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Understanding Conflict. What is Conflict ? Conflict is when there is a difference, plus tension.

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Presentation on theme: "Understanding Conflict. What is Conflict ? Conflict is when there is a difference, plus tension."— Presentation transcript:

1 Understanding Conflict

2 What is Conflict ? Conflict is when there is a difference, plus tension.

3 It is a dispute between two or more persons over values, goals, processes (the way things are done), and/or facts.

4 Differences of opinion can escalate to disputes which escalate to conflict.

5 Why Does Conflict Happen? The answer is simple

6 Your old nature and mine disagree …

7 My ‘self’ is upset because you will not do what I know is the right thing to do.

8 I am ‘King of the hill’ and you need to get that through your head. I am right and you are not. I know what is best…

9 And I can gather a lot of people around me who will agree with me that you are wrong and I am right…

10 You may ask…. Is conflict always a problem between your old nature and mine????

11 Again, the answer is simple…

12 Our new natures, empowered by the Holy Spirit never disagree…

13 Let’s take time for a brief review from a former deacon training lesson…

14 Body Soul Spirit (mind, emotions, will) ( -the old nature) Self-conscious World-conscious God-conscious (-the new nature) Holy Spirit I Thess 5:23 ego sin

15 The ‘soul’ is the old nature… The ‘spirit’ is the new nature which is inhabited by the Holy Spirit

16 EVERY day (and several times a day), we have to make the choice as to WHICH ONE will rule our life… the old nature…or the new…

17 The goal of the OLD NATURE: to be king of our life… The goal of the NEW NATURE: to allow Jesus to be King of our life…

18 This fight is a DAILY one… It is more fierce than any ultimate fighting match you will ever see on TV!

19 The conflict WITHIN me is what complicates my relationship with YOU and the battle you are having within yourself… The result: conflict between us.

20 But what can we do? Our old natures are in control all too often!

21 1. Realize that disagreements and conflicts are inevitable because we are still in these fleshly bodies…

22 2. Learn how to ‘spot’ the differences so we can deal with them before they escalate into conflict.

23 3. Recognize that there are differences in our personalities, the way we were ‘wired’ and what we value. Information breeds inspiration and cuts down on conflict.

24 Learn from this study: Myers Briggs Personality Types

25 Understanding our own personality traits and those of others will help us a great deal.

26 Extravert vs Introvert Where do you put your attention and get your energy? Do you like to spend time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?

27 Sensing or Intuition? Do you prefer solving problems by working through facts until you understand the problem; being practical, looking to the “bottom line.” -or- Are you more interested in new things and what might be possible, thinking more about the future than the past.

28 Thinking or Feeling? How do you like to make decisions? Some put more weight on objective principles and impersonal facts (Thinking); Others put more weight on personal concerns and how the decision will effect the people involved (Feeling)?

29 Judging or Perceiving? Some prefer a more structured and decided lifestyle (planning is important) –Judging Some want to be more flexible and adaptable (go with the flow) -Perceiving