1. REVISION: Elevating your Style

2. Directions  Friends don’t let friends hand in crappy papers.  So….offer constructive feedback so your classmates may improve their work!  If something is definitely incorrect, mark it in red pen.  If something doesn’t seem quite right, but you have having trouble pinpointing the exact problem, highlight it in yellow.  When you hear the magic wand, rotate paper to the right.  Ultimately, everyone is responsible for his/her own work!! But, everyone appreciates help!

3. Proper Heading and Headers PROPER FIRST PAGE HEADING: First Last Mrs. Holton English III-Period 20 October 2010 PROPER HEADER AFTER PAGE 1: Holton 2 If there is a header on the 1 st page (Holton 1) cross it out

4. OVERALL MLA FORMATTING  Title should be centered below the heading  Entire paper should be double-spaced with no extra spaces between lines. (If incorrect, SPACING)  Font should be Times New Roman 12 pt font (If incorrect, FONT)  All Paragraphs should be indented (If incorrect, INDENT)

5. WORKS CITED  WORKS CITED should be centered at the top of the final page of the paper (ALL CAPS)  Minimum of 5 entries total  If either Whitman or Hughes is cited, the other must be there too.  Entries are alphabetized ( ALPHA)  Hanging Indent for all entries: Last, First. “Title of Poem.” The Language of Literature

6. WORKS CITED  Double Spaced with no extra line spaces between entries  All titles are Capitalized  All poem titles are in “Title.” (Bradstreet/Longfellow/Whitman/Hughes)  All book titles are italicized (Equiano/Douglass/Thoreau/The Language of Literature: American Literature)

7. WORKS CITED  There are PERIODS AFTER ALL SEPARATE PARTS OF THE ENTRIES.  Last, First. “Poem.” The Language of Literature: American Literature. (entry cont…)

8. BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPH  Claim is arguable and addresses Bradsteet’s value(s) ( CLAIM)  Both of the titles of the poems are in “__” and are in the first sentences of the paragraph  Has textual support from both of the poems ( MISSING TEXT)

9. BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPH  In-text citation gives the lines numbers from the poem  Period outside the citation  Example: (3-5).  ( Correct Citation).

10. BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPH  The writer’s own words introduce the quotation  Example: Bradstreet writes, “___” (5-6).  ( QUOTE INTRO)  Quotation from the text is appropriate for the claim ( BETTER QUOTE)  Commentary dominates the paragraph  Commentary explains what is Bradstreet’s primary value AND why ( COMMENTARY)

11. BRADSTREET Literature PARAGRAPH  Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:  Contractions  (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)  Circle any first or second person  (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)  Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

12. REFLECTION Value PARAGRAPH  Transition sentence helps move from Bradstreet to claim of this value in the real world today  Claim is arguable and addresses change/relevancy of value(s) ( CLAIM)  Has real life support with concrete descriptions and specific examples ( CONCRETE SUPPORT)  Has at least two examples for support ( ++)

13. REFLECTION value PARAGRAPH  If any outside source is referenced, there needs to be a proper in-text citation AND an entry in the WORKS CITED page. (If either of these is missing, ( CITE!)  Commentary dominates the paragraph  Commentary explains WHY the claim about the value in today’s world is true ( COMMENTARY)

14. REFLECTION value PARAGRAPH  Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:  Contractions  (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)  Circle any first or second person  (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)  Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

15. SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPH  Claim is arguable and addresses HOW Equiano and Douglass convey their value of freedom ( CLAIM)  Both of the titles of the books are in Italics and are in the first sentences of the paragraph ( TITLES)  Has textual support from both of the poems ( MISSING TEXT)

16. SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPH  Addresses HOW (imagery, appeals to pathos, etc) Equiano and Douglass convey their value of freedom ( LITERARY TERM)  In-text citation gives the page numbers from the book  Period outside the citation  Example: (565).  ( Correct Citation).

17. SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPH  The writer’s own words introduce the quotation  Example: Douglass writes, “___” (565).  ( QUOTE INTRO)  Quotation from the text is appropriate for the claim ( BETTER QUOTE)  Commentary dominates the paragraph  Commentary explains HOW Equiano and Douglass convey their value of freedom( COMMENTARY)  Paragraph is Organized with all of Equiano together and all of Douglass together ( ORGANIZE)

18. SLAVE NARRATIVE Literature PARAGRAPH  Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:  Contractions  (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)  Circle any first or second person  (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)  Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

19. REFLECTION Value PARAGRAPH  Transition sentence helps move from Equiano/Douglass to claim of the value of freedom in the real world today  Claim is arguable and addresses change/relevancy of freedom ( CLAIM)  Has real life support with concrete descriptions and specific examples ( CONCRETE SUPPORT)  Has at least two examples for support ( ++)

20. REFLECTION value PARAGRAPH  If any outside source is references, there needs to be a proper in-text citation AND an entry in the WORKS CITED page. (If either of these is missing, ( CITE!)  Commentary dominates the paragraph  Commentary explains WHY the claim about freedom in today’s world is true ( COMMENTARY)

21. REFLECTION value PARAGRAPH  Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:  Contractions  (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)  Circle any first or second person  (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)  Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

22. CHOICE Literature PARAGRAPH  Claim is arguable and addresses the value of ( CLAIM)  Books and “Poems” are in the first sentences of the paragraph ( TITLES)  Has textual support from any of the works ( MISSING TEXT)

23. CHOICE Literature PARAGRAPH  In-text citation gives the page numbers from the book or line numbers from the poem  Period outside the citation  Example: (388). (41-44).  ( Correct Citation).

24. CHOICE Literature PARAGRAPH  The writer’s own words introduce the quotation  Example: Author writes, “___” (380).  ( QUOTE INTRO)  Quotation from the text is appropriate for the claim ( BETTER QUOTE)  Commentary dominates the paragraph  Commentary clearly supports the claim about the value ( COMMENTARY)  If did Whitman/Hughes, organized by author ( ORGANIZE)

25. CHOICE Literature PARAGRAPH  Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:  Contractions  (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)  Circle any first or second person  (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)  Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

26. REFLECTION Value PARAGRAPH  Transition sentence helps move from literature to claim of the value in the real world today  Claim is arguable and addresses change/relevancy of the value ( CLAIM)  Has real life support with concrete descriptions and specific examples ( CONCRETE SUPPORT)  Has at least two examples for support ( ++)

27. REFLECTION value PARAGRAPH  If any outside source is references, there needs to be a proper in-text citation AND an entry in the WORKS CITED page. (If either of these is missing, ( CITE!)  Commentary dominates the paragraph  Commentary explains WHY the claim about value in today’s world is true ( COMMENTARY)

28. REFLECTION value PARAGRAPH  Circle any of the following if they are not in a quotation from the text:  Contractions  (didn’t/won’t/it’s/can’t/etc)  Circle any first or second person  (I/me/my/myself you/your/yourself)  Vague words (bad/good/nice/blah/blah/blah)

29. Read the whole darn thing List an areas where you are having trouble understanding or you find confusing