1. When: 10 May 2010 Where: Arse-end of London Lansdown FC in front of the Daniel Agger Stand, Dagenham & Redbridge FC

2. Lansdown FC End of Season Presentation Ben Brennan & Sami McCabe An entirely unnecessary look back at another season of below-average park football

3. Agenda Season Review Bens Vital Statistics The Blog The Bad News Awards Keep going Lansdown, this has been allright so far Matt Atkinson encourages sustained mediocrity

4. Season Review I was delighted when you missed as well Sami McCabe reflects on Ben Brennans penalty effort in the shoot-out against Red Bee

5. Headlines London Football League Premier League: 7 th Place London Football League Saturday Cup: 1 st Round London Football League Saturday Cup, Plate Competition: Semi-finalists London Football League Weekend Cup: Quarter-finalists

6. League Table TeamPlayedWDLFAGDPoints Park View FC1615018077345 FC African16122239192038 Yalova FC16100640162430 Red Bee Media168172928125 Elite Youth166463746-922 Birkbeck College164573138-717 Lansdown FC1641112549-2413 Fanatics FC1633102252-3012 AC Matalan1620141361-486

7. Group of Deaf/Group B TeamPlayedWDLFAGDPoints Lansdown FC851231121916 Fanatics FC85122317616 AC Matalan840414122 Wembley Park FC B83051129-189 Barnet DFC82061524-96 Im not actually Cuban, Im just an overconfident Egyptian Sami to anyone that would listen at The Cuban Bar (while attempting to Cha-cha-cha with the many real Cubans in attendance)

8. Lansdown FC Trophy Cabinet Fat-trick! Brennan Till expresses his delight at completing a hat-trick against Wembley Park FC B

9. London Football League Saturday PM Premier League Winners: Park View FC

10. London Football League Saturday PM Premier League Runners-up: FC African

11. Year by Year The Glory Years (back to back titles) The Glory Hole (no titles) The Shit Years

12. Trendline

13. Trendline vs Hairline BOX: 2001BOX: 2011

14. Bens Vital Statistics Ben Brennan looking very cool

15. Players Dave Willock Ben Brennan James Burberry Mattie Alleston Nic Knight Sami McCabe Chris Locke Henry Simms Rhys Phelps George Hibdige Rob Langridge Bernard Jerome Gill Curtis Stranger James Amar Mark Fenton Adam Huckle Torben Nielsen Mike Stoneman Martin Kavanagh Matt Higgs Tom Gould Ben Gubb Jose Fernandes Paul Knight Alex Cooper Dinos OTritsarolis Jon D. Elsworth Mike Mayes James Paul Simon Martin Reeves Peter Simms Alex Brennan Jack Grove Stuart Rolland Roger Justin Duncan Nevett Thiago Graham Kavanagh Mark Hillier Sam Barnes Oli Cooper Matt Atkinson Hero Senga Brennan Till 46 (Context: Aston Villa used 24 players in all competitions this season and they managed to qualify for the Europa League. Bare that in mind.)

16. Appearances

17. Goalscorers

18. One hit wonders Dinos OTritsarolis Mattie Alleston Jerome Gill Eifel 65: Blue (Da Ba Dee) Jose Fernandes Mark Hillier Rob Langridge Edison Lighthouse: Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) Rhys Phelps Henry Simms

19. Hard Men (number of Cautions) Sami McCabe (3) Rhys Phelps (1) Oli Cooper (1) Ben Brennan (1) A couple of our hard men in action (insert knob gag)

20. Another of our hardest man at work...

21. And Hob on a hardman...

22. And Fent in a high five moment

23. And heres one of BOX for good measure...

24. The Blog 11,161 hits so far 99 posts (47 by me) Top news stories: Hibdige Strong – 104 views Club Meeting – 88 views AC Matalan 0 – 2 Lansdown FC – 76 views Lansdown FC 6 – 1 AC Matalan – 73 views Kitastrophe – 72 views Ive had to cut one side differently to the other because its receding at a faster pace Hairdresser to BOX following his pre-holiday trim

25. Match Reports Rhys – thats never going to work. – Jon D., reacting to Rhys third attempted back-heal of the game vs AC Matalan Rhys – put that away. – Sam, reacting to Rhys third attempted back-heal of the game vs AC Matalan

26. Blog Ratings

27. BOX: Average Kit-man turns hit-man as Lansdown reach the knock- out stages by Henry Simms

28. The Bad News

29. Finances Ill put you on the news Elite Youths central midfielder to an unspecified Lansdown player

30. 2008-9 profit Does Jewish Free School mean that Jewish people are not allowed in? Torben prior to the fixture at the Jewish Free School

31. Credit crunch:

32. 2009-10 debt £1,124.88

33. Kitastrophe: Dictionary Definition Main Entry: ki·tas·tro·phe Pronunciation: \ki-ˈtas-trə-(ˌ)fē\ Function: noun tymology: Greek katastrophē, from kitastrephein to fuck up the kit on a massive scale, from kit to supply clothing- + strephein to fuck up 1: utter failure in kit supply Oxford English Dicktionary, 2010

34. Awards Where are you from? An elderly gentleman to Sami McCabe in the Kingsbury Wetherspoons, presumably on account of having not previously seen an Argyle knit/blazer combo in the establishment.

35. Goal of the Season Home to Fanatics FC

36. Cross of the Season WinnerRunner-up Mattie Alleston for his perfectly placed effort against AC Matalan Sam Barnes for his perfectly placed cross onto Tills head against Barnet DFC. Till couldnt miss. Well...

37. Player of the Season Rewarding averageness with a trophy Is your auntie porn star? Hero to Rhys prior to the home game against AC Matalan

38. Player of the Season Henry Simms

39. The Dicky Pelham Award

40. The Dicky Pelham Award Winner Mattie Alleston