1. People fail to get along because they fear each other They fear each other because they don't know each other They don't know each other because they have not communicated with each other Dr. Martin Luther King

2. Conflict Management Handling Difficult Situations!

3. Avoiding Assertiveness Unassertive-------------------Assertive Uncooperative-----------------------Cooperative Cooperativeness Accommodating Compromising Competing Collaborating

4. 4 Challenges to a Successful Conflict Mgt 1) Don’t React 2) Disarm your opponent 3) Change the Game 4) Make it easy to say “YES”

5. Don’t React “Go to the Balcony” Keep your mental balance “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you’ll regret” 4 popular strategies striking back giving in breaking off rumor mill

6. Disarm Your Opponent Diffuse hostile / defensive emotions Surprise - “ do the opposite of what is expected” Dialogue of the deaf Mutual non-listening

7. How to disarm your opponent? If you want them to listen to you, listen to them If you want them to acknowledge you, acknowledge them If you want then to agree with you, agree with them

8. How to disarm your opponent? Paraphrase - Ask for Corrections “ I can see what you are saying” “ I understand your perspective…” “ I would feel the same way…” Acknowledge feelings - Sincerity is key! Hard to Attack someone who agrees with you

9. Change the Game - Reframe Don’t Reject - Reframe! (Biden & Gromyko) Positions Interests Ask Why - help me to see why you don’t want this Ask Why Not - what would be wrong with this approach

10. Change the Game - Reframe Options - What if I show you how we can meet deadlines? Ask for Advice - help them help you People are more convinced by reasons they find themselves * Resist temptation to end the silence* 50% how asked - 50% in pregnant silence after

11. Make it easy to say YES ! 1) Actively involve person- ask questions 2) Satisfy unmet interests- intangibles 3) Save Face (core of negotiation) 4) Make the Process Easy (stages)