1. Chapter 4 The Sacrament of matrimony

2. Read pages 110-123 on your own over the next week. We will not be covering these in class. You will be responsible to know vocabulary from these pages. Sex God Chapter 8-Johnny and June handout

3. Have you ever been around an older couple who have been married for a long time, and whose love “spills over”? What is like being with them? How is there relationship different than most? We are fractured when we are only wanted for our physical selves – we are split? Have you ever felt like this or have you ever treated someone like this? How did it feel? Have you ever “raced too far ahead of the progression” (p.157) in a relationship? How did that work out? What are your opinions on marriage? What does a good marriage look like from your observations? What does a poor marriage look like? Is love enough of a reason to stay with a spouse? Journal #4

4. Prior to entering the sacrament of marriage, it is important that couples discuss the following issues: – the roles in marriage – support of the family (i.e. in-laws) – issue of dealing with change – Children – coping with conflict – partnership – religious beliefs – financial issues – hopes and dreams

5. Chapter 4 The Sacrament of matrimony

6. Remember: – Catholic Church defines a true marriage as a permanent and faithful love bond made freely. It is a deliberate choice and promise by two people for each other over any and all others. Covenant-a sacred and unbreakable agreement between human beings or between God and a human being that involves mutual commitments. – Ex: Abraham and God, God and Noah (These are not conditional to Israel's behavior) and Moses and God (conditional on Israel’s obedience) – New Covenant-Jesus Christ Salvation for the World  The Church has always viewed marriage as a covenantal  "... in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health" echoes the kind of love that God pledged to God’s people. Contract-can be terminated by people, covenants can never be terminated

7. Can be married between 16-17 – With parental consent, you have been married already and divorced, you get an order from the court where your parents reside “Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.” – Austin Gay Couple Becomes First to Wed in Texas handout Common-law marriage, also known as "informal marriage” – Sign a declaration of you marriage under oath. OR – They meet all of the following conditions: the couple agrees that they are married; they live together in Texas; and They represent themselves to other individuals that they are married to one another Don’t have to be a resident of Texas Marriages cannot be conducted inside Texas prisons. Marriage in the State of TX

8. A man under age 16 and a woman under 14 cannot validly enter marriage If either the man or woman is physically incapable of sexual intercourse, the marriage is not valid A person who is legally married to another may not be married until the other marriage is deemed invalid A person may not marry descendants or ancestors in a direct line – (e.g. parent, grandparent, son, daughter, etc…) Simply Loving handout Catholic requirements

9. Is marriage equality a civil-rights issue? – A civil right is an enforceable right or privilege, which if interfered with by another gives rise to an action for injury Is this only now an issue because our reasons for marriage have evolved? Why should two individuals of the same sex be treated any differently than married couples who cannot conceive children? Don’t single parents make a valuable contribution to family life? If so, why should same-sex partners not be viewed the same way? How do we get away from the “hate the sin, love the sinner” mentality? Questions to consider

10. Civil  MARRIAGE a legal agreement (contract) between a man and a woman  MARRIAGE LICENSE issued by City Hall necessary to be married  CITY HALL Judge or Justice of the Peace requires two witnesses  JUDGE OR JUSTICE OF THE PEACE performs the ceremony and signs contract to make marriage legal Canon  MARRIAGE a sacrament bonding of two people (covenent)  MARRIAGE LICENSE civil and Church license issued by priest  CHURCH WEDDING blessing of the Church, performed in front of family and friends – usually have Eucharistic Celebration  PRIEST performs ceremony and signs canon law contract & makes marriage legal Civil vs canon law

11. Civil  THE SERVICE exchange of vows  LEGAL AGREEMENT marriage is a legal agreement  CONTRACT marriage requires responsibilities to be met  DIVORCE legal separation of two married people division of property Canon  THE MASS Eucharistic Celebration and exchange of vows  COVENANT sacred promise of made between the couple and God  SACRAMENT marriage is a sacrament  ANNULMENT not divorce necessary to be married in the Church again

12. Chapter 4 The Sacrament of matrimony

13. Covenant-a sacred and unbreakable agreement between human beings or between God and a human being that involves mutual commitments. – Church has always viewed marriage as a covenant Contract-can be terminated by people, covenants can never be terminated Flow of wedding ceremony – Liturgy of the Word  Nuptial blessing  Consent of spouses to marry  Eucharist Lazo (lasso)- is a large rosary, a ribbon or a decorated cord that is symbolically draped around the necks or shoulders of the bride and the groom, groom first Arras- The groom gives the bride thirteen gold coins blessed by the priest. The Arras is given to the bride as a symbol of the unquestionable trust and confidence the groom has in her. Things to remember

14. “What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life—to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other.” George Elliot

15. The sacrament takes place after the Liturgy of the Word, couples literally give themselves to each other – "... in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health” and to “love and honor you all of my days.” Mutual consent brings the marriage into being. Sex consummates the marriage, this union makes the marriage indissoluble. Marriage as sacrament

16.  If one of the partners is not Catholic  Permission for the marriage must come from the local bishop  The Catholic partner must promise that he or she will do all in his or her power to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic church  The non-Catholic partner is informed of the promises made by the Catholic partner  Both partners are instructed in the requirements of the Sacrament of Matrimony and family life what IF YOUR PARTNER IS NOT CATHOLIC?

17. So you wanted to get married under the stars, on a beach, or in a Las Vegas Drive thru… – Catholic marriages must take place in a church… Bishop may allow this in unique circumstances (not sure what those would be) – Takes place in a church because the marriage is a sacrament of the Church Disney is out too – “U.S. bishops, including the Bishop of Orlando, Florida, have stated in the past that getting married at Disneyland is unacceptable, because they hold that this secular entertainment environment is not a suitable place to celebrate the Catholic sacrament of matrimony

18.  Pre-marriage inventory  Helps a couple gauge the effectiveness of their communication with one another  FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study)  One of the most widely used inventories  Engaged Encounter/ Pre-Cana  A weekend retreat, series of classes, or parish based program  A time to listen to presentations and reflect before meeting one- on-one with the future spouse all PARISHES WILL WANT