1. Wordiness: reading is twice as nice when they are concise.

2. Save the Words
When it comes to writing, less is often more…or at least more better (that is a joke). Wordiness wastes the reader’s time, confuses them, and shows a lack of control on the author’s part. Conciseness – writing precisely what you mean to say in as few words as it takes to get your point across – shows a control of ideas and an awareness and respect for your audience.

3. 1. Be Precise
Choosing the correct word will save you time, confusion, and words, so choose your words carefully.
After Brady took all of the stuff out of his closet, he gave it a fresh coat of paint.
After Brady emptied his closet, he gave it a fresh coat of paint.

4. Question
Which of these is the best way to write the following sentence?
The desert was totally empty as far as we could see.
The desert was barren as far as we could see.

5. Question
Choose a more precise word to replace the underlined section.
The way Nina walked back and forth across the room made Lulu nervous, too.

6. 2. Use Active Action Verbs
When possible, always use active voice.
What is active voice, you ask?
Active voice is when the doer does the action, instead of having the action done to them
Active: Ed rowed the boat.
doer / active verb / receiver
Passive:
The boat was rowed by Ed.
receiver / passive verb / doer

7. 2. Use Active Action Verbs
When we don’t know or can’t think of the precise word, we often rely on “to be” verbs to get our point across; however, action verbs enhance and bolster our writing.

8. Examples Charles Darwin’s trip to the Galapagos Islands
is what inspired him to develop his theory of evolution.
Charles Darwin’s trip to the Galapagos Islands inspired him to develop his theory of evolution.

9. Examples Many factors contribute to weight gain, not just poor diet.
There are many factors that contribute to weight gain, not just poor diet.

10. Question
Which of these is the best way to write the following sentence?
Several artists were commissioned by the State Council on the Arts to create a series of murals for the subway.
The State Council on the Arts commissioned several artists to create a series of murals for the subway.

11. 3. Simplify Structure
Wordiness is often the result of bulky sentence constructions.
Eliminate wordiness in multiple ways:
1) Turn clauses and phrases into modifiers, especially that, which, and who clauses
2) Combine sentences

12. Turn clauses and phrases into modifiers
The school that I go to is undergoing major renovations. (10 words)
My school is undergoing major renovations. (6 words)
People who visit Internet chat rooms are familiar with chat room slang. (13 words)
Chat room regulars are familiar with Internet jargon. (8 words)

13. Combine Sentences
One of the problems in early childhood education is high turnover among teachers and assistants. This high turnover is due primarily to long hours and low wages.
(29 words)
One problem in early childhood education is high turnover among teachers and assistants due primarily to long hours and low wages.
(23 words)

14. 4. Eliminate Clutter
Some words merely add clutter to your sentence. The word that is the main culprit.
Cluttered: The face that is on the $20 bill is that of Andrew Jackson. (13 words)
Less Cluttered: The face on the $20 bill is Andrew Jackson’s. (9 words)
Concise: Andrew Jackson’s face is on the $20 bill.
(8 words)

15. 5. Avoid Unnecessary Repetition
Often times redundant or unnecessarily repetitious words find their way into our writing.
Redundant: As a bonus, you will receive a free pen at no extra charge.
Concise: As a bonus, you will receive a free pen.

16. It is important to remember that being concise doesn’t just mean cutting down on the words. It means cutting down on the words while not losing any of the meaning.

17. Citations
Many of the phrasing and examples in this Power Point are taken from the following sources:
KAPLAN’s Grammar Source, 2005.