1. Unfamiliar Text Writing a response using the TEMPERS method

2. You have the resources in front of you Step One: Panic Step Two: Try not to panic Step Three: Use a strategy to answer the questions

3. Read the texts Read them slowly – Make notes about ‘the speaker’ – Whose voice it is - what sex/nationality – Is ‘the speaker’ also the author? – Why are they writing about this subject?

4. Let’s do this for A Winter’s Tale – Make notes about ‘the speaker’ Brian Turner (see bottom of page) – Whose voice it is - what sex/nationality A man, living in Central Otago, New Zealand – Is ‘the speaker’ also the author? Yes – Why are they writing about this subject? Living in the middle of the Otago winter he ponders the things in life that really matter. He wants people to know why he lives there and what he gets out of it.

5. Think about the techniques Question One – Identify ONE language technique used in the first three paragraphs of the text (lines 1.-17). Provide an example, and show how it relates to the rest of the text. Achieved Merit Excellence Identifies and gives an example of at least ONE valid language technique from lines 1-17 AND Makes a relevant comment about how the technique relates to the rest of the passage Identifies and gives an example of at least ONE valid language technique from lines 1-17 AND Presents a valid and detailed discussion of how the technique relates to the rest of the passage. There may be more than one reference point, and the discussion will provide more detail Identifies and gives an example of at least ONE valid language technique from lines 1-17 AND Presents an integrated discussion of the links between the technique(s) and the rest of the passage. There will be a sense that connections are being made across the passage. This is a theme question!

6. Look at the passage again In Russian literature, stars in the sky have been described as resembling frost on the blade of an axe. That image resounds, strikes me as entirely apt if you live in my part of the world, the inland spaces of southern New Zealand. It’s brisk, bristly and bright in the morning as I write this. There are no clouds anywhere over Rough Ridge to the east or Blackstone Hill to the west. I imagine diamonds are glinting in the snow on my back lawn. I’m sitting here in my possum socks. On my head I have on e of my several woollen beanies. My stringy frame hosts a singlet, a very thick lined “bush shirt”, and over that two woollen jerseys. For the time being I’ve lost my fingerless woollen mittens. In my “main” room is a small woodburner that, years ago, I put in what was previously an utterly useless, ineffectual fireplace. I live in a tiny house, a shoebox, and have the unenviable distinction of hunkering in a very small town, Oturehua (population 30-40), near the head of Ida Valley in the Maniototo region of Central Otago. A few kilometres up the road are the snow-draped and pleated slopes of my beloved Hawkdun range, and a bit further off, in the northwest, is that wonderful mammoth, Mt St Bathans. In every direction are high hills and mountains, their shapes and hues often replicated by the most wonderful and startling skyscapes I have seen anywhere.

7. The Question Identify ONE language technique used in the first three paragraphs of the text (lines 1.-17). Provide an example, and show how it relates to the rest of the text. -What are three of the most common techniques ‘known to man’? -Simile, metaphor, alliteration…ok go find them!

8. Question 1 Identify ONE language technique used in the first three paragraphs of the text (lines 1.-17). Provide an example, and show how it relates to the rest of the text. TechniqueExample Simile“stars in the sky…resembling frost on the blade of an axe” (line 1) Alliteration“it’s brisk, bristly and bright” “startling skyscrapes” Metaphor“diamonds are glinting in the snow on my back lawn” “my stringy frame”

9. Using the TEMPERS approach to write the answer The author Brian Turner uses the technique(s) of ____________. An example of this(these) is ___________________________. This relates to the rest of the passage in that …

10. Excellence response A language technique used by the author Brian Turner in the first three paragraphs of the text is a simile “stars in the sky…resembling frost on the blade of an axe”. This relates to the rest of the passage through its appreciation of the relationship between man and nature but also the insignificance of man in comparison to the size of nature. In this passage, Turner is writing about why he enjoys living in the harsh Otago winter, finding an appreciation of the simple things in life and discovering what is really important.

11. Question 2 What conclusion does the writer reach? What techniques does he use in the last three paragraphs to get his point across?

12. Let’s look at that passage People have said bluntly that I must be mad living here, which reminds me of Yeats reflecting on who might be “Mad as the mist and snow”. Well, half those I know everywhere strike me as a bit mad, and I’m sure I’m no different. It’s the so-called sane I fear most, those afflicted with rational-it is laved with vanity and self-delusion. They're much in evidence among the “we-will-do-betters” who seldom do, and who yap more loudly in the lead up to election times. One feels of and in this land, challenged by it often, and a certain distaste for pretension or affectation. In my case there’s a disinclination, too, to listen to too much whinging about rights and entitlements driven by unreasonable or unsustainable expectations. Living here helps emphasise the difference between needs and wants, forces me to learn how to get by and make do. Often I’m reminded of Thoreau who, for a time, learned from nature, set out “to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life”. He was looking for ways to apprehend the essence of what is less grasping, and hoped to become more appreciative of simpler, respectful pleasures.

13. The Question What conclusion does the writer reach? What techniques does he use in the last three paragraphs to get his point across?

14. The Question What conclusion does the writer reach? What techniques does he use in the last three paragraphs to get his point across? the use of the term technique s would suggest that you need to find AT LEAST two!

15. What is the point? What conclusion does the writer reach? What techniques does he use in the last three paragraphs to get his point across? Possible points include… The hardships of winter, in a hostile and inhospitable environment, remind the writer of what really matters ‘the basics’, like warmth and a sense of community, are what is really important in life Self-reliance helps create a resilience of spirit Those who do not understand the writer’s choice of lifestyle are themselves petty and delusional Winter is beautiful but harsh, and teaches us something

16. The Question What conclusion does the writer reach? What techniques does he use in the last three paragraphs to get his point across? Let’s go technique hunting!

17. Possible techniques Spoken language features/conversational language – Contractions, abbreviations, use of personal pronoun (I’m, I) – Colloquialisms (yap, whingeing) These allow a sense of personal engagement/enjoyment Reinforce the writer’s view of the world Attempt to persuade others of the writer’s views

18. Possible techniques Diction – Formal, almost legal language (apprehend, entitlements, One) Makes the writer’s thoughts more forceful – he has the weight of the law behind him

19. Possible techniques Quotations and allusions Yeats, Thoreau, Russian Literature (not in this section however) Links to other literary figures show that the writer wants to be taken as seriously as them Appeals to an educated audience – this is no ‘buffoon’ writing about ‘the simple things’

20. Possible techniques Neologisms/compound words – (rational-it is, ‘we-will-do-betters’, self-delusion) Reinforces the reflective and/or the persuasive effect Reinforces the mocking/sarcastic tone

21. Possible techniques Abstract nouns/negative emotive words – Vanity, self-delusion, pretension, affectation Reinforces the mocking/sarcastic tone Encourages the reader to accept the writer’s view of the world Abstract Nouns name ideas (justice, peace, truth, vanity, self- delusion) and cannot be touched or seen

22. Excellence Example This was actually written by an AGGS student in the examination in 2009 The writer incorporates quotes of highly esteemed persons such as Yeats to reinforce his point. The writer reaches the conclusion that life in a remote area with the surroundings of nature and just the essentials is preferable to the lives of those who critique this and who appear pretentious – “who yap more loudly in the lead-up to election times”. The use of quotes backs up his claims and emphasises that he is not alone in his belief, others share such sentiments too. He uses neologisms such as ‘rational-itis’ so that he can subtly satirise those who deem themselves sane by using a word that may come across as sounding slightly silly.

23. Question Three What mood is established in lines 1-6 of the poem? With reference to the text, explain the effect that is created. Techniques… Diction/word choice Imagery Personification Strong verbs/words of action

24. Examples of moods Negativity/hopelessness – Shown by diction/word choice ‘fruitlessly’, ‘barren’, ‘cold’, ‘sunless’ – Negativity also reinforced by strong verbs/words of action ‘fall’, ‘arms grip’, ‘haul’

25. Examples of moods Coldness and rejection – Shown by diction/word choice ‘fruitlessly’, ‘barren’, ‘cold’, ‘sunless’

26. Examples of moods Sadness/melancholy – Shown by images, e.g: the tree is barren; the poet’s love will bear no fruit; autumn is linked to a ‘patient’ References to ‘pain’ and ‘old pain’; ‘worn art’ suggests tiredness/dejection

27. Examples of moods Familiarity and resignation – Shown by personification of tree ‘once more in love’ – Also by diction ‘sad reminiscence’, ‘age-worn friends’, ‘rediscovering’

28. Examples of moods Nostalgia – The tree is trying to hold onto the warmth of autumn – remembering better times

29. The explanation of effects This may include: How the writer uses language to create a mood How the mood helps to tell us what the poet feels and why How the writer uses the poem’s mood to create a response in the reader about the poem’s subject matter/theme/ideas

30. Examples of effects An idea is created by the mood – The poet is pessimistic about the onset of autumn: none of the benefits of the approach of autumn (autumn harvest, colours of leaves, etc) are contemplated – Autumn is unwelcoming – A realisation that halting or changing the passing of the seasons is impossible – humankind is powerless in the face of nature – Realisation of the nature cycle of the seasons

31. Examples of effects Image(s), in the sense of visualisations, are created by the mood – Reminds the reader of a cold winter’s day – Makes the reader think of the misery of old age An emotional reaction/response is inspired by mood – e.g. sympathy for poet/tree

32. An excellence example from 2009 AGGS student in exam It seems as if a mood of weariness and melancholy is established in the first 6 lines of the poem with the use of words/phrases such as ‘age-worn friends’, ‘sunless world’, and ‘damp’. These all connote a sense of the glum so that the poem in turn evokes an almost numb sadness. The first line ‘Fruitlessly I fall once more in love’ incorporates a verbal pun in that there is imagery of a fall of fruit from a tree and yet it is fruitlessly. Here bears a contradiction. It incorporates the act of falling with the act of being in love so that the mood within the poem is wary yet also a sort of friendly amiableness. The use of figurative language such as the simile of ‘like a patient down the street’ and personification of ‘her cold arms grip’ give the effect of connection between the reader and the tree which is given human qualities. The abstract concept of love with the concrete nouns following sort of gives the effect of juxtaposition, yet also reinforce the human qualities the writer may associate with the presence of the tree (such as companionship)

33. Question Five With reference to the last three lines of the poem, explain the point the writer is making about the onset of autumn.

34. Ideas may include The poet recognises his powerlessness in the fact of nature (I am nothing) The coldness/barrenness of autumn makes the poet feel like a rejected/bereaved lover (retread the mashed grass that my first forays made) The poet dreads the onset of winter (wish only to hide in the ignorance of sleep) The poet feels bereft – there is no external force which cares about his life (The awareness grows that I am nothing to her) The repeated personification of the tree (I am nothing to her) may suggest tha the poet’s relationship with autumn may be a metaphor for a failed relationship in his life The ‘ignorance of sleep’ may suggest that he wishes to depart life The ‘ignorance of sleep’ suggest a childlike perspective; sleep will make it go away and he will not have to think about it in sleep The onset of autumn is predictable and cyclical (‘I retread the mashed grass’ - just as he has done many times before)