1. What doesn’t work well in this paragraph? Do Now: What doesn’t work well in this paragraph? I love to fish, even if it means getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning. I went fishing with my Uncle Ted last Saturday on the Great South Bay. I had a huge breakfast of steak and eggs at the diner. I even got to steer my uncle’s boat out of the harbor. I was surprised at how many people were boating so early in the morning. I baited my hook and cast out after we set the anchor. I felt a strong tug on my rod. I thought: bluefish! I love to fish, even if it means getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning. Last Saturday Uncle Ted took me fishing on the Great South Bay. We went to a diner, and he let me order a huge breakfast of steak and eggs. He even let me steer his boat out of the harbor. I was surprised at how many people were boating so early in the morning. After we set the anchor I baited my hook and cast out. I felt a strong tug on my rod. Bluefish! I thought.

2. Good writing Sounds good!

3. Strengthen Clarify Vary Refine

4. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? Mix long and short sentences. Mix sentence types. Vary sentence openings.

5. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? The mark of neophyte writers is redundant openings. The mark of neophyte writers is redundant openings. Put too many of the same opening in a row and writing becomes monotonous. Put too many of the same opening in a row and writing becomes monotonous. Like a song with ONE NOTE! Like a song with ONE NOTE! I love to fish, even if it means getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning. I went fishing with my Uncle Ted…

6. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? 1. Use adjectives. 1. Use adjectives. Ripe, juicy peaches made my Grandmother’s pie the best. 2. Use a gerund. Skiing, a favorite winter sport, is being overtaken by snowboarding. 3. Use an appositive. Sheila, the smartest girl in the class, received an award. 4. Use an infinitive (to run, to sit, to play, etc.). To win an award was a proud achievement for Natasha. 5. Use a prepositional phrase. In the high tower, the princess waits for her prince to arrive. In the high tower, the princess waits for her prince to arrive. 6. Use parallel structure (a conjunction between adjectives). Handsome and fearless, the prince climbed the tower to his princess. Handsome and fearless, the prince climbed the tower to his princess. 7. Use a Participle or Participial Phrase (“ing” or “ed”) Slithering down the trunk of the tree, I ripped my best pants. Impressed by the ceremony, we left the room in silence.

7. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? Many students have a hard time studying. Many students have a hard time studying. 1.Use adjectives. Use a gerund. 2. Use a gerund. 3.Use an appositive. 4.Use an infinitive. 5.Use a prepositional phrase. 6.Use parallel structure. 7.Use a Participle or Participial Phrase. Studying gives many students a hard time. Difficult and tedious, many students have a hard time studying.

8. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? When you reread your writing, where are the places you’ve got a string of consecutive sentences that all begin the same way? When you reread your writing, where are the places you’ve got a string of consecutive sentences that all begin the same way? How could you begin some of those sentences in a different way? How could you begin some of those sentences in a different way?

9. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? Many students have a hard time studying. Many students really don’t know what to do in order to take notes. Many need to learn the skills to become better students. Many students want to be better students, but are not sure how to study better in order for their grades to improve. Many students have a hard time studying. Many students really don’t know what to do in order to take notes. Many need to learn the skills to become better students. Many students want to be better students, but are not sure how to study better in order for their grades to improve.

10. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? 1—Underdeveloped 1—Underdeveloped – Creates some variety by using one or two types of openings 2—Proficient 2—Proficient – Creates basic variety by using at least two types of openings, some fluency 3—Well developed 3—Well developed – Creates sophisticated variety by using several types of openings with fluency

11. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? Many students have a hard time studying. Many students really don’t know what to do in order to take notes. Many need to learn the skills to become better students. Many students want to be better students, but are not sure how to study better in order for their grades to improve. Many students have a hard time studying. Many students really don’t know what to do in order to take notes. Many need to learn the skills to become better students. Many students want to be better students, but are not sure how to study better in order for their grades to improve.

12. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? 1. Use adjectives. 1. Use adjectives. Ripe, juicy peaches made my Grandmother’s pie the best. 2. Use a gerund. Skiing, a favorite winter sport, is being overtaken by snowboarding. 3. Use an appositive. Sheila, the smartest girl in the class, received an award. 4. Use an infinitive (to run, to sit, to play, etc.). To win an award was a proud achievement for Natasha. 5. Use a prepositional phrase. In the high tower, the princess waits for her prince to arrive. In the high tower, the princess waits for her prince to arrive. 6. Use parallel structure (a conjunction between adjectives). Handsome and fearless, the prince climbed the tower to his princess. Handsome and fearless, the prince climbed the tower to his princess. 7. Use a Participle or Participial Phrase (“ing” or “ed”) Slithering down the trunk of the tree, I ripped my best pants. Impressed by the ceremony, we left the room in silence.

13. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? If too many sentences start with the same word, especially "The," "It," "This," or "I," prose can grow tedious for readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. If too many sentences start with the same word, especially "The," "It," "This," or "I," prose can grow tedious for readers, so changing opening words and phrases can be refreshing. Varying your sentence openings is ONE way to introduce variety into your writing!

14. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? Underline or write out the first three words of every sentence… Underline or write out the first three words of every sentence… Watch out for starting more than two sentences in a paragraph with the same word or part of speech. Watch out for starting more than two sentences in a paragraph with the same word or part of speech.

15. Aim: How can you introduce variety into your draft by using various sentence openings? – HW: Incorporate at least three new sentence openings from our list to eliminate redundancy and increase the variety in your description. – Submit “Revision” to turnitin.com