2. Healthy Dating Relationships Grade 11 Physical and Health Education

3. Healthy Couples : Trust and support each other Are honest with each other Respect each other Share in making decisions value each others views Always feel safe with each other Support each others goals Listen to each other Accept each others differences

4. Dating Violence: Your boyfriend or girlfriend may be abusive if: Extreme Jealousy-He/she wont let you talk to others of the opposite sex even if they are friends. Extreme Jealousy-He/she wont let you talk to others of the opposite sex even if they are friends. Controlling attitudes and behaviours- Continually criticizes what you wear and what you do, tells you that you are ugly, stupid etc. and wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times. Controlling attitudes and behaviours- Continually criticizes what you wear and what you do, tells you that you are ugly, stupid etc. and wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times.

5. Drastic mood swings and explosive anger-becomes very angry over trivial things or becomes violent when using alcohol or drugs. Drastic mood swings and explosive anger-becomes very angry over trivial things or becomes violent when using alcohol or drugs. Makes you feel dependent on him-asks you to stop spending time with your friends and family Makes you feel dependent on him-asks you to stop spending time with your friends and family

6. You may become a victim of abuse if you: Feel you cant live without him/her Feel you cant live without him/her Feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep him/her from getting angry Feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep him/her from getting angry Believe his/her jealousy is a sign of love Believe his/her jealousy is a sign of love

7. Feel that you cannot tell anyone what he/she is doing to you because you think they wont take you seriously or believe you, or that they will think that you are stupid to stay with him/her and you deserve to be abused Feel that you cannot tell anyone what he/she is doing to you because you think they wont take you seriously or believe you, or that they will think that you are stupid to stay with him/her and you deserve to be abused Feel that you are the only one who can help him and try to reform him Feel that you are the only one who can help him and try to reform him Stay with him if he hits you-no matter how sorry he is later Stay with him if he hits you-no matter how sorry he is later

8. Rules for Fair Fighting: these rules will help resolve the conflict without escalating it. Avoid physical aggression such as hitting pushing, grabbing etc. Avoid physical aggression such as hitting pushing, grabbing etc. Stay focused on the issue at hand and avoid bringing up other issues. Stay focused on the issue at hand and avoid bringing up other issues.

9. Avoid name-calling. Feelings only get hurt and this is just a manipulation that serves to re- direct the focus and avoid the situation at hand. Avoid name-calling. Feelings only get hurt and this is just a manipulation that serves to re- direct the focus and avoid the situation at hand. Avoid putting blame on the other person. Using I statements shifts the blame and helps the individual assume some of the responsibility for the issues at hand. Avoid putting blame on the other person. Using I statements shifts the blame and helps the individual assume some of the responsibility for the issues at hand.

10. Types of Abuse: Physical Abuse-any aggressive behaviour inflicted on a persons body. (choking, slapping, punching, kicking, spitting, etc.)

11. Mental/Emotional Abuse-behaviour and verbal statements that destroy a persons self-worth. It is intended to control and manipulate. (mind games, name calling, put downs, giving rules to follow, threatening, extreme jealousy, ignoring you, silent treatment, lies, manipulation, blaming) Mental/Emotional Abuse-behaviour and verbal statements that destroy a persons self-worth. It is intended to control and manipulate. (mind games, name calling, put downs, giving rules to follow, threatening, extreme jealousy, ignoring you, silent treatment, lies, manipulation, blaming)

12. Sexual Abuse-all forms of non- consensual sexual behaviour. (anal, oral or vaginal sex, unwanted kissing or fondling, being forced to watch others engage in sexual activities, violent behaviour during sex, name- calling of a sexual nature, forcing you to watch, buy or participate in pornography, not allowing birth control)

13. Sexual Assault- consists of any form of sexual activity upon another person without that persons consent. Sexual Harassment-consists of sexual advances, requests for sexual favours or other inappropriate verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature.

14. Sexual Assault/Date Rape 80% of women are assaulted by someone they know. 80% of women are assaulted by someone they know. A woman is raped every 29 minutes in Canada A woman is raped every 29 minutes in Canada 72% of attacked women say nothing 72% of attacked women say nothing 60% of rapes happen on a date 60% of rapes happen on a date 92% of women are sexually harassed 92% of women are sexually harassed 70% experience verbal threats 70% experience verbal threats 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted by the age of 18 1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted by the age of 18 1 in 8 men will be sexually abused by the age of 18 1 in 8 men will be sexually abused by the age of 18 56% of men say pornography played a role in their sexual offence 56% of men say pornography played a role in their sexual offence 75% of men who assault their wives witnessed their own fathers assaulting their mothers 75% of men who assault their wives witnessed their own fathers assaulting their mothers

15. Date Rape Information: Most friendships, acquaintances, and dates never lead to violence, of course. But, sadly, sometimes it happens. When forced sex occurs between two people who already know each other, it is known as date rape or acquaintance rape. Most friendships, acquaintances, and dates never lead to violence, of course. But, sadly, sometimes it happens. When forced sex occurs between two people who already know each other, it is known as date rape or acquaintance rape. Even though rape involves forced sex, rape is not about sex or passion. Rape has nothing to do with love. Rape is an act of aggression and violence. Even though rape involves forced sex, rape is not about sex or passion. Rape has nothing to do with love. Rape is an act of aggression and violence. You may hear some people say that those who have been raped were somehow "asking for it" because of the clothes they wore or the way they acted. That's wrong: The person who is raped is not to blame. Rape is always the fault of the rapist. One person never owes the other person sex. If sex is forced against someone's will, that's rape. You may hear some people say that those who have been raped were somehow "asking for it" because of the clothes they wore or the way they acted. That's wrong: The person who is raped is not to blame. Rape is always the fault of the rapist. One person never owes the other person sex. If sex is forced against someone's will, that's rape. Someone who really cares about you will respect your wishes and not force or pressure you to have sex. Someone who really cares about you will respect your wishes and not force or pressure you to have sex.

16. Protecting Yourself The best defense against date rape is to try to prevent it whenever possible. Here are some things both girls and guys can do: Avoid secluded places (this may even mean your room or your partner's) until you trust your partner. Avoid secluded places (this may even mean your room or your partner's) until you trust your partner. Don't spend time alone with someone who makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. This means following your instincts and removing yourself from situations that you don't feel good about. Don't spend time alone with someone who makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. This means following your instincts and removing yourself from situations that you don't feel good about.

17. S tay sober and aware. If you're with someone you don't know very well, be aware and stay in control. Also, be aware of your date's ability to consent to sexual activity - you may become guilty of committing rape if the other person is not in a condition to respond or react. S tay sober and aware. If you're with someone you don't know very well, be aware and stay in control. Also, be aware of your date's ability to consent to sexual activity - you may become guilty of committing rape if the other person is not in a condition to respond or react. Know what you want. Be clear about what kind of relationship you want with another person. If you are not sure, then ask the other person to respect your feelings and to give you time. Know what you want. Be clear about what kind of relationship you want with another person. If you are not sure, then ask the other person to respect your feelings and to give you time. Go out with a group of friends to keep watch Go out with a group of friends to keep watch Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel threatened. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel threatened.

18. Date Rape Drugs: Rohypnol Now rapists have a new weapon to use for their crime; date rape drugs! These powerful medications make it virtually impossible for the victim to escape being raped. Their amnesic effects make it difficult for the victim to recognize what happened. One of the most powerful drugs, Rohypnol, can be deadly when mixed with alcohol or other drugs. The effect of the drug triples when mixed in this manner. The victim cannot speak, remember or respond! Now rapists have a new weapon to use for their crime; date rape drugs! These powerful medications make it virtually impossible for the victim to escape being raped. Their amnesic effects make it difficult for the victim to recognize what happened. One of the most powerful drugs, Rohypnol, can be deadly when mixed with alcohol or other drugs. The effect of the drug triples when mixed in this manner. The victim cannot speak, remember or respond! Rohypnol, manufactured by Hoffman LaRoche is from the class of drugs called benzodiazepines. This drug, intended for use as a surgical anesthetic, muscle relaxant, or sleeping pill, has a rapid onset of action of about 15 minutes. Rohypnol, manufactured by Hoffman LaRoche is from the class of drugs called benzodiazepines. This drug, intended for use as a surgical anesthetic, muscle relaxant, or sleeping pill, has a rapid onset of action of about 15 minutes. Street names for the drug: Roffies, Rophies, R-2s, LaRocha, Mexican Valium, Rope, Rib, Roach, Roofenol, Ruffies, or Roches Street names for the drug: Roffies, Rophies, R-2s, LaRocha, Mexican Valium, Rope, Rib, Roach, Roofenol, Ruffies, or Roches

19. GHB (Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate) also offers deadly potential. GHB (Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate) also offers deadly potential. Although it presently is not produced in the United States or Canada, rapists make it available here. Street names for GHB are Liquid X, Grievous Bodily Harm, Saltwater, Scoop, Easy Lay, and Gamma-O. Most commonly found as a liquid or powder, GHB is colorless, odorless and tasteless although some claim it has a slightly salty taste. Although it presently is not produced in the United States or Canada, rapists make it available here. Street names for GHB are Liquid X, Grievous Bodily Harm, Saltwater, Scoop, Easy Lay, and Gamma-O. Most commonly found as a liquid or powder, GHB is colorless, odorless and tasteless although some claim it has a slightly salty taste. Onset of action is 15-20 minutes with marked lethargy, extreme intoxication, impaired judgement nausea and vomiting and dizziness noted. GHB, when mixed with alcohol, kills!! Onset of action is 15-20 minutes with marked lethargy, extreme intoxication, impaired judgement nausea and vomiting and dizziness noted. GHB, when mixed with alcohol, kills!!

20. If you wake up with little recollection of the evening before, have a severe hangover in spite of having had very little to drink, or feel like someone may have had sex with you (although you cant remember), you may have been drugged and raped. Go immediately to an emergency room and seek help. If you wake up with little recollection of the evening before, have a severe hangover in spite of having had very little to drink, or feel like someone may have had sex with you (although you cant remember), you may have been drugged and raped. Go immediately to an emergency room and seek help. Remember, if you, or a friend feels dizzy, confused, or have other sudden unexplained symptoms after drinking any beverage, respond quickly! Call a family member, friend, police, doctor or 911 for help in getting to a hospital. Immediate action can prevent rape and may also save your life. Remember, if you, or a friend feels dizzy, confused, or have other sudden unexplained symptoms after drinking any beverage, respond quickly! Call a family member, friend, police, doctor or 911 for help in getting to a hospital. Immediate action can prevent rape and may also save your life.

21. What if it happens to me? Be with someone who cares Be with someone who cares Get medical attention Get medical attention Reporting? This is your decision to make. Reporting? This is your decision to make. Decide who you want to tell. Decide who you want to tell. Talk to a trained counsellor Talk to a trained counsellor Do NOT blame yourself!! Your behaviour did not cause the sexual assault-his did! Do NOT blame yourself!! Your behaviour did not cause the sexual assault-his did!