3 Objectives..At the conclusion of this workshop, you should be able to:Identify the major types of difficult people and recognize the behaviors they exhibit.Develop a plan that works for you in dealing with difficult people.
4 Why worry about difficult people? These people are EVERYWHERE! You cannot avoid them entirely.Unfortunately, they often hold positions of power.Give them a chance and they will make your life miserable.You can’t change them, but you can change the way you react to them.
5 What sorts of behaviors are exhibited by difficult people? They are insensitive and demanding.They are aggressive and hostile.They are vulgar and insulting.They are hateful, arrogant and demeaning.They are rude and uncivilized.They are either unresponsive or irresponsible.They are dishonest and conniving.They are uncooperative.They are sensitive, suspicious and intent on placing blame.They are stupid and ignorant and blissfully unaware of it.
6 How do THEY make us feel? Angry Resentful Helpless Hopeless Worthless FrightenedIntimidatedAnnoyedRevengefulOverwhelmedAngryResentfulHelplessHopelessWorthlessFrightenedIntimidatedAnnoyedRevengefulOverwhelmedHostileInferiorThreatenedHurtInsultedFrustratedUsedHatefulEtc.HostileInferiorThreatenedHurtInsultedFrustratedUsedHatefulEtc.
7 How do these feelings make us behave? WithdrawNagArgueGive UpExplainTry HarderPlot Revenge
9 The Bulldozer They are the bully of the group. They know it all. Often use threats, sarcasm and intimidation.They can be loud or hostile.They can be abusive.They have the potential to overwhelm you.
10 Fire Hose Dampen Enthusiasm Everything will fail Negative Statements Constantly Complaining
11 Sniper Excludes key people Withhold information Use hidden attacks, innuendos, digs, non-playful teasingWreck havoc and you don’t see them
12 So What Can I Do? Avoid them Label them Persuade them Neutralize them Confront themRehabilitate themDiscourage themIsolate themPunish themPray for themLabel themNeutralize themUnderstand themAccept themInform themInvolve themIgnore themConvert them
13 Neutralize them… Why should I? Removes incendiary behavior from an emotionally flammable environmentReduces their payoffReduces the disruption in your worldMinimizes your stressHow can I?Take notesAvoid eye contactComment on theiremotional arousalAsk them what constructive things they have triedAsk them what they want you to doWarn them, then hang up or leave
14 Label them… Why should I? Helps you cope Helps you realize they need to be managedLowers your expectationsReminds you to detachHow can I?Monitor your emotionsImagine a sticky note labeled, “A Real Nut” attached to their foreheadsPity themConcentrate on observing them
15 Confront them… Why should I? Disrupts usual response patterns Provides relief from helplessnessEncourages others to take actionHow can I?Document their behaviorLine up witnessesGive emotions time to dissipateConfront in a calm manner with respect
16 What can I do for me? Choose to Eliminate Negative People Become the ObserverExerciseWorst Case ScenarioAvoid Heated DiscussionsMost ImportantPour HoneyExpress ItOIYLI (Only If You Let It)