1. Emotional Vampires at Work and at Home
How to Cope With People Who Drain You
Emotional Vampires at Work and at Home

2. Objectives Recognize Who is the emotional vampire and how they think
Apply principles of psychology to recognize the differences in emotional vampires
Construct new Ways to transform relationships that Drain You

3. 5 Types Emotional Vampires
Lurking everywhere
Wear many different disguises
Could be needy relatives to workplace bullies
Stood up by a friend?
Let down by your sister?
Thrown for a loop by your coworker?
Zap our energy
The Narcissist
The Victim
The Controller
The Criticizer
The Splitter (Orloff)

4. Vampire Number 1: The Narcisist
Characteristics
Self Defense Tips
Enjoy her good qualities
Keep expectations realistic
To get cooperation, show how your request satisfies her self-interest
Getting angry or stating your needs will not phase her
Grandiose
Self-important
Attention hogging
Hungry for admiration
Often charming and intelligent-until her guru status is threatened
Me “FIRST” attitude

5. Vampire Number 2: The Victim
Characteristics
Self Defense Tips
This vampire thinks that the world is against him
Demands that others rescue him
Don’t be his therapist
Don’t tell him to buck up
Limit your interactions
Don’t get involved in his self-pity

6. Vampire Number 3: The Controller
Self Defense Tips
Characteristics
Has an opinion about everything
Thinks he knows what is best for you
Has a rigid sense of right and wrong
Needs to dominate
Speak up and be confident
Don’t get caught up in bickering about the small stuff
Assert your needs
Agree to disagree

7. Vampire Number 4: The Criticizer
Characteristics
Self Defense Tips
Don’t take anything personally
Address misplaced criticism directly
Don’t get defensive
Express appreciation for what is useful
Bounce back with a massive dose of loving-kindness
Feels qualified to judge you
Belittle you
Bolster her own ego by making you feel small and ashamed

8. Vampire Number 5: The Splitter
Characteristics
Self Defense Tips
May treat you like her BFF one day, then mercilessly attack you on the next day when she feels wronged
Often a threatening rageaholic who revels in keeping others on an emotional roller-coaster
Establish boundaries and know your capacity
Be solution-oriented
Avoid skirmishes
Refuse to take sides
Avoid eye contact if she is raging at you
Visualize a protective shield around you when you are being emotionally attacked

9. Emotional Vampires Not just difficult people
Are said to be people who “drain” your “life force”
All “take” and “no give”
Drain your energies through relentless demands
Take advantage of you
Not necessarily “bad” people

10. What to Do?
Identify when someone is behaving in a way that undermines your energy or exploits you while fulfilling their own needs. WIKI HOW

11. Know Yourself

12. Find powerful ways to resist

13. Find other ways to shield yourself from the psychic connection with this person

14. Don't believe that this person has a right to control your life

15. Be responsible for yourself

16. References
Bernstein, A. J., (2013). Emotional Vampires at Work: Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Drain You. New York: McGraw Hill
Bernstein, A. J., (2013). Psychology That Works: How to Protect Yourself. Retrieved on February 17,2015 from
Borchard, T. (2009). 5 Emotional Vampires and How to Combat Them. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 13, 2015, Retrieved on February 17, 2015, from how-to-combat-them/
Orloff, J. (2009). Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life. New York: Harmony Books.
Krause-Whitbourne, S. (2015). 5 Ways to Get Your Unwanted Emotions Under Control. Retrieved on February 17, 2015 from unwanted-emotions-under-control.
Beck, M., (2008). Steering by Starlight: The Science and Magic of Finding Your Destiny. Rodale: New York.