1. Religion And Gender “Why Men Hate Church” Religion And Sexuality Black Gay Men’s Management Of Religious and Sexual Identity Conflicts

2. “Why Men Hate Church” First... Some Hypotheses 1. Churches are too passive... men want to do stuff 2. Churches are like any other institution.. the more women go, the less men want to be involved with it. 3. Men’s fears keep them from church. 4. Church is too “gay.” David (at Jonathan’s funeral): “Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” Just A Couple Of Fears Men Might Have Required Biblical competence Singing (and dancing?) in public The boring, straitlaced Christian lifestyle Anti-intellectualism Men being targeted for marriage The need to become super-husbands Having to give up the things they love Heaven is pretty boring! “One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, ‘Ask him which one he means.’ Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, ‘Lord, who is it?’ (John 13:23-25 in the brand new 2010 edition of the New International Version) “Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom He spake. He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto him, ‘Lord, who is it?’” (John 13:23-25 in the King James Version)

3. “Why Men Hate Church” Now... Some Questions Is it possible to “butch up” Jesus? Is it possible to “butch up” Jesus? Much ado about nothing? What’s lost to churches if ½ of the population doesn’t sign up? Much ado about nothing? What’s lost to churches if ½ of the population doesn’t sign up? Isn’t patriarchy attractive? Isn’t patriarchy attractive? “Men need to take their rightful place in the church.” Part of the problem or part of the solution? “Men need to take their rightful place in the church.” Part of the problem or part of the solution? Is making church Disneyworld for men the answer or does it become so secularized men eventually don’t bother? Is making church Disneyworld for men the answer or does it become so secularized men eventually don’t bother? Did Jesus really attract dangerous men? Did Jesus really attract dangerous men? Why don’t men see the things that scare them away from church as a challenge? Why don’t men see the things that scare them away from church as a challenge?

4. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Threat To The Black Family Threat To Black Masculinity Homosexuality As “Foreign” To Black America “Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve” Sacred Canopy And Rhetorical Gay-Bashing “Homophobia” vs. “Homo-tolerance” When Does The Bible Talk About Lesbians? Black Homophobia Religious Homophobia Sources Of Stigma For Gay Black Men While Blacks Are Fighting for Respect, Gays Are Not In The Army! While I believe that no sin is greater than the other, I want to know how Dr. Pitt feels about being an active member in the church with homosexuality being such a huge sin of emphasis in the black church. Does he ever feel guilty for his homosexuality? In the black community, I feel that we have struggled for so long to be respected. That they’re still not getting much respect makes them more belligerent to the gay community. It’s almost as if this model image we (blacks) have worked so hard for is being diminished by homosexuality. The loving, masculine, protective black males are being replaced by these gay men who blacks feel cannot fulfill the role of breadwinner, protector, provider, husband, or father. And then, there are so many lesbian mothers whose sons are growing up around two women—where is the male figure? Some blacks have no religious base at all and simply think homosexuality is nasty. Anatomically, opposite sexual organs fit and were meant to be. While Blacks Are Fighting for Respect, Gays Are Not In The Army! While I believe that no sin is greater than the other, I want to know how Dr. Pitt feels about being an active member in the church with homosexuality being such a huge sin of emphasis in the black church. Does he ever feel guilty for his homosexuality? In the black community, I feel that we have struggled for so long to be respected. That they’re still not getting much respect makes them more belligerent to the gay community. It’s almost as if this model image we (blacks) have worked so hard for is being diminished by homosexuality. The loving, masculine, protective black males are being replaced by these gay men who blacks feel cannot fulfill the role of breadwinner, protector, provider, husband, or father. And then, there are so many lesbian mothers whose sons are growing up around two women—where is the male figure? Some blacks have no religious base at all and simply think homosexuality is nasty. Anatomically, opposite sexual organs fit and were meant to be.

5. Real & Salient Identities While Both Of Them Can Be “Hidden” These Are Public Identities For These Black Men Black- Christian Black- Christian Black- Homosexual

6. Managing Cognitive Dissonance REJECTION OF THE Black-Christian IDENTITY “Compulsory” Church Attendance Unacceptable White & Liberal Churches “Compulsory” Church Attendance Unacceptable White & Liberal Churches Black- Christian Black- Christian Black- Homosexual

7. Black- Christian Black- Christian Black- Homosexual Managing Cognitive Dissonance REJECTION OF THE Black-Gay IDENTITY “Prayer Didn’t Work” Too Late For Christian Conversion Therapy “Prayer Didn’t Work” Too Late For Christian Conversion Therapy

8. COMPARTMENTALIZATION OF THE TWO IDENTITIES Black- Christian Black- Christian Black- Homosexual Managing Cognitive Dissonance Difficulty maintaining Baumeister’s “rigid separation of the two spheres so one avoids conflicting prescriptions for behavior” (1985).

9. Black- Homosexual Black- Christian Black- Christian Black Christian Homosexual Black Christian Homosexual Managing Cognitive Dissonance INTEGRATION OF THE TWO IDENTITIES How Is This Sustained In Light Of Constant Reminders Of Incompatibility Of The Two Identities From The Pulpit?

10. Reduce Authority Reduce Authority “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about in the area of theology of sexuality.” Accuse (morals) “People in glass houses should not throw stones.” Accuse (judging) “What the Bible boils down to is love, so don’t judge me.” Accuse (motivation) “He’s just saying that to keep the money rolling in.” Have “Revival” “I agree at first and then when [my friends and I] talk about it after church, I let it go.” “Killing The Messenger”