1. Nurturing Parenting Program
Week 3: Nurturing as a lifestyle;
Building parent-child bonding and attachment (EMPATHY)
Facilitator:
Phone: (707)
Date/time: Monday & Fridays 1:00-3:00

2. WEEK 3 - AGENDA Welcome Check In & Icebreaker Agreement Brainstorm
Last Week Review
Competencies
Nurturing as a Lifestyle
Nurturing Parenting Activity
Break
Bonding and Attachment
Theory of Attachment
Closing Activities – Home Practice Assignment, Evaluation, Praise Circle, Paperwork

3. “The nurturer creates the nurtured”
WELCOME AND CHECK IN
“The nurturer creates the nurtured”
Share your name
How has your week been going?
What did you do to nurture yourself this past week?
Table of Contents

4. AGREEMENT REVIEW We will respect everyone We will listen and not judge
We will keep the confidentiality of others
We will not crosstalk
Our cell phone will be silent
We will remain substance free

5. LAST WEEK REVIEW: NURTURING PARENTING CONCEPTS
ATTACHMENT
Having unconditional love for your children.
EMPATHY
Helping children meet their physical as well as their emotional needs.
NURTURING YOURSELF
Finding time for themselves as individuals and as couples.
GENTLE TOUCH
Massaging children, holding them and rocking them.
DISCIPLINE
Techniques other than spanking and yelling at kids.
EXPRESS FEELINGS
Being able to express their feelings in appropriate ways.
EXPECTATIONS OF SELF AND CHILDREN
Having appropriate expectations of themselves and their children.

6. CHILDREN’S BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
Critical Windows of Development:
VISION
Birth to 6 Months
VOCABULARY & SPEECH
Birth to 3 years
EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Birth to 18 months
LOGIC AND MATH
One to 4 years

7. WEEK 3 - COMPETENCIES
Parents can identify the four character traits that result from parenting experiences in childhood.
Parents can identify the practice of nurturing parenting.
Parents can define personal parenting strengths and parenting areas needing improvement.
Parents can define the concepts and practices of bonding, attachment, attunement and empathy
Parents can explain why bonding and attachment are important parenting practices.
Table of Contents

8. NURTURING AS A LIFESTYLE
Goal: To increase parent’s awareness of nurturing as a lifestyle
What does Nurturing mean?

9. NURTURING AS A LIFESTYLE
To “Nurture” means to care for, to bring up, and to nourish.
There is no greater parenting practice.
As you nurture your children it’s important to nourish yourself.
Taking care of your own “self” helps parents nurture their children.
The opposite of nurturing is abuse, neglect and violence.

10. NURTURING AS A LIFESTYLE
To “Nurture” means to care for, to bring up, and to nourish.
One nurturing memory I have of my childhood is . . .
One nurturing memory I want my children to have of me is . . .

11. Healing your Inner Child
If we weren’t nurtured as a child, we have benefit from working on healing our own inner child
If we are able to do this, learn to love our inner child, nurturing our own children might become easier
Reading…

12. “Nurturing as a Lifestyle”
NURTURING PARENTING
Review Chapter 2 of the Parenting Handbook called,
“Nurturing as a Lifestyle”
NURTURING PARENTING
All the time Most of the Time Some of the Time Hardly Any of the Time Never
HURTING PARENTING
Never Hardly Any of the Time Some of the Time Most of the Time All of the Time
Nurturing Parenting to a high degree (8 or 9) means “Hurting Parenting” is at a low degree (1 0r 2).
The more “nurturing” you are, the less “hurting” you are – and vice versa
The goal is to stay nurturing all the time (10) or at the very least, often (7,8,9), and to keep “hurting” out of parenting altogether (0).
If parents practice nurturing all the time or a high percentage of the time, children would develop very nurturing ways of treating others.
The goal is to stay “nurturing” all the time (10) or at the very least, (9 8 7), and to keep “hurting” out of parenting altogether (0).

13. KEY POINTS TO NURTURING
NURTURING PARENTING
KEY POINTS TO NURTURING
Children who are nurtured at a high level in turn develop nurturing ways of treating others.
If hurting parenting is practiced often, children develop the “victim” part of their personality and come to believe that being victimized is a natural and frequent part of life.
Life as a victim gives birth to life as a perpetrator. Perpetrators are those who victimize others.
The training to be a perpetrator comes from experiences as a victim.

14. NURTURING PARENTING ACTIVITY
Everyone will draw each of the four distinct personality traits individuals have. The drawings can be abstract figures and colors or literal pictures of people or scenes. Once completed, share with the group thoughts and images.
The NURTURER or CAREGIVER
The NURTURED
The part of our personality that is capable of giving care, concern & compassion
The part of our personality who is capable of receiving care, seeking closeness & attachments.
The PERPETRATOR or BULLY
The VICTIM
The part of our personality who can be cruel, abusive to self and others, is capable of hurting others.
Part of our personality who believes the hurt and pain given by others is justifed & valid.

15. Be mindful of the noise level
BREAK TIME
Be mindful of the noise level
No smoking within 100 feet of the front door
Please return from breaks on time
Table of Contents

16. PARENT-CHILD BONDING AND ATTACHMENT
GOAL: To increase parents’ knowledge and skills in establishing strong parent-child attachments.
Remember a time when you felt secure and close to a loved one. Who was it and why did you feel close?
Can you remember a time when you felt distant from a family member?
Who was your inspiration as a child?
Think of a response for each question. Share one aloud.

17. WAYS TO BOND WITH YOUR BABY
Bonding is generally recognized as the period shortly after birth when the baby and parents begin to get to know each other. There are several things parents can do to build the parent-child bond.
Touch your baby
Talk to your baby
Smile at your baby
Look at your baby
Respecting your baby’s cues
Feeding your baby

18. BONDING 101: DID YOU KNOW? Touch is first sense that is developed.
Babies can recognize their mother’s voice from the voices of others and will turn toward their mom when the mom is talking
Smiling communicates your pleasure and reassurance
Being aware of your baby’s cues is called Attunement. Being attuned to your baby is a very important function of bonding.
Crying is a form of communication. The manner in which parents respond to their crying child will strengthen or weaken their level of bonding.
The smells of the newborn’s head, skin, poop, spit up, and other bodily fluids become chemically imprinted on the parent’s brain and he/she will be able to pick out her baby’s smell with about 90% accuracy.

19. BONDING AND ATTACHMENT
What are some ways you bond with your child?

20. Parent-Child Attachment
THEORY OF ATTACHMENT
Parent-Child Attachment
The bond that begins at birth between parents and their baby forms a positive and close relationship that continues to develop as the child grows older. This long term bond is called attachment. This is based on an idea that an infant’s first relationship experience shapes the child’s social, emotional, and cognitive developments. When the caregiver responds to the child in a NURTURING way, it helps form the emotional basis of trust and security.

21. THEORY OF ATTACHMENT Building Strong Parent-Child Attachments
ATTUNEMENT: being present and responsive to the child’s needs
Ways parents can building a strong and secure parent-child attachment:
Hold your baby and use gentle touch
Learn infant massage and make it a daily part of a baby’s life
Make eye contact and smile!
Talk to your child.
Read books with colorful pictures.
Play with your child.
Show interest in your child’s day.
Use positive discipline techniques.
Have appropriate expectations.
Think music

22. QUESTIONS FOR SELF-REFLECTION
Do you feel more attached to one child more than another? Why?
What can you do to increase your attachment to your children?

23. CLOSING ACTIVITIES Home Practice Evaluation/Competencies AAPI
Read Chapter 2 – Nurturing as a Lifestyle
Read Chapter 4 – Building Parent-Child Bonding and Attachment - Complete any written exercises
Do something to nurture yourself
Evaluation/Competencies
AAPI

24. CLOSING ACTIVITIES Praise Circle Paperwork Compliment yourself
Compliment someone else
Share something new
Paperwork

25. Ages & Stages: NEXT CLASS Wednesday, January 2nd, 2012
Expectations and Development of Children;
Infant & Toddler Development
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2012
5:00 – 7:00 p.m.

26. The PERPETRATOR or BULLY
NURTURING PARENTING ACTIVITY Draw an abstract figure, symbol or literal pictures of people or scenes to represent each of the personality traits.
The NURTURER or CAREGIVER
The NURTURED
The part of our personality that is capable of giving care, concern & compassion
The part of our personality who is capable of receiving care, seeking closeness & attachments.
The PERPETRATOR or BULLY
The VICTIM
The part of our personality who can be cruel, abusive to self and others, is capable of hurting others.
Part of our personality who believes the hurt and pain given by others is justifed & valid.