p. 299-316, 322-324) February 5 – 8: Careers and the Workplace Chapter 12 February 10 – 12: Midterm

4. 4 5.Relationship conflict: Research indicates that conflict influences relationship satisfaction among males and females:  For males and females, the number of conflicts experienced and the success with which conflicts are resolved influences relationship satisfaction. The magnitude of conflicts (i.e., minor vs. major) is unrelated to relationship satisfaction (Cramer, 2002). What factors determine relationship satisfaction for females and males? (continued)

5. 5 How do females and males manage conflict in romantic relationships? Males and females identify similar sources of conflict in their romantic relationships: Disapproval of their partner’s behaviour, lack of communication, physical separation, and deception (Helgeson, 1987). Females are more likely than males to identify lack of independence as an additional source of conflict (Helgeson, 2009).

6. 6 When relationship conflict occurs, females and males report similar levels of compromise and subordination (Neff & Harter, 2002). Nevertheless, some sex differences have been found: Women are more likely than men to bring up conflict. Men are more likely than women to use coercive or aggressive tactics, to use distraction, to attempt to deescalate the conflict, and to withdraw from the conflict (Cahn, 1992; Carstensen et al., 2004; Feldman & Gowen, 1998).

7. 7 Attempts to deescalate conflict (i.e., “deescalation responses”) often lead to greater negative affect: Person A: Let’s talk about why you don’t help out more with the children (confrontation of conflict with negative affect)? Person B: You do such a good job with the children that it doesn’t seem like this is really an issue of conflict (attempt to deescalate conflict with positive statement). Person A: You just don’t get it, do you? If you spent more time with the children, you could do a good job too (more negative affect).

8. 8 Attempts to withdraw from conflict often lead to greater demand (i.e., the “demand/withdrawal” pattern): Person A: Why don’t you spend a little more time working inside the house? Person B: What? What do you mean? Person A: You are never at home and when you are at home, you spend all of your time reading. I have to clean up everything. Silence Person A: You could at least read Janie a bedtime story. Still no response. The sound of a newspaper opening is heard.

9. 9 With respect to the demand/withdrawal pattern (Christensen & Heavey, 1990, 1993):  60% of married couples are characterized by a wife demand/husband withdraw pattern.  30% of married couples are characterized by a husband demand/wife withdraw pattern.  10% of married couples are characterized by an equal proportion of demand and withdraw by wife and husband.

10. 10 Several explanations have been proposed for the relatively high frequency of the wife demand/ husband withdraw pattern: The relatively high frequency of the wife demand/ husband withdraw pattern has been replicated across cultures (i.e., Brazil, Italy, Taiwan; Christensen, 2006).

11. 11 1. Females prefer closeness, males prefer indepen- dence. Consistent with this explanation, research indicates that couples that have greater closeness/ independence conflict are more likely to exhibit the demand/withdraw pattern (Christensen & Heavy, 1993).

12. 12 2. Females are more likely than males to desire change in the relationship. Consistent with this explanation, research indicates that the husband demand/wife withdraw pattern is more likely to occur in relationships in which the husband desires change rather than the wife (Christensen & Heavey, 1993).

13. 13 3. Females have greater “physiological tolerance” for conflict than males. Consistent with this explanation, research has shown a stronger correlation between the negative affect produced by conflict and physiological arousal among males than females (Levenson et al., 1994).

14. 14 Do gay and lesbian romantic relationships differ from heterosexual romantic relationships? There has been relatively little research on same-sex romantic relationships. Reasons for the lack of research on same-sex relationships include:

15. 15 1. The erroneous belief that same-sex relationships are transient: Eldridge & Gilbert (1990): Found an average relationship length of 5.4 years among lesbian couples. Peplau et al. (1997): Found an average relationship length of 2 years among gay and lesbian couples. Kurdek (1998): Found that, over a 5-year longitudinal study, 86% of gay male couples and 84% of lesbian couples remained together.

16. 16 2. Reluctance by members of lesbian and gay communities to participate in psychological research due to potential stigmatization: Until 1973, The American Psychological Association classified homosexuality as a mental disorder. 3. Difficulty obtaining representative samples: Many individuals with a same-sex preference are not open about their sexual orientation. As a result, representative samples are difficult to obtain for studies of same-sex romantic relationships.

17. 17 Nevertheless, in recent years, there has been increased interest in research on same-sex relationships. This interest has been fueled by discussion and debate over same-sex marriage. With respect to the topics that we have considered, this research has shown the following:

18. 18 (a)Characteristics desired in a mate:  As is the case for heterosexuals, lesbians and gay men value “internal” attributes (e.g., kind) more than “external” attributes (e.g., physically attractive; Peplau et al., 1997).  With respect to external attributes, gay men and heterosexual men are more likely than lesbians and heterosexuals women to emphasize physical appearance. Lesbians are less likely than heterosexual women to emphasize resource potential (Gonzales & Meyers, 1993; Bailey et al., 1994).

19. 19  As is the case for heterosexuals, lesbians and gay men are attracted to individuals who possess attributes similar to their own. However, because individuals with same-sex preferences have a smaller “pool” of potential mates, finding a mate with similar attributes presents a greater challenge (Helgeson, 2009). Lesbian partners are more likely than gay male partners to share similar attributes (Kurdek, 2003).

20. 20 (b) Intimacy:  Lesbian couples report higher levels of intimacy than gay male couples and heterosexual couples. Gay and lesbian couples reported higher levels of autonomy than heterosexual couples (Kurdek, 1998).

21. 21 (c) Relationship maintenance strategies:  Same-sex couples receive less familial support with respect to their romantic relationships and, thus, are less likely than heterosexual couples to utilize such networks to maintain relationships (Kurdek, 1998).  Same-sex couples engage in more equitable division of tasks than heterosexual couples. This is particularly true of lesbian couples (Hereck, 2006; Kurdek, 2003).

22. 22 Romantic Relationships: 1. What factors determine relationship satisfaction for females and males? (continued) 2. How do females and males manage conflict in romantic relationships? 3. Do gay and lesbian romantic relationships differ from heterosexual romantic relationships?