1. What’s It Mean For Your Child?
Bullying At School
What’s It Mean For Your Child?

2. But it’s just part of growing up…
Natural Conflict Bullying
Happens repeatedly
Done on purpose
Serious - threat of physical harm or emotional hurt
Strong emotional reaction by victim
Happens occasionally
Accidental
Not Serious
Equal emotional reactions

3. Continued… Bullying Natural Conflict Seeking power or control
Trying to gain material things or power
No remorse – blames victim
No effort to solve problem
Natural Conflict
Not seeking power or attention
Not trying to get something
Remorseful – takes responsibility
Effort to solve the problem

4. Profile of a Bully Impulsive Quick-tempered Lacks empathy Rule-breaker
Positive attitude toward
violence in media
Average to above average student
Leadership ability

5. Bullies are likely to…
Engage in other anti-social activities such as vandalism, shoplifting, truancy, smoking, drug/alcohol use
Have been bullied themselves
Manipulate others to join in the behavior
Deny they are doing anything wrong
Blame others for their behavior
Blame the victim - “They deserved it.”
Display defiance

6. Profile of a Victim Cautious and quiet nature Non-assertive
Negative attitude toward violence in the media
Appears physically or emotionally weak
Lacks humor and pro-social skills
Few social connections

7. Victims are likely to… Feel depressed and/or lonely
Consider themselves failures
Suffer from migraines and stomach problems
See themselves as stupid or unattractive
Think often about suicide
Suffer from anxiety/panic attacks
Cry easily
Experience bad dreams
Develop nervous habits – nail biting, twirling hair, etc.

8. Signs Your Child May Be a Victim
Has unexplained bruises, marks, scratches
Doesn’t want to come to school
Complains of headaches, stomach pain
Cries in sleep or can’t sleep
Loses interest in schoolwork
Appears sad, depressed, or irritable
Seems to have few or no friends, is socially isolated

9. A Bully’s Impact on Learning
Promotes a negative environment for learning by encouraging a “climate” of fear
Distracts ALL students from learning
Interferes with the development of positive social relationships
Causes a loss of instructional time while problems are being addressed
Increases the rate of truancy

10. As a parent… …accept the possibility your child might be a bully!
Don’t deny or make excuses for your child’s behavior.

11. As a parent of a bully… Don’t ignore it because…
Understand that bullying is a LEARNED behavior and can be unlearned
Don’t dismiss it as “part of growing up” or “boys will be boys”
Hold your child responsible for their own actions – no excuses
Explore the reasons your child is acting out this way
Seek outside help if needed
Don’t blame yourself
Make it clear that bullying behavior will not be tolerated
Set consistent consequences that do not involve physical force or verbal berating
Don’t ignore it because…

12. …according to current research:
20% of middle school students report having bullied someone else at least “several times”
Middle School bullies are 4 times likelier than non-bullies to have more than one criminal conviction by the age of 24
Bullies tend to gravitate toward “the wrong crowd” and often develop substance abuse issues.
Young bullies grow into oppositional, defiant, and aggressive adults with a strong need to dominate or control others making positive long term relationships difficult.

13. As the parent of a victim…
Listen to your child and take their situation seriously.
Watch your child for signs of depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts
Teach your child to walk with confidence and to focus on personal strengths and talents
Provide on-going support and encourage new friendships
Remember that “hitting back” is not a choice at school

14. Let your child KNOW they are loved!

15. Steps to take:
Reassure your child that adult intervention can stop bullies and that we will keep him or her safe.
Write down the details with dates, times, and names.
Contact your child’s team leader and work with teachers to alleviate the problem first.
If the situation doesn’t resolve, call your counselor.
Document your concerns and actions taken in writing.
Do not contact the bully/family directly.

16. What to expect from school…
Written district policies and school procedures are in place and will be enforced.
Staff will take concerns seriously and address them immediately
Adult supervision will be supplemented in areas where bullying has or is likely to occur
Staff will be notified so they can monitor the situation and provide help, encouragement and support to the victim
You will be informed about steps taken to stop the bullying.