1. Chemistry

2. Joke 1 A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements. She said, "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teacher, there were so few of them back then. A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements. She said, "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teacher, there were so few of them back then.

3. Law of Conservation of Mass Matter cannot be created or destroyed. The amount of matter in a chemical reaction does not change. Therefore, the total mass of the reactants must equal the total mass of the products. Matter cannot be created or destroyed. The amount of matter in a chemical reaction does not change. Therefore, the total mass of the reactants must equal the total mass of the products.

4. Conservation of Mass Think about the students at CRMS as atoms. When the bell rings, students leave one room and move to another. The number of students in the school does not change, but the arrangement of the students in the classes is different and the new groups interact differently. Think about the students at CRMS as atoms. When the bell rings, students leave one room and move to another. The number of students in the school does not change, but the arrangement of the students in the classes is different and the new groups interact differently.

5. Jokes 2 and 3 A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?" "You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist. "That's it, I can never remember that word." A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?" "You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist. "That's it, I can never remember that word." Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. For what he thought was H 2 O, Was H 2 SO 4. Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. For what he thought was H 2 O, Was H 2 SO 4.

6. Solutions and Suspensions Solution: Solution: A liquid mixture of dissolved substances. In a solution it is impossible to see all the separate parts A liquid mixture of dissolved substances. In a solution it is impossible to see all the separate parts Suspension: Suspension: A liquid in which particles are dispersed evenly throughout, but do not settle because of the thickness of the solution A liquid in which particles are dispersed evenly throughout, but do not settle because of the thickness of the solution

7. Solutions Seawater is a solution of dissolved salts in water Seawater is a solution of dissolved salts in water Kool-Aid is a solution of water, sugar, and flavoring Kool-Aid is a solution of water, sugar, and flavoring Vinegar is a solution of water and acetic acid Vinegar is a solution of water and acetic acid Urine is a solution of urea and water Urine is a solution of urea and water

8. Suspensions Mayonnaise is a suspension of water, vinegar, oil, and egg yolk Mayonnaise is a suspension of water, vinegar, oil, and egg yolk Ice Cream is a suspension of ice crystals in cream Ice Cream is a suspension of ice crystals in cream Orange Juice is a suspension of orange pulp in water Orange Juice is a suspension of orange pulp in water

9. Jokes 4, 5, and 6 Q: What's the most important thing to learn in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon. Q: What's the most important thing to learn in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon. Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates. Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates. Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions. Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems? A: They have all the solutions.

10. Solvents and Solutes Solutions have 2 parts: Solutions have 2 parts: Solvents Solvents Solutes Solutes Solvent: Solvent: The part that is present in the largest amount The part that is present in the largest amount The part that is doing the dissolving The part that is doing the dissolving Solute: Solute: The part that is present in the smaller amount The part that is present in the smaller amount The part that is being dissolved The part that is being dissolved

11. Joke 7 Teacher: What is the formula for water? Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

12. Precipitates A solid that forms from solution during a chemical reaction A solid that forms from solution during a chemical reaction Boiling water will take on more sugar than it could normally hold. This will cause a supersaturated solution. As the water cools, the sugar will precipitate out. This is how rock candy is made. Boiling water will take on more sugar than it could normally hold. This will cause a supersaturated solution. As the water cools, the sugar will precipitate out. This is how rock candy is made.

13. Jokes 8, 9, and 10 Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist? A. Barium. Q. What is the purpose of a doctor? A. Helium. Q. What do you do when you find a dead chemist? A. Barium. Q. What is the purpose of a doctor? A. Helium. Old chemists never die, they just fail to react. Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.