Presentation on theme: "What youth wish you knew but probably wont tell you with Jon Heinly."— Presentation transcript:
What youth wish you knew but probably wont tell you with Jon Heinly
-spiritually -socially -in family -academically -expectations -dating and sexuality -peer pressure -responsibility What do you think is different about the experience of youth now compared to when you were a teenager?
Student responses to What do you wish trusted adults in your life knew, but you probably wont tell them? I wish they knew how hard it is to be a teenager. they knew what its like to be a teenager in this generation
-spiritually -socially -in family -academically -expectations -dating and sexuality -peer pressure -responsibility What do you think is the same about the experience of youth now compared to when you were a teenager?
our struggles that adults sometimes forget about from when they were young
…adolescence begins in biology and ends in culture. -John Santrock in Chap Clark, Hurt
Why What youth wish you knew but probably wont tell you?
PostSecrets I trashed my parents house to look like I had a party while they were out of town…so my mom would think I had friends.
What is something that a youth has shared with you that caught you off guard?
When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him- or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
All my friends that you think are good Christian kids smoke weed.
I wish adults knew and understood how much pressure there is to be perfect. To have perfect grades, perfect friends, perfect families and most of all have a perfect plan for the future as far as careers go, most of us feel inadequate at times, because we can never live up to those expectations. And we are all sick of the question, What do you want to be when you grow up? I wish there would be more of a focus on who we want to be when we grow up.
According to research by Princeton and Cornell universities, 20% of female students and 14% of male students done some sort of self-injuring behavior (i.e. cutting, burning, carving). p.s. It is not safe to assume that self-injury is an indicator of suicidal behavior.
insecurity and fear
They need to know were scared [but] just dont show it! I wish they knew we still get bullied and teased, even in the popular group. Im scared for what will happen after I graduate.
cutting anorexia sexual orientation cigarettes pornography pot oral sexlack of faith cursing alcohol victim of abuse …and many more…
I wish my parents knew about that I had serious depression a couple years ago, but I wont tell them because I dont want them to get sad from that. On the other hand, I want them to know just some part of it. Otherwise, Ill be sad.
The rate of suicide among year olds has tripled since the 1960s. Childstats.gov and Walt Mueller, Youth Culture 101
The rate of suicide among year olds has tripled since the 1960s. 21.8% of high school girls have thought of suicide in the last 12 months. Childstats.gov and Walt Mueller, Youth Culture 101
The rate of suicide among year olds has tripled since the 1960s. 21.8% of high school girls have thought of suicide in the last 12 months. 8% of year olds had a Major Depressive Episode during the past year (2009). Childstats.gov and Walt Mueller, Youth Culture 101
Every adult I have ever met generalizes high school students. I am not a statistic and I do not want to be treated as such. I would listen, trust, and communicate better with adults who respect me as a person not as a child that they think they already know all about. I am not you, I am not my friends, I am not my peers. I am a human being just like you, and if I am to respect you then please show me that you respect me.
You may read about or see stories of what kids are dealing with these days, but the best way to ACTUALLY realize the issues and temptations we have to deal with is to personally talk to someone.
All adults: you dont give teenagers enough credit. Most people comment about the 44% or so of sexually active teens but dont realize the high % of us arent.
A lot of teenagers who grow up in Christian families are turned off by Christianity and want to rebel because their parents, church, etc. is so dogmatic and forceful about religion, or else they rebel simply because they want to do something different than their parents. Parents should allow kids to have their own identity.
Harsh words go deeper than you think. We listen more than you would guess.
We dont feel heard. Wed rather be respected than entertained.
We wont tell you whats wrong if we dont trust you.
Take the time to listen more.
poker face non-anxious presence non-judgmental confidentiality love – Love never fails.
Resources Walt Mueller- Youth Culture 101 Chap Clark- Hurt Shane Hipps- Flickering Pixels Kenda Creasy Dean- Almost Christian and The Godbearing Life Andrew Root- Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry Center for Parent and Youth Understanding cpyu.org