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©WBro Martin Roche Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge.

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1 ©WBro Martin Roche Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge

2 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop By the end of this session we will have: Examined the process of running a discussion and what it involves Examined the process of running a discussion and what it involves Identified potential difficulties and their solutions Identified potential difficulties and their solutions Defined your role Defined your role Agreed a framework to complete the task in hand Agreed a framework to complete the task in hand Had a go! Had a go! ©WBro Martin Roche

3 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop ‘Discussion’ An opportunity for individuals to give open, equal and personal responses to anything that needs interpretation. An opportunity for individuals to give open, equal and personal responses to anything that needs interpretation. A common search for meaning that exposes ambiguities and differences A common search for meaning that exposes ambiguities and differences ©WBro Martin Roche

4 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop ‘Facilitation’ “To make easy” “To make easy” Its purpose: Its purpose: No one person has all the power in the group No one person has all the power in the group No one person has all the answers No one person has all the answers People ‘own’ their opinions (respect & tolerance) People ‘own’ their opinions (respect & tolerance) ©WBro Martin Roche

5 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop ©WBro Martin Roche What it is … and is not! It isn’t about: It isn’t about: Chairing a meeting … and you being the focus Chairing a meeting … and you being the focus ‘Being in charge’ ‘Being in charge’ Running group therapy! Running group therapy! It must be about: It must be about: You asking the initial questions You asking the initial questions Leading them to ask questions of each other, which requires that Leading them to ask questions of each other, which requires that They do most of the talking They do most of the talking THEY REACH A CONCLUSION THEY REACH A CONCLUSION

6 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche The pitfalls: You doing all the talking is easy You doing all the talking is easy Listening is difficult Listening is difficult Not interrupting is unbearable! Not interrupting is unbearable!

7 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche What we must not do: Take sides Take sides Give personal opinions – rhetorical/leading questions Give personal opinions – rhetorical/leading questions Provide answers to their issues – advice in disguise! Provide answers to their issues – advice in disguise! Constantly talk in anecdotes (‘… well, when I was …’) Constantly talk in anecdotes (‘… well, when I was …’) Allow ‘ping-pong’ exchanges between two participants Allow ‘ping-pong’ exchanges between two participants Be THE expert Be THE expert

8 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche What we must do: Emphasise our role and keep reminding them Emphasise our role and keep reminding them Create trust and maintain respect Create trust and maintain respect Involve everyone Involve everyone Remain positive Remain positive Value contributions (‘thank you for that …’) Value contributions (‘thank you for that …’) Keep calm – you and them Keep calm – you and them

9 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche What we must do: Keep questions open – those that start with: who, what, where, when, why, how (5WH) and also: Keep questions open – those that start with: who, what, where, when, why, how (5WH) and also: Tell me about … Tell me about … Explain for me … Explain for me … Describe to me … Describe to me … Provide constant affirmation (‘That’s an interesting point … what does everybody else think?’) Provide constant affirmation (‘That’s an interesting point … what does everybody else think?’) Maintain a party line Maintain a party line

10 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche What we must do: Keep the conversation moving in the right direction; therefore, Keep the conversation moving in the right direction; therefore, Be prepared to remind them of the question/point in hand Be prepared to remind them of the question/point in hand Summarise frequently – it aids consensus Summarise frequently – it aids consensus Make progress and reach outcomes Make progress and reach outcomes

11 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Good examples of phrases using open questions: We’ve just covered an awful lot of issues – can somebody summarise the things we have discussed? We’ve just covered an awful lot of issues – can somebody summarise the things we have discussed? What do you all think about what … has just said? What do you all think about what … has just said? Who else feels/thinks that? Who else feels/thinks that? What would you do in that situation? What would you do in that situation?

12 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Why did you become a mason? Why did you become a mason? How would you introduce a potential member to your lodge? How would you introduce a potential member to your lodge? Where would you go to find out? Where would you go to find out? What’s your view on that? What’s your view on that? What type of person makes a good mason? What type of person makes a good mason? Good examples of phrases using open questions:

13 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche And some of the simplest questions are the hardest … Such as … Such as … Are you a better person for being a mason? Are you a better person for being a mason? If so, how? If so, how? If not, why? If not, why?

14 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Remember: Some people may be on a mission in these meetings – and it may not be the same as ours! Some people may be on a mission in these meetings – and it may not be the same as ours! This may be the first opportunity some members have ever had to express an opinion on anything – never mind Masonic issues This may be the first opportunity some members have ever had to express an opinion on anything – never mind Masonic issues Maintaining control of the proceedings is essential – but too much control can become manipulation Maintaining control of the proceedings is essential – but too much control can become manipulation Assist them to reach conclusions – but do not impose them Assist them to reach conclusions – but do not impose them

15 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Remember: Summaries must be an accurate representation of their deliberations and not a mixture of your opinions and what you wish they had said! Summaries must be an accurate representation of their deliberations and not a mixture of your opinions and what you wish they had said! There are not always right and wrong answers – but there can still be consensus and acceptance of differences There are not always right and wrong answers – but there can still be consensus and acceptance of differences It’s good when we admit our mistakes – but we are sometimes not very good in the way we point out other peoples It’s good when we admit our mistakes – but we are sometimes not very good in the way we point out other peoples

16 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Remember: Masonry has to learn from its mistakes – part of which is moving on from them Masonry has to learn from its mistakes – part of which is moving on from them We don’t need to know all the answers – but we need to be able to recognise them when they appear We don’t need to know all the answers – but we need to be able to recognise them when they appear We all need to know what achievement … the outcome … looks like (VERY important) We all need to know what achievement … the outcome … looks like (VERY important) The most powerful and meaningful questions are the shortest ones The most powerful and meaningful questions are the shortest ones

17 ©WBro Martin Roche Mentoring for Mentors EXERCISE … or time to have a go!

18 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop Purpose of the exercise To come up with a consensus about what freemasonry means to you us a group To come up with a consensus about what freemasonry means to you us a group Whilst doing this we will look at the process as well as the question Whilst doing this we will look at the process as well as the question The intent is to illustrate how to run this yourself The intent is to illustrate how to run this yourself ©WBro Martin Roche

19 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Exercise What does freemasonry mean to you? What does freemasonry mean to you? As an individual and in your lodge As an individual and in your lodge Not the allegorical stuff Not the allegorical stuff One word answers only! One word answers only! Real words that you understand in everyday language and that a layman will. Real words that you understand in everyday language and that a layman will. Think about how you would (or do) describe it to a prospective member AND their wife/partner? Think about how you would (or do) describe it to a prospective member AND their wife/partner? Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever tried? Have you ever tried?

20 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Why are you a mason? Why are you a mason? Why have you stayed a mason of your lodge? Why have you stayed a mason of your lodge? What makes your masonry fun? What makes your masonry fun? And what doesn’t! And what doesn’t! Is there anything you need to know so that you are a better informed Mason? Is there anything you need to know so that you are a better informed Mason? Does any body else in your lodge have ‘the answers’? Does any body else in your lodge have ‘the answers’? If not, where will you get the answers? If not, where will you get the answers? It may also encompass…

21 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Finally In doing the exercise, contributions will be recorded on a flip chart In doing the exercise, contributions will be recorded on a flip chart Reason? Reason? Keep them on track Keep them on track Keep you on track! Keep you on track! Aid discussion Aid discussion Ensure progress Ensure progress Reach a conclusion and have a ‘product’ to go away with Reach a conclusion and have a ‘product’ to go away with

22 ©WBro Martin Roche Question What does Freemasonry mean to you?

23 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Having gone through the exercise … What have we achieved? What have we achieved? The aim is that participants will now be more confident to discuss THEIR masonry with: The aim is that participants will now be more confident to discuss THEIR masonry with: A member of their lodge? A member of their lodge? A friend? A friend? A member of their family? A member of their family? A colleague? A colleague? A potential new member? A potential new member? Could you run this exercise (address this question) in a lodge? Could you run this exercise (address this question) in a lodge?

24 Mentoring for Mentors Workshop © WBro Martin Roche Having gone through the exercise … Turn their deliberations into a list of the top ten words that summarise what they as a group think masonry is Turn their deliberations into a list of the top ten words that summarise what they as a group think masonry is Without realising it they have a prompt which encompasses what Masonry is to them and a menu/agenda to describe it to somebody else! Without realising it they have a prompt which encompasses what Masonry is to them and a menu/agenda to describe it to somebody else!

25 ©WBro Martin Roche And the big question… What will you take away from this session?

26 ©WBro Martin Roche Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge


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