1. Argumentative Essay Feedback on First Draft

2. Key Areas for Improvement 1.Use the apostrophe correctly. 2.As a general rule, avoid using semi-colons. 3.Link each paragraph of your body section. 4.Refute any arguments you introduce that oppose your stance. 5.Ensure that your essay is between 750 and 1300 words and include a word count. 6.Include a detailed bibliography.

3. 1. Using the Apostrophe There are two main ways in which the apostrophe is used: 1.To indicate a contraction (words have been merged and / or letters missed out). – We aren’t doing any Close Reading today – We are not doing any Close Reading today. – I’m never late with my homework – I am never late with my homework. – We shan’t be moved – We shall not be moved. 2.To indicate a possessive noun (a noun that belongs to another noun). – The dog’s collars – the collars belonging to the dog. – The dogs’ collars – the collars belonging to the dogs. – Elvis’ collars – the collars belonging to Elvis. The possessive noun is the weaker use of the apostrophe – if there is any confusion between a contraction and a possessive noun, it is the contraction that will use the apostrophe. For example: – Its collars – The collars belonging to it. – It’s a very nice day today – It is a very nice day today. – Their cinema tickets – The cinema tickets belonging to them. – They’re going to the cinema – They are going to the cinema.

4. 2. Using the Semi-colon Semi-colons typically have two jobs: 1.To function as a full stop between two closely connected ideas: – The sentence was never carried out; the man was allowed to go free. 2.To separate items in a list – I went to the shops and bought the following items: some fruit, a loaf of bread, a newspaper and a pint of milk. – I went to the shops and bought the following items: some fruit, including bananas, apples and pears; a loaf of bread, as we had recently run out; a newspaper, to read the football results; and a pint of milk. Microsoft Word’s spelling and grammar checker overuses them – do not trust it!

5. 3.Use Linking Vocabulary Any well-written piece of argumentative writing will flow as one continuous piece, despite being made up of a range of arguments. One of the techniques which can help you to achieve this effectively is the use of linking vocabulary. These words are usually used at the beginning of a new paragraph but can also be used to link ideas within a paragraph. Here are some examples: 1.To introduce a point: It would seem; Many people believe; There are those who feel; The modern thinker; Current opinion is; It seems; It would appear… 2.Same line of thought: Firstly; Secondly; Furthermore; In addition; Likewise; Similarly; Also; Moreover… 3.To emphasise a point: Indeed; Undoubtedly; Without doubt; Without question; It seems obvious; Of course; Unquestionably; Absolutely… 4.To re-direct an argument: Despite this; Nevertheless; It would therefore seem; Conversely; Yet; On the other hand; However; Although; Otherwise; On the contrary… 5.To conclude a point: Thus; Therefore; Consequently; Accordingly; Hence; In conclusion; In brief; As a result…

6. Use Linking Vocabulary to Connect These Two Paragraphs Issue: Should Western countries intervene in the governance of Third World Countries? Stance: Yes they should....Intervention here not only lengthens life expectancy and improves the health of the African people, but helps create a stronger workforce, therefore improving the economy. Before and up until 1807 the British Empire was actively involved in African slavery, along with the U.S and much of the western world. Many of Africa’s problems are a direct result of occupation and colonisation, therefore, should the countries that made this mess not do what they can to put it right?...

7. 4. Refute arguments that oppose your stance Refute means to disprove an argument / explain why you are not convinced by it. The purpose of your essay is to persuade your reader to agree with your stance on an issue. To do this, you should: 1.Introduce lots of arguments that support your stance. 2.Show that you are aware of the main arguments that oppose your stance, and explain why you find them unconvincing (refute them). If you don’t refute these arguments, then referring to them will not help to persuade your reader – they will just undermine your argument.

8. Refute the argument in the second paragraph. Many people believe that capital punishment should be abolished as, if the person who has been executed has later been pardoned for their crime, it is impossible to take back this punishment. Despite this, many people believes that capital punishment should not be abolished. One major argument for this is that some people believe there are some crimes that are so appalling, the only suitable punishment for them is the death penalty.

9. 5 and 6 – Word Count and Bibliography When you submit your redrafted essay, you must: 1.Provide the word count of your essay, remembering that your essay should be between 650 and 1300 words long. 2.Provide an accurate bibliography. – Refer to specific web pages, not just domains, e.g.: “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage” Not “en.wikipedia.org ”, or “Wikipedia”, etc. Or, even worse, “the internet”(!) – Similarly, refer to specific articles in newspapers, etc., not just the newspaper itself, e.g.: “Germany and France demand talks with the U.S. over NSA spying Revelations”, The Guardian, Friday, 25 th of October.

10. Key Areas for Improvement 1.Use the apostrophe correctly. 2.As a general rule, avoid using semi-colons. 3.Link each paragraph of your body section. 4.Refute any arguments you introduce that oppose your stance. 5.Ensure that your essay is between 650 and 1300 words and include a word count. 6.Include a detailed bibliography.