1. WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
SESSION FOUR
WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

2. perpetrated mainly (but not only) by men against
Defining Domestic and
Family Violence
Domestic
And Family Violence
is an abuse of power
perpetrated mainly (but
not only) by men against
women in a relationship or after separation. It occurs when one partner attempts to physically and/or psychologically dominate and control the other. 26

3. What is Domestic Violence?
Physical abuse:
Kicking, slapping, hitting, punching, pushing, pulling, choking and property damage. 
Emotional abuse:
Jealously, anger, intimidation, controlling, neglect, humiliation,threats, isolation and verbal abuse. 
Social Abuse:
Being stopped from meeting or seeing friends or family, not allowed to leave the home. Being stalked.
Sexual abuse:
Forcing and coercing sexual acts, rape and having sex without wanting to.  
Economic Abuse:
Controlling access to money and other resources, forced
to live without money. 27

4. Myths & Facts
Myth
Fact
Domestic and Family violence only occurs in working or poorer families
Domestic and family violence happens in all communities, from all social and cultural groupings.
Violent men cannot control themselves, their behaviour is “out of their control”
This is not true. If men cannot control their violent behaviours then they would try to dominate and control everybody including their bosses, their work friends and all other people they come into contact with.
Women enjoy being abused, otherwise they would leave the situation
There are many reasons why women do not leave violent situations. They fear social isolation, community stigma and financial problems. Also after long-term abuse, their self esteem is very low and they do not have the support systems to build their confidence. 28

5. Myths & Facts Myth Fact 29 Loving caring partners do not use violence
Violence can happen even in the most loving and caring relationships.
Only small numbers of women have experienced domestic & family violence
International and Australian studies undertaken in hospitals, by the police , by some churches and by community services all suggest that one in three to five women will experience domestic & family violence.
Alcohol and stress are to blame for domestic violence.
Alcohol and stress are not an excuse for domestic violence, it only acts as a excuse. It is up to the person who commits domestic violence to accept responsibility.
Fact 29

6. Myths & Facts
Myth
Fact
Domestic Violence is rarely spoken about, it is a private family matter.
Domestic violence is a crime. It is not part of any relationship.
Domestic violence if hidden can escalate and do more damage if no one knows about it.
Domestic violence only happens where there is unemployment and poverty in the family
Women from all backgrounds, all ages, all cultures, employed and unemployed are likely to be victims of domestic violence
Women know their rights and can leave the situation if they want to.
A strong sense of silence and secrecy often go with Domestic Violence.
Women fear speaking out. The violence causes low self-esteem and no one wants their family to break up. Most women hope the violence will stop.
Some women provoke violence and they are part of the problem
No family deserves violence, dealing with problems in ways that don’t involve violence is the key, not blaming the victim. 30

7. Commonly named causes or excuses for domestic violence
Financial pressure on the family
causing stress
Drug & alcohol abuse by one or more
family members
Gambling by either partner
Abuse within extended families, generational
abuse
Typical and acceptable “male” behaviour
Culturally acceptable behaviour 31

8. Indicators of domestic and family violence, experienced by women
Physical injuries, including broken bones, no
explanation for injuries
Threats to safety, intimidation or harassment
Current or previous police involvements
Feelings of sadness or depression, low self
esteem
Difficulty in concentration or focus
Being denied access to funds or resources and/or
repeated requests for financial assistance 32

9. Indicators of domestic and family violence, experienced by women
Over protective of children and avoidance of
discussing children
Current or previous separation in the relationship
Extensive use of medications
Lack of self esteem or self confidence
Problems with sleep & sleeplessness
Nervous or withdrawn behaviours 33

10. Indicators of domestic and family violence, experienced by women
Aggressive behaviours or language
Isolation from friends, family & community
Medical or psychosomatic illness, such as
headaches or stomach problems, frequent visits
to hospital or doctor
Eating disorders
Difficulty with friendships 34

11. Impacts of domestic and family
violence on children and young people
Physical injuries
Bed wetting or soiling
Psychosomatic illness
Behavioural problems
Anxious or fearful behaviours
Aggressive language or behaviours
Developmental delays
Nervous or withdrawn behaviours 35

12. Impacts of domestic and family
violence on children and young people
Advanced maturity, sense of responsibility
Disturbed sleep, nightmares, constant waking,
fear of the dark
Use of drugs or alcohol
Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships,
poor social skills.
Lacking in confidence, poor self esteem and
self image
Sadness or depression
Eating disorders
Self-harming behaviours 36

13. Some Additional Causal Factors Experienced By Migrant Communities
Financial pressure: in particular the financial pressure of supporting relatives in the
home country and the pressure of unemployment
Gambling
Changes in women’s attitudes, expectation and roles.
Relationship difficulties, including issues relating to children, which were seen to
put pressure on relationships that may lead to domestic violence
Male behaviours and attitudes in particular in response to the changed roles of
women in Australia
Cultural differences, in the context of mixed marriages
Provocation from women experiencing the freedom of women's rights 37

14. Issues which impact on the incidence of domestic violence
in refugee communities
Pre arrival torture, trauma, rape and sexual violence
Post traumatic stress disorder
Problems experienced during resettlement
Racism
Loss of dreams
Loss of status 38