1. Deconstructing Your Analysis Essay
English III
Mrs. Oualline
Ms. Perkins
Coach Svien
3 February 2016
BELL WORK:
Pick up a Self Score Rubric and locate your completed GATSBY ESSAY.

2. The Rubric Your essay will be scored based on the following criteria:
Thesis Statement (10 points)
Topic Sentences (10 points)
Examples (30 points)
Quality of Analysis (30 points)
Correctness of Style (20 points)
Today, you are going to DECONSTRUCT and SCORE your own essay based on the RUBRIC.

3. Thesis Statements
First we are going to take a look at your THESIS STATEMENT.
Highlight your thesis PINK.
Now READ THROUGH YOUR THESIS looking for the following:
The author’s name and the title of the work
F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Great Gatsby
A thematic idea
Hope, Carelessness, Honesty, Etc.
A statement of THEME

4. Thesis Statements Here are some really good examples:
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald presents the idea that hope drives a person to do great things, but it may also set a person up for great disappointment.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that distrust can cause a person to damage close relationships which can eventually lead to a lonely existence.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that the obsession with a single dream can eventually lead a person to disillusionment and ruin.

5. The title of the novel is underlined or italicized.
Thesis Statements
Here are some really good examples:
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald presents the idea that hope drives a person to do great things, but it may also set a person up for great disappointment.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that distrust can cause a person to damage close relationships which can eventually lead to a lonely existence.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that the obsession with a single dream can eventually lead a person to disillusionment and ruin.
The title of the novel is underlined or italicized.

6. The name of the author is included.
Thesis Statements
Here are some really good examples:
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald presents the idea that hope drives a person to do great things, but it may also set a person up for great disappointment.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that distrust can cause a person to damage close relationships which can eventually lead to a lonely existence.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that the obsession with a single dream can eventually lead a person to disillusionment and ruin.
The name of the author is included.

7. The statement includes a clear thematic idea.
Thesis Statements
Here are some really good examples:
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald presents the idea that hope drives a person to do great things, but it may also set a person up for great disappointment.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that distrust can cause a person to damage close relationships which can eventually lead to a lonely existence.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that the obsession with a single dream can eventually lead a person to disillusionment and ruin.
The statement includes a clear thematic idea.

8. Thesis Statements Here are some really good examples:
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald presents the idea that hope drives a person to do great things, but it may also set a person up for great disappointment.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that distrust can cause a person to damage close relationships which can eventually lead to a lonely existence.
In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald suggests that the obsession with a single dream can eventually lead a person to disillusionment and ruin.
Includes a FULL statement of theme connecting to a universal message explored in the novel.

9. Thesis Statements
Now evaluate your THESIS STATEMENT based on the following rubric:
Excellent
No Thesis
No Thematic Statement
Generic

10. Topic Sentences
Each BODY PARAGRAPH should have a TOPIC SENTENCE, the “mini-thesis” stating the purpose of the paragraph.
Highlight your topic sentences BLUE.

11. Topic Sentences
Here is an example using the topic sentence format that I gave you in class:
In the story, the character of Gatsby is hopeful.
Gatsby, however, never realizes that his hopefulness will eventually lead to his own downfall. ¶# ¶#

12. Topic Sentences
Here is an example using the topic sentence format that I gave you in class:
In the story, the character of Gatsby is hopeful.
Gatsby, however, never realizes that his hopefulness will eventually lead to his own downfall.
Thematic idea from thesis ¶# ¶#
Statement of THEME from thesis.

13. Topic Sentences
But you could also construct unique topic sentences to fit your essay and writing style.
Gatsby’s obsession transcends reality, and his dream version of Daisy can never live up to the real Daisy.
Gatsby’s inability to differentiate between his dream and reality leads to great disappointment and, ultimately, his death. ¶# ¶#

14. Topic Sentences
But you could also construct unique topic sentences to fit your essay and writing style.
Gatsby’s obsession transcends reality, and his dream version of Daisy can never live up to the real Daisy.
Gatsby’s inability to differentiate between his dream and reality leads to great disappointment and, ultimately, his death.
Thematic idea from thesis ¶# ¶#
Statement of THEME from thesis.

15. Not Connected to Thesis
Topic Sentences
Now evaluate your TOPIC SENTENCES based on the following rubric:
Excellent
No Topic Sentences
Not Connected to Thesis
Generic

16. Context + Textual Evidence
You should have chosen EXAMPLES from the novel that are RELEVANT to your topic.
You also should have included CONTEXT for each example.
Highlight your context and examples GREEN.

17. Context + Textual Evidence
Here are some examples of INEFFECTIVE use of context and direct quotation for your essay examples:
In Chapter Six, Gatsby reveals that he wants to repeat the past. “‘Can’t repeat the past?’ he cried incredulously. ‘Why of course you can!’” (110).
Ineffective REPETITION.
The quotation is NOT EMBEDDED.

18. Context + Textual Evidence
Here are some examples of INEFFECTIVE use of context and direct quotation for your essay examples:
In Chapter Six, Daisy attends Gatsby’s party. She doesn’t like it. She is really bored. This upsets Gatsby. “He wanted nothing less of Daisy than that she should go to Tom and say: ‘I never loved you.’ After she had obliterated four years with that sentence they could decide upon the more practical measures to be taken. One of them was that, after she was free, they were to go back to Louisville and be married from her house—just as if it were five years before” (109).
The context is TOO WORDY.
The quotation is TOO LONG.
The quotation is NOT EMBEDDED.

19. Context + Textual Evidence
Now, an example of HIGHLY EFFECTIVE use of context and embedded quotation:
After Daisy and Tom attend the party at Gatsby’s house, Gatsby is melancholy. He desperately wants Daisy to “[obliterate] four years” with Tom so that he and Daisy could “go back to Louisville and be married in her house—just as if it were five years before” (109).
The context is brief, but provides the relevant information necessary to put the quotation into context.
The quotation is cut down and embedded into the natural sentence structure of the essay.
The flow from context to direct quotation is smooth and seamless.

20. Context + Textual Evidence
Now score your EXAMPLES based on the following rubric:
Excellent
Completely disconnected from topic
Ineffective
Good, but not embedded

21. Quality of Analysis (commentary)
After EACH EXAMPLE, you should include COMMENTARY.
The purpose of commentary is to explain the CONNECTION between your specific examples and your thesis.
Highlight all of your commentary ORANGE.
You should have more ORANGE than you do GREEN.

22. Quality of Analysis (Commentary)
Here are some examples of INEFFECTIVE commentary.
In Chapter Six, Gatsby reveals that he wants to repeat the past. “‘Can’t repeat the past?’ he cried incredulously. ‘Why of course you can!’” (110). This shows how Gatsby wants to repeat the past.
The commentary is WAY TOO BRIEF.
The commentary merely REPEATS the quotation.

23. Quality of Analysis (Commentary)
Now, an example of HIGHLY EFFECTIVE use of commentary:
After Daisy and Tom attend the party at Gatsby’s house, Gatsby is melancholy. He desperately wants Daisy to “[obliterate] four years” with Tom so that he and Daisy could “go back to Louisville and be married in her house—just as if it were five years before” (109).
Gatsby spends so much time and energy imagining a life with Daisy that he fails to realize that Daisy has her own life. His unwillingness to see her as a person with a life beyond a one-month romance makes the success of the current relationship impossible. Gatsby is not content with Daisy loving him or wanting to create a life with him in the present because he is consumed by his desire to recapture the past.
This commentary is thorough and fully explores the quotation provided.
The commentary is longer than the quotation.

24. Quality of Analysis (Commentary)
Now evaluate the ANALYSIS or COMMENTARY based on the rubric:
Excellent
Off Topic
Too brief
Generic

25. Summary Sentence
Should conclude each paragraph by connecting back to your thesis statement.
Should not be highlighted.
If you DO NOT have a sentence at the end of each paragraph that is not highlighted, then you need to add one when you are typing up your final draft.

26. Correctness of Style The last element you need to evaluate is your:
Grammar
Usage
Punctuation
Spelling
Mark any errors you find in your essay.

27. Correctness of Style
Now score the STYLE of your essay based on the following rubric:

28. Your Score
Based on the rubric, what do you think your scores SHOULD BE?
Add up all of the points to determine your estimated grade for this essay.
How did you do?

29. Revise/Edit/Publish
Use the feedback and sample rubric to help guide you as you revise/edit and type your final draft.