1. Conciseness And Emphasis
Effective Sentences
Conciseness
And
Emphasis

2. Conciseness
A sentence should contain no unnecessary words. If the idea is fully expressed, the fewer words are used, the better. Wordiness only obscures, instead of clarifying, the idea. But one often uses more words than necessary, so it is a good habit to reread what has been written to see if there are words that can be deleted without affecting the meaning expressed.

3. Compare the following:
Wordy: It was blue in color.
It was small in size.
Mary is a quiet and careful woman.
He returned in the early part of the month of August.
Concise: It was blue.
It was small.
Mary is quiet and careful.
He returned in early August.

4. Wordy: In my opinion, I think your plan is feasible.
Repetition is sometimes necessary for emphasis, but unnecessary repetition, either of the same words or of different words with the same meaning, should be avoided.
Wordy: He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.
Concise: He gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them was convicing.
Wordy: In my opinion, I think your plan is feasible.
Concise: In my opinion, your plan is feasible.
I think your plan is feasible.

5. Wordy:. This machine was jointly designed
Wordy: This machine was jointly designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues.
Concise: This machine was jointly designed by the old engineer and some of his younger colleague.
This machine was designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues.

6. The same words are repeated in the first sentence, and different words with the same meaning( “in my opinion” and “I think,” “jointly”and “in collaboration with”) are used in the second and third sentences.

7. Conciseness can sometimes be achieved by changing the sentence structure. Compare:
Wordy: There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the trees around it.
Concise: The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it.

8. The giant pine tree on the top of the mountain towered over the trees around it. On the top of the mountain was a giant pine tree which towered over the trees around it.
Wordy: Mr. Smith usually likes to drink all kinds of wines that are produced in France.
Concise: Mr. Smith prefers wines produced in France.
Mr. Smith prefers French wines.

9. Conclusion
These examples show that sometimes a clause can be replaced by a phrase and a phrase by a word without any change in the meaning. They also show that sometimes two sentences may be combined with the idea of the less important one expressed in a participial phrase, an attributive clause, or some other form.

10. Keep It Short and Simple Clear thinking becomes clear writing
KISS
Keep It Short and Simple
Clear thinking becomes clear writing
Ask yourself: what am I trying to say?
Look at what you have written and ask: Have I said it?

11. Cut / Change: Every word that serves no function
Every word that could be a short word
Every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb
Every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what

12. Emphasis
When there is an important idea, it should be expressed with emphasis. In speech people use various ways for this purpose, such as speaking loudly, or slowly, saying very short sentences, or using a gesture. In writing there are also ways for placing emphasis on sentences or words that should be emphasized.

13. Emphatic sentences
In a passage there may be sentences which are more important than others because they convey more important ideas than others do. Such sentences may be emphasized in the following ways:

14. Short Sentences
More emphatic than long ones ,especially at the beginning or end of a paragraph, or in the midst of long sentences.

15. Sentence fragments.
One-member sentences.
The sky was overcast. A north wind was blowing. It threatened to rain at any moment. A gloomy day.

16. Imperative and exclamatory sentences
Don’t move!
How nice!

17. repetition
Government of the people, for the people , by the people shall not perish from the earth.
---Abraham Lincoln
<<盖底斯堡演讲>>(<<Gettysburg Address>>),民享,民有,民治.