1. Part Two Deejay Nelson Bryan Ochocki Megan Dehority Tracy Buchanan
Getting Past No
Part Two
Deejay Nelson
Bryan Ochocki
Megan Dehority
Tracy Buchanan

2. Don’t Reject: Reframe To Change the Game, Change the Frame
Ask Problem-Solving Questions
Ask “Why”
Ask “Why Not”
Ask “What if”
Reframe Tactics
Go around stone walls
Deflect attacks
Expose tricks

3. Don’t Reject: Reframe Negotiate About the Rules of the Game
Bring it up
Negotiate about the negotiation
The Turning Point

4. Don’t Push: Build Them a Golden Bridge
After you have successfully…
Suspended your reactions
Defused the other side’s emotions
Reframed their position
You are ready for agreement.

5. Obstacles to Agreement
Lack of interest
Vague statements
Delays
Reneging on agreement NO

6. Four Common Reasons for Resistance
Not their idea-“it wasn’t invented here”
Unmet interests- may be overlooking your counterparts basic interests
Fear of losing face- no one wants to look bad to constituents
Too much too fast- prospect of agreement may seem overwhelming

7. Build a Golden Bridge
Draw the other side in the direction you want them to move
Mediate your own agreement
Start from wherever the other person is
Building the golden bridge helps them overcome the reasons for resistance

8. Steps to Build a Golden Bridge
Involve the Other Side
Satisfy Unmet Interests
Help Them Save Face
Go Slow Go Fast

9. Involve the Other Side Ask for and build on their ideas
Ask for constructive criticism
Offer them a choice- (alternatives)
Chinese Proverb: “Tell me, I may listen. Teach me, I may remember. Involve me, I will do it.”

10. Satisfy Unmet Interests
Don’t dismiss them as irrational
Don’t overlook basic human needs
Don’t assume a fixed pie
Look for high benefit, low cost trades
Use and If-Then formula

11. Help them Save Face Help them back away without backing down
Show how circumstances have changed
Ask for third party recommendation
Point to a standard of fairness- (market value)
Help them write their victory speech- let both sides share the credit

12. Go Slow to Go Fast Guide them step-by-step
Pause at each step to sum up progress
Don’t ask for final commitment until the end
Don’t rush to the finish

13. Don’t Escalate: Use Power To Educate
Use power to bring closure without a costly fight
Use power constructively rather than destructively
How to overcome the power paradox

14. Consequences of the No Agreement
Ask critical and testing questions
“What do you think will happen if we don’t agree?”
“What do you think I will do?”
“What will you do?”
Warn, don’t threaten
Direct statement of what will happen, before proceeding with your BATNA
Demonstrate your BATNA

15. Use your BATNA, Diffuse their Reaction
Deploy your BATNA without provoking
Use the minimum amount of power to return to negotiating
Neutralize their attack by not striking back

16. Third Parties Use the other side’s constituents
Use a third party as a mediator

17. Keep Sharpening Their Choice
Always leave a way out for the other side
Final choice must be the other parties to pick the agreement or not
Always negotiate even when you have the advantage

18. After Successful Negotiation: Forge Lasting Agreement
Minimize risks
Have dispute procedures in place
Leave the negotiation on a good note

19. Turning Adversaries Into Partners
Your greatest power is the power to change the game from face-to-face confrontation to side-by- side joint problem solving.
You don’t have to take no for an answer.
The breakthrough strategy is designed to destroy your adversaries by turning them into your negotiating partners.