1. Written by Dr. Celia Hayhoe, CFP®, Family Resource Management Specialist, Virginia Tech ©2005 National Endowment for Financial Education. All rights reserved. Funded by: Chapter 6 Effective Communication is Essential Protecting Your Retirement & Other Financial Information for Family Caregivers: What Every Adult Child Should Know

2. Effective Communication is Essential In most families, discussing financial matters is difficult. Adding the additional issues that come with caregiving decisions, makes the discussion even harder. This chapter gives communication tips for dealing with difficult topics. See the companion Web site for more information.

3. Before You Start Turn off the television and the radio Don’t start the conversation if you are rushed for time Start off with positive statements to put everyone in a good mood If you have difficulty communicating your feelings, you may want to write them down Voicing your own planning concerns may open the door for discussing the concerns you have with the care receiver’s planning

4. Tips Take Time –You may have been thinking about the problem for awhile. Give others a chance to think things over. Planning Ahead –It is much easier to discuss these issues if you are not in the middle of a crisis. –This way you can involve all family members including older children.

5. Tips Practice, practice, practice –It takes time to change old habits Using a third party as illustrated in the video –When possible choose someone who specializes in elder-care issues

6. Tips Use “I” messages “I” messagenot“You” message I feel that you do not hear what I am saying. You never listen. I am upset that I have to perform most of mother’s caregiving because it is causing me problems at work. You never help with mother’s caregiving, or You have no idea of the problems I am having. I am worried about what would happen if you became ill since I live so far away. You need to make plans in case you get sick.