0. RECLAIMING ONE’S LIFE AFTER ABUSE
6/29/2014 9:02 PM
RECLAIMING ONE’S LIFE AFTER ABUSE
Darlene J. Harris
San Diego City College
World Cultures Program 9/23/14
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1. DEFINITIONS
Reclaiming
To recover,
To take back what was taken

2. WHAT IS RAPE / SEXUAL ABUSE
IDENTIFYING CRIMES
WHAT IS RAPE / SEXUAL ABUSE
Rape is any kind of sexual intercourse (vaginal, oral, or anal) that is committed against a person's will or is committed with physical force or with a threat to hurt the victim or another person. It is also considered rape if the victim is intoxicated or unconscious and unable to give consent. Rape and sexual assault are not about sexual desire--they are about power and control.
American society is the most violent in the industrialized world. Many aspects of the American culture contribute to a climate that fosters rape, including the objectification of women in advertising, violent pornography, and the oppression of women in the legal system.
Karen Calivart -And He Restoreth My Soul published by Westbow Press a Division of Thomas Nelson and Zondervan 2011

3. IDENTIFYING CRIMES Molestation
is the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts or exposure
Babies as young as 1 to 8 days old have
been reported to have been sexually
penetrated and sodomized by teenage
and adult abusers
The 15 year old who raped his 8 day old daughter was release because of a technicality he didn’t received a speedy trial. 1-day-old and still in the hospital, after a routine examination, vaginal tears were found on the infant. Police are only saying the tears were made with an “unknown object”. He received 10 minus the 11 months he had served. At the information I found was that the remaining part of his time would be served on probation.

4. IDENTIFYING CRIMES Child abuse (maltreatment) physical abuse
molestation
psychological abuse (what are some examples)
neglect

5. WHO ARE THE ABUSERS?
Abusers can be parents or other family members, caregivers such as teachers or babysitters, acquaintances (including other children), and (in very rare instances) strangers

6. IDENTIFYING CRIMES Domestic Violence
The willful intimidation, physical assault, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another

7. WHO IS AFFECTED
Women are attacked about six times more often by offenders with whom they had an intimate relationship than are male violence victims
Nearly 32 percent of all female homicide victims are killed by their husbands, former husbands or boyfriends

8. WHO IS AFFECTED
In contrast, only 3 percent of male homicide victims are killed by their wives, former wives or girlfriends
Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends
Because husband/boyfriends rarely report intimate relationship abuse. Therefore, most of the data I will share today is related to women.

9. WHO IS AFFECTED BY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten
Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self- harm if presented with a breakup
Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually
How many of you know of someone who experienced Domestic Violence?

10. WARNING SIGNS The existence of emotional, mental and verbal abuse
Threats and intimidation
Isolation from family and friends

11. WARNING SIGNS Controls all the family finances
Violence may escalate when alcohol / drugs are used
Gives expensive gifts after violent acts
Uses electronic devices to keep track of your location
Do you know of anyone who receives excessive phone calls from their spouse or intimate partner?

12. TRUE OR FALSE Children make up stories about being sexually assaulted
People who sexually assault children are strangers to the child
Most sexual assaults happen in the home or in the home of people the child knows
ANSWERS - FALSE , FALSE, FALSE, TRUE, FALSE

13. TRUE OR FALSE
30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household
The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $5.8 billion each year, $4.1 billion of which is for direct medical and mental health services
Domestic violence is one of the most chronically under reported crimes
True, True, True

14. INJURIES DUE TO INTIMATE-PARTNER VIOLENCE
scratches, bruises, broken bones, dislocated joints
head or spinal cord injuries
chipped or broken teeth
internal injuries
Nearly 80% of those who receive medical care are treated in a hospital, and 43.6% of those victims spend one or more nights there
rape.
Domestic Violence Victims and Rape Victims lose days from work which impacts their co-workers as well as the bottom line (Employer Income)

15. DAMAGES CAUSED BY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Emotional/Mental Blackmail
Loss of Safety, Loss of boundaries, fear
Abandonment – when incest is the crime
Depression – psychological imbalance
Sadness, overwhelmed
Feelings of Betrayal – especially when the crime involves someone the victim knows or when a parent is the perpetrator
Guilt – blaming oneself
Shame
Death – as a result of the crime

16. THE ECONOMIC IMPACT- COSTS
Studies indicate from $87,000 to $240,776 per rape
The cost of domestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost of productivity
use.gov/sites/default/files/docs/sexual_assault_report_ pdf

17. FEDERAL SENTENCING
A favorable decision from the courts does not bring healing
Federal law maximum sentence for sexual assault is 20 years + monetary fines
Federal law provides compensation to victims for expenses directly related to the crime such as medical, physical and occupational therapy, attorney fees and other related expenses
See more at:

18. PENALTY FOR RAPE IN CALIFORNIA
Victim over 14 years of age (but not age of consent) the potential sentence seven to eleven years
Victim under 14 years of age the potential sentence nine to thirteen years (this is Statutory Rape)

19. PENALTY FOR THE CRIME Domestic Violence
Prosecution Attorney determines if the crime is a
Misdemeanor vs.Felony
Please consult an attorney specializing in Domestic Violence Law.

20. PENALTY FOR THE CRIME
The state might also consider the defendant's prior or current criminal record and decide whether to pursue enhanced sentencing
Note: State laws are constantly changing -- please contact a California criminal defense attorney or conduct your own legal research to verify the state law(s) you are researching
How then can a survivor move from a fragmented state of being to wholeness?

21. WHAT CAN WE DO?
A Home is ALWAYS meant for a family to live peacefully.
Healing means acknowledging, accepting that we were hurt. And that that hurt involved three areas:
body, mind, and spirit
So, is healing possible? YES!
If YES then HOW?

22. A Safety Plan - A prevention center can help with this
HEALING
Healing is not an overnight process. It takes time…..
A Safety Plan - A prevention center can help with this
Center For Community Solutions
Therapy - Choose carefully (recommendations/ referrals)

23. Healing - Continued
Beyond Survivor - Is a Three Stage Process for healing developed by Rachel Grant or
Network - Develop a strong network of trusted friends/family to help you through
Groups - Joining a recommended group is very helpful because you don’t feel so alone.

24. DEVELOPING A NEW MIND-SET
Parents - Make an effort to know children's friends and their families.
Boundaries - Teach, communicate and set
Education - parents, schools, higher education
Create and develop - listening communication skills
Demonstrate RESPECT in the HOME

25. DATING ETIQUETTE TO REMEMBER!
Trust your instincts and Trust yourself and act accordingly
Examine your own feelings about sex
Non-verbals signals- these are 70% to 90% of our communication
Be Independent and Aware of your Surroundings

26. The soul is a lot more fragile than the human flesh.”
So Be Kind To YOU!
Thank you it has been my pleasure to be in your presence.